Inviting single people to the wedding

We are determined to keep our wedding under 100 people (we will most likely have one of the smaller rooms at George Washington Manor for the reception -- haven't booked it yet, but we're like 99% sure that's where we want it).

Right now our guest list is at 95 and I planned on addressing the invites to the single people who are not in a long-term relationship as 'Ms. Jane Doe' not 'Ms. Jane Doe and Guest'.

However, I already have some single friends saying, 'Oh good, I have a year and a half to find a date for your wedding.'

How do I get myself out of that situation and what do I do if the single response cards start coming back with a 'date' included?

Start by a suttle spread of word technique that I have been using...'we are really on a budget, so and so (you or your parents) are paying for it and although we'd love to have everyone, we will have to keep it down to just 100'
- then when you send the invites send them Ms. Jane Doe, and if they insist on bringing a date or are rude enough to reply plus 1 although you only invited them. Give them a call and explain nicely that although you'd love to be able to have an unlimited amount of guest, you will not be able to invite extra people....or some other version of the same thing.
If they insist, say something like...we understand if you cannot joing us, although we'd love to have you.

Good luck...

Honestly, with your wedding being 1 year and 7 months away, it's hard to answer this question.
Many of your guests that are single now could be in long-term relationships by the time you get married.

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Posted by kat124

Start by a suttle spread of word technique that I have been using...'we are really on a budget, so and so (you or your parents) are paying for it and although we'd love to have everyone, we will have to keep it down to just 100'
- then when you send the invites send them Ms. Jane Doe, and if they insist on bringing a date or are rude enough to reply plus 1 although you only invited them. Give them a call and explain nicely that although you'd love to be able to have an unlimited amount of guest, you will not be able to invite extra people....or some other version of the same thing.
If they insist, say something like...we understand if you cannot joing us, although we'd love to have you.

Good luck...

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that is such a perfect way to say it!!!

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Posted by squeekietoy

I remember reading somewhere that you only address the invites to singles with 'and guest' if they're been dating someone for a year or more.

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i never heard that one
i mean, i think it should be up to the discretion of the guest if they want to be alone

who wants to go to a wedding alone??

Thanks for the input. I've already put the word out there that we're having a small reception and that our venue only holds 75 people max.

I've been dealing with that issue too. I have a lot of single friends and have decided to only invite couples who have been dating seriously for an extended period of time.

It's just the reality of the situation and cost of weddings. I'd love for all my friends to bring dates, but if that was the case I'd have to odmit 1/2 my friends. And you know what? I want the people who are important to me at my wedding....not the random guy they met at the bar a week ago or their co-worker they are semi-hooking up with.

As long as they aren't a lone ranger (AKA they don't know anyone else or are the only single person @ your wedding) I think it's fine to invite singles to the wedding. I'm sure ur single friends and FH single friends will enjoy each other's company! That's what my single friends are excited about

Maybe I'm in the minority, but before I was part of a couple, I went to plenty of weddings without a date and I always had a good time. Even when I didn't know anybody at the wedding, I was always seated at a table with nice people.

So I really don't understand what's the big deal about going to a wedding alone.

What's so bad about it?

I'm not trying to be obnoxious, I just really don't understand why it's such a big issue.

definitely do it by word of mouth. Have your friends/relatives let others know that its an intimate/small wedding and that you would prefer only to have friends there.

My first friend that got married (almost right out of college) ended up coming up with this great saying and it has been passed on ever since as a rule pf thumb with my friends.

the rule is 'No Ring, No Bring'

with that rule, it pretty much sets a very defined standard that anyone that isn't engaged or married isn't supposed to bring a date. and that those that are invited are actually friends with the bride and groom and not someone's date. With that rule, if you have two friends that are single but dating each other, you of course get to invite them since both as guests since they are your friends and not just a date of the person you invited.

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Posted by CMS

Maybe I'm in the minority, but before I was part of a couple, I went to plenty of weddings without a date and I always had a good time. Even when I didn't know anybody at the wedding, I was always seated at a table with nice people.

So I really don't understand what's the big deal about going to a wedding alone.

What's so bad about it?

I'm not trying to be obnoxious, I just really don't understand why it's such a big issue.

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same here...

i was always invited without a guest unless I was officially a couple...

for our wedding we had few single people(over 30) and we invited them with a guest.. just felt weird not doing so..

but in your situation i'd go with what a pp sad regarding spreading the word about a small wedding and if they do respond plus one when not invited to explain that to them.. they are your friends so they should understand!

No Ring...No Bring is a little ridiculous.

That means that if your FH was invited to wedding, and the wedding fell the day before he gave you a ring, you would stay home? Whether or not you had been together for years?

I agree that it's no big deal to go alone. I just thought so far in advance, it may be difficult to decide that now.

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Posted by Snowflake08

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Posted by squeekietoy

I remember reading somewhere that you only address the invites to singles with 'and guest' if they're been dating someone for a year or more.

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i never heard that one
i mean, i think it should be up to the discretion of the guest if they want to be alone

who wants to go to a wedding alone??

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Totally agree. I would not attend the wedding if I could not bring a guest.

Its a tough thing. Everyone looks at it differently. We gave everyone a guest, and most people aren't bringing one.

As for what to say to friends who are you want to invite as a single, its tricky b/c they can find someone serious by the time your wedding comes, even get engaged, since your wedding is not for a while. Sorry to not have better advice

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Posted by 111508Bride

No Ring...No Bring is a little ridiculous.

That means that if your FH was invited to wedding, and the wedding fell the day before he gave you a ring, you would stay home? Whether or not you had been together for years?

I agree that it's no big deal to go alone. I just thought so far in advance, it may be difficult to decide that now.

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I do think the No Ring...No Bring is a bit extreme (although I do LOVE the slogan!!! ) FH and me have been together for 12 1/2 years...we didn't get engaged until this past September. So I totally understand being offended if after this much time someone didn't invite us to a wedding as a couple.

Unfortunately this is something I REALLY need to consider now because since we're envisioning a small intimate wedding, we like the smaller room at George Washington Manor. Right now with our guest list as is, we'll hit the maximum amount for the room. If a couple of single people suddenly decide they want to bring guests, that bumps us out of our smaller room.

I think I'm going to stick to the word of mouth -- I've already been telling people we're keeping things small and looking at smaller venues. If it becomes an issue closer to the wedding, I'll just have to explain that there just isn't room. What else can I do?

IMO- it's not nice to invite people without a guest. Escpecially if most of the friends have a guest there. It makes the other person feel awkward. I went to one wedding without a guest and even though it was one of my best friends and all of my other really close friends were there- it ******! They all had Bfs and all got to dance to the slow songs while I sat it out.

But, if that's what you choose to do, be ready to understand that some people may not come.

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Posted by DeeluvsVinny

IMO- it's not nice to invite people without a guest. Escpecially if most of the friends have a guest there. It makes the other person feel awkward. I went to one wedding without a guest and even though it was one of my best friends and all of my other really close friends were there- it ******! They all had Bfs and all got to dance to the slow songs while I sat it out.

But, if that's what you choose to do, be ready to understand that some people may not come.

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I totally agree, being single at a wedding is the worst feeling. I have been to many many MANY weddings by myself, and sitting at a table alone while everyone else at the table is dancing with their partner is the WORST feeling.

Although now that I'm on the other side of the planning, I can see how inviting everyone with a guest can totally blow a huge hole in your wedding budget.

I guess there are no easy answers.