Is anyone choosing not to breast feed?

Like Karen said, it is a personal choice and you need to do what is best for you. Research and education is the best advice I can give you regarding how to make the right decision for you. Breastfeeding is a HUGE committment of time, of your body and your lifestyle for as long as you continue to do it. And, if you do not have the choice to be a SAHM long term, it becomes very difficult to transition back to working etc. (Phyl can elaborate more here, since she has direct experience w/BFing and working).

There are other considerations too - how do you feel about using your body to feed your baby? What is your viewpoint about using a breast pump? How do you feel about BFing in public? How about in front of family and friends? I have friends who are very squimish at the sight of a breast pump and cringe b/c they cannot imagine using a pump on their breast (or the pain it may cause). My answert is - well, BFing is probably not right for you, then b/c you have to be completely selfless and open w/your body in order to live normally and continue to BF.

While I was very hopeful to BF, it simply did not work out for me. I spent 4 weeks pumping and desperately trying to increase my supply and get Paul to latch properly. I beat myself up over it and I cried like you wouldn't believe. Finally, I had to stop trying b/c I was in pain due to a back injury and just had to give into taking meds. I could have continued to pump and throw away my milk during the medication process, but that did not feel realistically possible at the time. I can tell you that it was very emotionally painful to watch my milk dry up and disappear. I felt 'empty' if you can pardon the pun....that's the only way I can describe it.

While there are tons of books, articles and BFing support groups that tout the 'benefits' of long term BFing, there is NO actual research that has proven that long term BFing is truly anymore beneficial to the baby than formula (after the baby has received the initial colostrum that your milk glands produce). So, if you're thinking that you'll harm your baby if you don't BF, don't fall for it! Many doctors actually believe that the true benefits of BFing are really the physical and frequent contact w/Mommy. As long as you're holding your baby often and loving it as much as you possibly can, any formula that's on the market will likely supply the ample vitamins and nutrients your baby will need.

Good luck, and do not feel like you have to commit to this in order to be a great Mom.

Edited to add - OH, and you need to be prepared to GIVE UP sleeping - most BFing babies need to nurse every 1.5 - 2 hours. The biggest stretch of time in between could probably be 3 hrs, but when you consider that each feeding could last 45 min - 1 hour each, then you're up and feeding every 1.5 - 2 hrs anyway.

Also, want to add - I am not pointing all these things out to discourage anyone. I believe it's best to know ahead of time what you are truly getting into, instead of learning as you go. I am so glad that I tried to BF Paul, even though it didn't go as I had wished. I still plan on BFing my second child someday, which just shows that despite all the potential difficulties, I do believe it is worth doing!

Thanks Claudine. You mentioned a number of things that are weighing on my decision. Another factor - I'd like Al to be as involved with the baby as I am. I wouldn't want to keep the thrill of mid-night feelings from my DH I can't imagine him never feeding his own child or me being so tied to the house/feeding schedule. I know even if I do BF, that baby will still be getting bottles!

I think I'll try it, but I just KNOW if I decide against it, I'll be accused of being a bad mom by the breastfeeding fanatics (like my SIL and MIL). They can't possible imagine why someone would not want to. My SIL is the worst about it: telling me how it makes for smarter kids and prevents cancer - yea right!

Like I said, I don't know what I'll do, but I'm glad I don't have to decide anytime soon.

ps: I wasn't breastfed. I'm VERY close to my mom and I turned out just fine.

Im still debating. But yes, when breastfeeding..the baby eats more than if you were given a bottle.
My friend did it, and she said it was the best thing she ever did.
I do think it is a personaly decision..and should really think about it a lot before doing it.
It is a committment.

BF or fomula is a HUGE debate but what I find so troubling is how women fight other women over their decision. It is similar to the 'natural' or 'medicated' childbirth debate.
The most important thing is that you have a healthy, happy baby and that you are a happy and healthy mother.
I am still very concerned about how I feel about BF. I am not comfortable doing it in public or in front of people. That is me. I plan on trying but I will not allow anyone to make me feel like a bad mother if after a few weeks (or even days) I decide that it is not right for me and my baby.
THere are a lot of books on the subject and I highly suggest looking to see if your insurance covers the latation nurse to come to your home and help you after the baby is home with you. I have heard that is a huge help.
BF is not something that everyone just does easily. And from what I have read/heard it takes a while to get the hang of it.
I don't think BF is that much cheaper than fomula since you still need to rent the pump, have the supplies, get nursing pads/bras etc... I am sure it is a bit less, but I doubt hundreds of dollars less.

Let's just support each other in being moms.

I couldn't have said it better, Michele! I'm absolutely going to *try* to BF my Peanut... it's important to both DH & I. Having said that, my mom had 9 healthy bottlefed children and my sisters have 5, so I have no concerns with using formula if I'm not able to BF.

I hope to do it at least 3 months (until I go back to work). I totally support any decision a mother makes. It's really no ones business, anyway!

I'm actually going to contact my insurance co. next week to find out about lactation consultants and pump rental reimbursement. Every bit helps!!

I'm reading Dr. Sears' book now. Talk about BF advocates!!

Michele - good point on the cost savings. Many people would probably say that the convenience of formula is worth the money spent on it. Really, though - you're only feeding formula exclusively for the first 6 mos (or less, depending upon your pediatrician). Once you start supplementing w/solids, the cost of formula goes down significantly, to where the savings compared with BFing is probably minimal.

Oh, and Lisa - don't worry - thankfully b/c of breast pumps, Daddy can do as many feedings as Mommy needs him to do! Mommy does not have to be the feeding slave, even if she chooses to BF.

Edited to add - I highly recommend the book, A Nursing Mother's Companion, which is great to understand the committment involved and what is required of your body when you are BFing. A nursing Mom still needs to be super concerned about her diet and nutrition while BFing, too.

I am diffinitely going to 'try' it...I think I would feel guilty if I didn't at least give it a try. I figured GOD put those things there for a reason right?

I'm a little hesitant because of the possible discomfort, can it possibly be any worse than child birth and labor??

I am definately BF Most of my friends did/are doing it! So I know about the commitment and i have a huge support system! I would never ever comment on another woman's decision it is a very personal one

I was SURE I was going to nurse and gave it a good try.. lasted about 1 week and cried cause I just couldn't do it any longer.
I was already a DD before I got pregnant so that made me ( dont laff) a G when my milk came in.
I would nearly sufficate billy with those things.
I had to stop.
I felt terrible about it too.

Claud- as you unpack maybe I could borrow some of those books

I think all of the women said it perfectly...although I am not close to having a baby...I have friends...ones that are stong willed and BF gung-ho...who gave it up...and others that are 'wimps' who are BF all the time...

I think Michele took the words out of my mouth...I'll try, but won't be upset if it isn't the right choice

ooooohhhh yabbboooooo

*sings*
'youre in troubbbbleeeeee'

Calling those that BF 'wimps' ? - you should know better than to say something like that on this board!



PS- Michele (woops, just had to backspace to delete one L ! )
I loved your last sentence
'Let's just support each other in being moms.'

Anna I think you may have read Erica's post wrong...

I don't want to put words in people's mouths, but...the way I interpreted what she wrote...NOT that BFing Moms are 'wimps' but that she has some friends of her own who, despite not being as strong-willed or gung-ho about it, were able to stick with it and continue BFing longer than they thought...while her 'gung-ho' BFing friends seemed to have wimped out and weaned their babies sooner.

At least that's what I think she meant to say...Erica - am I way off??

Claud - I just wanted to stir the pot, its been too calm around here ! LOL Just teasin.

Just wanted to joke around since threads always get misconstrued and misread... and I just pictured those words being misread and what would snowball out of it



Yep that IS what she was sayin'

Anna you are bad.