Inviting single people to the wedding

If my guests cant understand that we cant afford to have every single person invited with a guest then I dont want them there.

I dont think some of you ladies are getting that by saying we are rude for not inviting singles with guest but you are insulting our budgets. Im not going to not invite a family member so my one single friend can bring a date!!!!

I think its each couples opinion on that note relationships less then 6 months and people FH and I have never met sorry not invited. We didn't follow the no ring no bring rule thats crazy

If you have the space and $$ to invite people with a guest, I agree, it's the better thing to do. If you can't, you can't - it's as simple as that.

If I were invited to a close friend's wedding and was single and was not given the option to bring a guest, I wouldn't even THINK of not going, however. Being there with them is more important than me having someone to talk to. I would have a good time no matter what. If I wasn't close with the person, and I didn't know anyone, I may not go - but that's only if I didn't know ANYONE.

I agree that 'no ring, no bring' is harsh and it's not the policy I will use to determine who's bringing a date. But, I don't agree with idea that guests 'should be given the option' of whether to bring someone. It's your wedding, your money. If you can, wonderful. If not, people SHOULD understand. If they talk, oh well. I would take that as someone not understanding all the issues at hand.

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Posted by Bellez95

If my guests cant understand that we cant afford to have every single person invited with a guest then I dont want them there.

I dont think some of you ladies are getting that by saying we are rude for not inviting singles with guest but you are insulting our budgets. Im not going to not invite a family member so my one single friend can bring a date!!!!

I think its each couples opinion on that note relationships less then 6 months and people FH and I have never met sorry not invited. We didn't follow the no ring no bring rule thats crazy

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first--please don't assume that people don't understand your budgets.....because i had a VERY VERY tight budget for my wedding---you can ask anyone who knows me. DH and i paid for every freaking aspect of our wedding---and we understand the cost of it.

however i think this is a case of people having their priorities a little different. i don't know about you--but for US the main priority of a wedding was that our guests have a GREAT time and celebrate with us and say ' that was the GREATEST party we've been to!' and with that--we wanted our guests to be very happy and feel totally comfortable. if that meant telling a single person 'you can bring someone!' than that is what we thought was right.

you can say what you want but IMO i DO think its rude to say 'i feel as though i have the RIGHT to evaluate whether or not you have someone in your life that is IMPORTANT enough to be your date to my wedding' for me

on any other ocasion you wouldn't say to someone 'come to a party -- but you must come alone' -- and yes i KNOW that a wedding might be 'different' cause you have to pay--but like i said you are inviting GUESTS to an affair and they should be treated as GUESTS.....my friends and family are important to me and i want them to be able to have fun and invite someone to share in that day. DH and i knew that we wantd to do this---and we knew we had to cut our budget elsewhere to do that---we did. that was something important to us.

so don't think that all the ladies who are saying 'its rude' are freaking Rockefellers--cause i am a budget conscious bride myself

I am inviting people with a guest if they are in a serious relationship. If they are single, they will not be invited with a guest because we are way over our cut-off. I would really like to invite people with dates, but I don't think it's going to happen.

Also, if the person you are inviting is in a relationship for a year or more and you know the person, I suggest you try to find out the person's first and last name. I have been invited to two weddings where I have been 'the guest' meanwhile, they know that i am enaged to their friend AND they know my first name.

i think it is a case by case basis.. its not wrong either way and i dont think you can put a 'rule' on it. You have to think ok work friends are not going to be plus one if they are not married but they all know each other and will all be sitting at the same tables, etc.

My FH has a whole firehouse full of guys and we had to really sit down and say ok i want to invite- joe, joe and joe with their girls, and dave, dave and dave without because they are single--- they dont need to bring a date to feel comfortable BUT that is because we know them, and know that they will be ok-- if it is someone that you are friends with that doesnt know a lot of people it is CURITOUS to invite them +1---

what it comes down to is its your wedding- invite who you want, and if your budget or room does not allow then you dont have to do +1

I really dont think there is an easy answer to this question. It really depends on the person, the situation, budget, etc.

I have been to tons of weddings by myself, and each one was different. If I knew a lot of people and there were other singles there, I usually had a great time. But there were other times where I didnt know too many people, and those were not so fun. And as I said in my earlier post, sitting at a table alone when everyone else is slowdancing is a horrible feeling.

At the end of the day, there are no right or wrong answers...just what your feelings and budget will allow.

Q. What do I do about guests who ask to bring guests?
A. It is impolite of a guest to ask if he or she can bring a date—but it is not impolite of you to refuse. Say, “I’m sorry, Stan, but we have very limited seating at the reception and we just can’t accommodate any additional guests.” However, if you discover that they are engaged or living together, invite your friend’s partner, either verbally or by invitation.

- Emily post , Wedding etiqutte

In the end, It's up to you ,and what you can afford

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Posted by jessnstu08

Q. What do I do about guests who ask to bring guests?
A. It is impolite of a guest to ask if he or she can bring a date—but it is not impolite of you to refuse. Say, “I’m sorry, Stan, but we have very limited seating at the reception and we just can’t accommodate any additional guests.” However, if you discover that they are engaged or living together, invite your friend’s partner, either verbally or by invitation.

- Emily post , Wedding etiqutte

In the end, It's up to you ,and what you can afford

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I love that even emily post said it is not rude if you dont invite with a guest!!!!!!!!!!! thanks for finding that.
NO one invited to my wedding has made any comments about not being invited with a guest. Your friends and family will understand
Im glad girls out there can afford to invite everyone they want good for you but dont knock the girls that dont its our opinion

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Posted by jessnstu08

Q. What do I do about guests who ask to bring guests?
A. It is impolite of a guest to ask if he or she can bring a date—but it is not impolite of you to refuse. Say, “I’m sorry, Stan, but we have very limited seating at the reception and we just can’t accommodate any additional guests.” However, if you discover that they are engaged or living together, invite your friend’s partner, either verbally or by invitation.

- Emily post , Wedding etiqutte

In the end, It's up to you ,and what you can afford

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Not for nothing but if we alllll went to verify if we were being correct in accordance with Emily Post's 'rules' we'd all be guilty of faux paus.

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Posted by skinny237

When one of my friends from work got married, she asked all of us girls from work if we would mind if she only invited us as singles. We were all in relationships and some were married. It didn't matter because we all got to hang out w/ each other and we knew ahead of time. We had so much fun!

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Oh good, yeah everyone in my office knows each other so i guess they will be fine.

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Posted by MayWeddingGrl

definitely do it by word of mouth. Have your friends/relatives let others know that its an intimate/small wedding and that you would prefer only to have friends there.

My first friend that got married (almost right out of college) ended up coming up with this great saying and it has been passed on ever since as a rule pf thumb with my friends.

the rule is 'No Ring, No Bring'

with that rule, it pretty much sets a very defined standard that anyone that isn't engaged or married isn't supposed to bring a date. and that those that are invited are actually friends with the bride and groom and not someone's date. With that rule, if you have two friends that are single but dating each other, you of course get to invite them since both as guests since they are your friends and not just a date of the person you invited.

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I agree fully with the no ring no bling ;) Weddings are way too expensive to just let everyone come

We are inviting single people w/out guests. So far we're inviting everyone we know that is in a relationship w/ a guest (even some that are as short as 6 months -- they will be together a year by our wedding).

If one of our single guests asks to bring a guest we will probably let them, but we just dont want to encourage people to bring someone random. If they aren't in a relationship now but meet someone over the next few months who they think is important enough to bring they can let us know.

However, we are not doing 'and guest' for anyone -- if they are getting a guest, we are inviting their guest BY NAME, even if we have to get the name from facebook.

For our engagement party, we had a much smaller guest list and nobody was invited 'with guest' because all of our friends were single except for 2. One was a bridesmaid, who was dating her boyfriend for 1.5 years (I invited him, and he sat at our table -- he's a friend of ours). The other girl called and asked if she could bring a date. I checked with my other friends to see if she and her ex had gotten back together, but it turned out she was hooking up with a guy from work for a week, and they weren't officially dating. I decided to tell her no, since we were keeping the list small and it was just 2 tables of friends (all who knew eachother -- it was a luncheon, no dancing or anything so no reason for singles to feel left out).

However, now that they are officially dating for 6 months or so, I'm going to invite him to the wedding.

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Posted by MJDoc12

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Posted by jessnstu08

Q. What do I do about guests who ask to bring guests?
A. It is impolite of a guest to ask if he or she can bring a date—but it is not impolite of you to refuse. Say, “I’m sorry, Stan, but we have very limited seating at the reception and we just can’t accommodate any additional guests.” However, if you discover that they are engaged or living together, invite your friend’s partner, either verbally or by invitation.

- Emily post , Wedding etiqutte

In the end, It's up to you ,and what you can afford

---

Not for nothing but if we alllll went to verify if we were being correct in accordance with Emily Post's 'rules' we'd all be guilty of faux paus.

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we may all be guilty of things but at least im not RUDE like some are saying in these posts. I want my guests to be happy and to have someone tell me it is rude to not invite people with a guest is ridiculous it just bothers me that some people think like that
we are all happy that some of you got to invite everyone with a guest but dont knock us thats all im saying

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Posted by kat124

Start by a suttle spread of word technique that I have been using...'we are really on a budget, so and so (you or your parents) are paying for it and although we'd love to have everyone, we will have to keep it down to just 100'
- then when you send the invites send them Ms. Jane Doe, and if they insist on bringing a date or are rude enough to reply plus 1 although you only invited them. Give them a call and explain nicely that although you'd love to be able to have an unlimited amount of guest, you will not be able to invite extra people....or some other version of the same thing.
If they insist, say something like...we understand if you cannot joing us, although we'd love to have you.

Good luck...

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YEP thats what we had to do. We went with the excuse that we were already at max capacity-which ironically it turns out we WERE! They told usoriginally our room could hold more than it honestly could. we only invited 'singles' if they were engaged, with the exceptance of one uncle who is gay and chose to come alone, and a friend who we just LIKE lol so we invited him anyway.

We had to make lost of phone calls (to my Dad's a hole relatives) explaining we would love to have their third cousin twice removed (one aunt listed FIVE other people on her invite!) come, BUT unfortunately we had to pay for the wedding ourselves and just had to go with a smaller budget.

Some claimed they weren't coming and we said, 'well thats unfortunate but we will ahve you in our hearst that day.'

Let them make noise. As long as you get your way, who CARES!

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Posted by MJDoc12

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Posted by jessnstu08

Q. What do I do about guests who ask to bring guests?
A. It is impolite of a guest to ask if he or she can bring a date—but it is not impolite of you to refuse. Say, “I’m sorry, Stan, but we have very limited seating at the reception and we just can’t accommodate any additional guests.” However, if you discover that they are engaged or living together, invite your friend’s partner, either verbally or by invitation.

- Emily post , Wedding etiqutte

In the end, It's up to you ,and what you can afford

---

Not for nothing but if we alllll went to verify if we were being correct in accordance with Emily Post's 'rules' we'd all be guilty of faux paus.

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Actually I go out of my way to not commit a 'faux paus?? ' for my wedding. 'rules' are not the same thing as etiquette , but determine the appropriate way to conduct yourself , especially in formal affairs

i think the OP was trying to determine if she was committing one or not , and she isn't