Inviting single people to the wedding

FH and I are inviting single people without guests. We're the first of our friends to be getting married and half of our friends are totally single. If we were 40 and most of our guests were married and only a few were single we might reconsider, but it would add LOTS of people to our guest list.

We are inviting people 'in serious relationships' with guests, and we are interpreting that to mean whatever we want. I don't believe in the 'no ring no bring' because many people are in serious committed relationships but just aren't engaged yet. We also aren't limiting it to people who are living together, etc because one friend of mine just moved in with her boyfriend of 5 months while another friend of mine is not living with her boyfriend of 2 years.

We're pretty much inviting anyone in a relationship at this point but we're addressing the envelopes to Mr. Friend Lastname and Ms. Friend's Girlfriend rather than 'and guest' so hopefully the friend will realize if they break up they shouldn't find someone random to bring.

We were a little unsure about whether to invite people who are only dating 5-6 months, but after 1 friend moved in with her boyfriend we felt we had to invite him, and then we couldn't leave out a different friend who started dating her bf around the same time. If they are still dating by our wedding, they will come (you never know with those 2 friends though)

There will be plenty of single people though so the single friends shouldn't feel left out at all -- hopefully they will mingle with eachother

We invited people without guests b/c we had to keep our numbers down. Our rule of thumb was that if they weren't seriously dating the person (and by seriously I mean at least a year) at the time the invitations went out, they did not get a guest spot. We didn't have the money to let people bring a friend just because. And our friends understood completely.

For those that pushed us on bringing someone, we told them nicely but firmly that we were on a tight budget and with the size of our families, we weren't sure that we'd be able to let singles bring guests. End of story, period. I think most people understand especially when you are paying for the wedding yourselves and aren't getting financial support from parents.

One thing you need to be careful about though: do not invite more than the max head count for your room. You can't count on people saying no enough that you can fit extra bodies in the room. That was actually what knocked out the GWM for us. We were too small for the big room, but just on the cusp for the smaller room. We ended up being just perfect for Danfords.

GL!

1. If you don't put 'and guest' your friends can't bring a guest. End of story. If they indicate on their response card that they are bringing a date they are ignorant of etiquette (no offense, FH was ignorant of it until recently and wanted to bring me to a wedding where I wasn't invited).

2. If they ask, or complain, simply say that your hall is limited and in order to invite all of your friends and family you will not be inviting your friends with guests. Don't explain any more of that and if they say they won't go, say, 'we will miss you.' and that's it.

Also, don't feel bad about this decision. Many brides make the same one! We were originally only going to invite people with guests if they were in a serious relationship, in the (relatively small) BP, or if they were coming in from out of town. When it came down to it, we realized this included ALL of our guests but one! We obviously bit the bullet and will invite that friend with a guest.

Don't feel bad about it. .. Due to severe budget and space constraints, i could not invite some of my friends with guests. think about it... 20 friends with a guest = 40 guests.. it's hard.

that said, make sure that if you invite someone without a guest, that they know other people at the wedding that you can sit them with. i invited about 8 friends without guests, but they all knew other people at the wedding and had a great time.

IMO though, if you any of your friends are engaged or married, you must invite them with their SO, regardless of whether how well you know their SO.

Don't stress too much... if they are really your friends, they will understand. mine did...

DH and I invited unmarried couples if they were in a monogamous relationship, whether that meant living together or not, engaged or not. Singletons not in a relationship were invited singly. We made an exception for the bridal party (inviting those folks who were single with a 'guest'), although I don't think that's required.

I disagree with 'no ring...no bring.' Not being married doesn't mean the relationship's not valid. DH (then BF) was invited to a wedding and I wasn't; both of us knew the groom and we had known each other longer than the bride and groom knew each other. That offended me.

As for the OP, that policy sounds right. There's nothing wrong with inviting truly single people by themselves.

If your not in a serious relationship your not bringing some random person to my wedding. Im sorry but weddings are way to expensive to have to worry about cutting out someone more important just so your friends can bring guests. Some people dont wanna bring a guest and feel obligated to find someone to go with.

IMO it is rude to tell us its rude to not invite people with a guest. Sorry alot of us dont have endless amounts of money. My FH has alot of guy friends that are single and they will be coming solo!!!! If someone who is invited to my wedding cant understand that we cant afford to feed their date they dont have to come to our wedding.

We have had no problems everyone invited has totally understood!!!!!!!

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Posted by lucite

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Posted by Snowflake08

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Posted by squeekietoy

I remember reading somewhere that you only address the invites to singles with 'and guest' if they're been dating someone for a year or more.

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i never heard that one
i mean, i think it should be up to the discretion of the guest if they want to be alone

who wants to go to a wedding alone??

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Totally agree. I would not attend the wedding if I could not bring a guest.

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Even if you were very close withe bride or groom? What's more important, sharing in their day or being able to bring a date? I believe it's more important to share in my friends' day -- so if it were me, I'd go sans date and understand that not everyone has the money or room to invite dates. If I were engaged or dating someone for a year or more - or ONLY knew the bride and groom - that would be a different story. I do believe in inviting guests if the person doesn't know anyone. I just don't believe in inviting 'and guest' just for the sake of that person having a date.

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Posted by MayWeddingGrl
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the rule is 'No Ring, No Bring'

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sorry but that is just ridiclious. this topic comes up so much on these boards--and i never have understood how people think they can make a 'system' of evaluating and determining who is important in someone else's life which therefore determines if they would be permited to bring a date to a wedding. its just unreal. so if people are just getting serious--you have to say 'sorry but we're not deemed SERIOUS ENOUGH by my friend so that i'm allowed to bring you...cause i haven't given/received a piece of jewelry yet'

i understand
but im glad there were people that agreed with me
going to a wedding alone stinks

that being said, we did invite our single friends and family with guests and truth be told, people dont bring random people
it is nice to extend the courtesy but not everyone even brings someone

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Posted by Snowflake08

i understand
but im glad there were people that agreed with me
going to a wedding alone stinks

that being said, we did invite our single friends and family with guests and truth be told, people dont bring random people
it is nice to extend the courtesy but not everyone even brings someone

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right there with ya---we invited anyone single with a guest. while some ppl have no problem going stag to a wedding---i at least wanted to make sure they had an option...cause a LOT of people HATE doing to weddings alone. (myself included)

some friends came by themself anyway--while others did bring guests. it worked out just fine.

im glad im not alone
like i said, we invited about 20 people 'with guest'
i think about half are bringing someone

ETA: PATS ALL THE WAY!!!!!

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i never heard that one
i mean, i think it should be up to the discretion of the guest if they want to be alone
who wants to go to a wedding alone??

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Totally agree. I would not attend the wedding if I could not bring a guest.

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I wouldn't either....Every person invited to my wedding is a +1 wheather or not they are in a relationship or not.

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Posted by 111508Bride

No Ring...No Bring is a little ridiculous.

That means that if your FH was invited to wedding, and the wedding fell the day before he gave you a ring, you would stay home? Whether or not you had been together for years?

I agree that it's no big deal to go alone. I just thought so far in advance, it may be difficult to decide that now.

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I agree!!! I have been with my fh 7 years and if we weren't engaged..id be pretty insulted if anyone did this too me..its like saying my relationship isn't that serious..and I know plenty of people who were engaged before fh and I and were together for less years, and were less serious (cheating issues) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But In regards to your question..I think you have alot of time still..you don't know who will be in a relationship in that amount of time

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Posted by Snowflake08



ETA: PATS ALL THE WAY!!!!!

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Yay!



i just don't want the giants to win--so i'm all over the Pats bandwagon out of blind hatred. plus i wanna see them have that perfect record!!

woohooO!

LOL ACTUALLY I AM A BUFFALO AND PATRIOTS FAN

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Posted by MJDoc12

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Posted by Snowflake08



ETA: PATS ALL THE WAY!!!!!

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Yay!



i just don't want the giants to win--so i'm all over the Pats bandwagon out of blind hatred. plus i wanna see them have that perfect record!!

woohooO!

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As a Dallas Cowboy fan I just want the Giants to go DOWN!!!!!!

Goooooo PATS!!!!!!

We invited almost every single guest witha guest...its hard to decipher who you invite with a guest and without. I can tell you DH and I were together over 4 years when we got engaged and we went to NUMEROUS weddings together. To be totally honest I would have been utterly annoyed/offended if I wasnt invited to these weddings and vice versa.

It is a personal choice-but know that people WILL talk about it later

I have to agree .... 'no ring, no bring' is a pretty harsh policy and one I wouldn't recommend enforcing unless you want to run the possible risk of alienating and losing some of your friends.

My DH & I were together for 5 years, living together for 3 years, before we were engaged. We attended many weddings together as a couple during that time (even before we were living together), and I honestly think I would have been really angry to receive an invitation to a wedding that didn't include him. And I probably would have not attended. If the couple didn't respect my relationship enough to include my significant other, then attending their wedding wouldn't be very high on my list of priorities. And I probably wouldn't send a gift either, and it might take me a while to want to have anything to do with them either. Sorry if you're insulted by that, but its JMHO.

We invited almost every one who is over 18 with a guest ... the only exceptions were 3 cousins, one of whom asked not to be invited with a guest because he didn't want to bring the girl he was dating to a family event yet.

The reality in the end is that most of the people who didn't have someone they were dating came alone ... but that was *their* choice to make ... not ours!

Those of you who are thinking of going by the 'no ring, no bring' policy should take a few minutes to re-evaluate and take a step away from the financial aspect and imagine yourself in their shoes.

Also, to the bride who doesn't want to send 'and guest' because the smaller room at a RH is prettier ... I would suggest looking for another RH that can accommodate your 'whole guest list'!