I know this is not going to be a popular answer - but here it goes...
I hate going to showers! I only go if there is no way for me to get out of going - ie: a close close friend or family member.
I prefer to just send a gift. The idea of sitting there watching someone open a hundred gifts - that she has picked out by registering - is mind numbing to me.
Well I think it is more about supporting the bride and being there with her during her happy time. I dont think its all about presents and I think it is sorta sad that you choose not to share in someone elses joy.. JMO
If it is not about the presents why do we have to watch the bride open them?
Jen2999
Posted:
Member since
Re: Is anyone else afraid that....
Posted by Tria1110
Posted by Jen2999
Posted by Tria1110
I know this is not going to be a popular answer - but here it goes...
I hate going to showers! I only go if there is no way for me to get out of going - ie: a close close friend or family member.
I prefer to just send a gift. The idea of sitting there watching someone open a hundred gifts - that she has picked out by registering - is mind numbing to me.
Well I think it is more about supporting the bride and being there with her during her happy time. I dont think its all about presents and I think it is sorta sad that you choose not to share in someone else's joy.. JMO
If it is not about the presents why do we have to watch the bride open them?
It's tradition .. sheesh. And I think it is common courtesy to open a gift and give the person recognition that gave it to you. Its not as if it is dead silent as the bride opens presents for four hours. There is fun, wishes for the bride and her marriage, conversation with people, food, etc. THe purpose of the shower is not to get presents, its to wish the bride well and give her something to start her new life with.....whether that is advice, support, presents etc.
I hope you aren't subjecting your own guest to this 'mind numbing experience' since you hate it so much.
Kris516
Posted:
Member since
Re: Is anyone else afraid that....
Posted by Tria1110
Posted by Jen2999
Posted by Tria1110
I know this is not going to be a popular answer - but here it goes...
I hate going to showers! I only go if there is no way for me to get out of going - ie: a close close friend or family member.
I prefer to just send a gift. The idea of sitting there watching someone open a hundred gifts - that she has picked out by registering - is mind numbing to me.
Well I think it is more about supporting the bride and being there with her during her happy time. I dont think its all about presents and I think it is sorta sad that you choose not to share in someone elses joy.. JMO
If it is not about the presents why do we have to watch the bride open them?
It's called a shower since you're supposed to shower the Bride with gifts. I guess back in my mom's day lets say, showers were almost a necessity since many Brides lived w/ their parents until the wedding. I'm sure you know the expense to get a house fully up and running, so her wedding guests, would come and shower the bride with gifts to help alleviate the financial burden off the newly married couple. Granted, many of us may not NEED the gifts like our moms may have, but I really believe you're missing the point.
I love gift giving. I love getting creative, making baskets, and spoiling my friends. Watching them open their gifts to get ready for their new home, wedding, HM, etc is hardly mind numbing in my eyes. I guess I've been lucky enough to really care and be happy for the new mom or bride to be at every shower I've been to. Too bad you can't say the same.
Tria1110
Posted:
Member since
Re: Is anyone else afraid that....
Posted by Kris516
Posted by Tria1110
Posted by Jen2999
Posted by Tria1110
I know this is not going to be a popular answer - but here it goes...
I hate going to showers! I only go if there is no way for me to get out of going - ie: a close close friend or family member.
I prefer to just send a gift. The idea of sitting there watching someone open a hundred gifts - that she has picked out by registering - is mind numbing to me.
Well I think it is more about supporting the bride and being there with her during her happy time. I dont think its all about presents and I think it is sorta sad that you choose not to share in someone elses joy.. JMO
If it is not about the presents why do we have to watch the bride open them?
It's called a shower since you're supposed to shower the Bride with gifts. I guess back in my mom's day lets say, showers were almost a necessity since many Brides lived w/ their parents until the wedding. I'm sure you know the expense to get a house fully up and running, so her wedding guests, would come and shower the bride with gifts to help alleviate the financial burden off the newly married couple. Granted, many of us may not NEED the gifts like our moms may have, but I really believe you're missing the point.
I love gift giving. I love getting creative, making baskets, and spoiling my friends. Watching them open their gifts to get ready for their new home, wedding, HM, etc is hardly mind numbing in my eyes. I guess I've been lucky enough to really care and be happy for the new mom or bride to be at every shower I've been to. Too bad you can't say the same.
No need to get personal here.... I have been to many many showers. I was simply trying to get the point across that if a person is not particularly close to a bride they might not be as excited to attend a shower for them as maybe you would feel about a good friend or sister.
I understand completely what a shower is for - no need to overstate the obvious.
What's with all of the hostility? Aren't we all just here to vent and express opinions?
Goldi1021
Posted:
Member since
Re: Is anyone else afraid that....
Posted by Tria1110 I was simply trying to get the point across that if a person is not particularly close to a bride they might not be as excited to attend a shower for them as maybe you would feel about a good friend or sister.
Perhaps if your opinion had initially been worded this way, there would not have been hostility. You are certainly entitled to your opinion and this makes a bit more sense with clarification.
Jen2999
Posted:
Member since
Re: Is anyone else afraid that....
Posted by Tria1110
Posted by Kris516
Posted by Tria1110
Posted by Jen2999
Posted by Tria1110
I know this is not going to be a popular answer - but here it goes...
I hate going to showers! I only go if there is no way for me to get out of going - ie: a close close friend or family member.
I prefer to just send a gift. The idea of sitting there watching someone open a hundred gifts - that she has picked out by registering - is mind numbing to me.
Well I think it is more about supporting the bride and being there with her during her happy time. I dont think its all about presents and I think it is sorta sad that you choose not to share in someone elses joy.. JMO
If it is not about the presents why do we have to watch the bride open them?
It's called a shower since you're supposed to shower the Bride with gifts. I guess back in my mom's day lets say, showers were almost a necessity since many Brides lived w/ their parents until the wedding. I'm sure you know the expense to get a house fully up and running, so her wedding guests, would come and shower the bride with gifts to help alleviate the financial burden off the newly married couple. Granted, many of us may not NEED the gifts like our moms may have, but I really believe you're missing the point.
I love gift giving. I love getting creative, making baskets, and spoiling my friends. Watching them open their gifts to get ready for their new home, wedding, HM, etc is hardly mind numbing in my eyes. I guess I've been lucky enough to really care and be happy for the new mom or bride to be at every shower I've been to. Too bad you can't say the same.
No need to get personal here.... I have been to many many showers. I was simply trying to get the point across that if a person is not particularly close to a bride they might not be as excited to attend a shower for them as maybe you would feel about a good friend or sister.
I understand completely what a shower is for - no need to overstate the obvious.
What's with all of the hostility? Aren't we all just here to vent and express opinions?
Yes. But I think that posting about how you hate showers in a thread where someone is concerned about her own is just sorta tactless.
Kris516
Posted:
Member since
Re: Is anyone else afraid that....
Sorry, your tone seemed a little insulting. There are tons of 'traditional' brides on here that are having or had the very thing you described as being 'all about the gifts' and 'mind numbing'. I found you post to be negative and cynical, so that is why I responded the way I did. Based on the way you prefaced your original response, I think you knew you may have been in for some heated remarks.
One of my very best friends happened to be sharing a fear w/ us, and I felt as though you made her feel petty. Hence, my blasting.
Goldi1021
Posted:
Member since
Re: Is anyone else afraid that....
Kris, I know my wedding has come and gone already but can i get some sort of basket?
Kris516
Posted:
Member since
Re: Is anyone else afraid that....
Posted by Goldi1021
Kris, I know my wedding has come and gone already but can i get some sort of basket?
FH says I should go into the basket making business. I'll catch ya next time around when a little or is on the way!!
Jen2999
Posted:
Member since
Re: Is anyone else afraid that....
Michele... FRED will come to your shower and even share your bow hat
Goldi1021
Posted:
Member since
Re: Is anyone else afraid that....
Posted by Kris516
Posted by Goldi1021
Kris, I know my wedding has come and gone already but can i get some sort of basket?
FH says I should go into the basket making business. I'll catch ya next time around when a little or is on the way!!
Sorry, your tone seemed a little insulting. There are tons of 'traditional' brides on here that are having or had the very thing you described as being 'all about the gifts' and 'mind numbing'. I found you post to be negative and cynical, so that is why I responded the way I did. Based on the way you prefaced your original response, I think you knew you may have been in for some heated remarks.
One of my very best friends happened to be sharing a fear w/ us, and I felt as though you made her feel petty. Hence, my blasting.
After seeing the posts I realized - you are right. Expressing my opinion the way I did on a post that was written by someone who was expressing a concern might not have been the best idea. The beginning poster didn't say all of her bridesmaids and family weren't attending - she just said that generally it didn't look like there was going to be a big showing. Members of the BP and close family should definitely be attending.
Kris516
Posted:
Member since
Re: Is anyone else afraid that....
Posted by Tria1110
Posted by Kris516
Sorry, your tone seemed a little insulting. There are tons of 'traditional' brides on here that are having or had the very thing you described as being 'all about the gifts' and 'mind numbing'. I found you post to be negative and cynical, so that is why I responded the way I did. Based on the way you prefaced your original response, I think you knew you may have been in for some heated remarks.
One of my very best friends happened to be sharing a fear w/ us, and I felt as though you made her feel petty. Hence, my blasting.
After seeing the posts I realized - you are right. Expressing my opinion the way I did on a post that was written by someone who was expressing a concern might not have been the best idea. The beginning poster didn't say all of her bridesmaids and family weren't attending - she just said that generally it didn't look like there was going to be a big showing. Members of the BP and close family should definitely be attending.
Thanks for this. Clarifications like these always go a long way with me.
conigs25
Posted:
Member since
Re: Is anyone else afraid that....
Posted by Tria1110
Posted by Kris516
Sorry, your tone seemed a little insulting. There are tons of 'traditional' brides on here that are having or had the very thing you described as being 'all about the gifts' and 'mind numbing'. I found you post to be negative and cynical, so that is why I responded the way I did. Based on the way you prefaced your original response, I think you knew you may have been in for some heated remarks.
One of my very best friends happened to be sharing a fear w/ us, and I felt as though you made her feel petty. Hence, my blasting.
After seeing the posts I realized - you are right. Expressing my opinion the way I did on a post that was written by someone who was expressing a concern might not have been the best idea. The beginning poster didn't say all of her bridesmaids and family weren't attending - she just said that generally it didn't look like there was going to be a big showing. Members of the BP and close family should definitely be attending.
Hey Since Im the original poster i get the last word- LOL
Seriously, i was also offended by TRIAs original reply. I would hate to think that someone was sitting at my shower and was hating being there. Yes, we have ALL been to showers where we are bored, but thats usually bc we arent close to the bride/mom to be. BUT, i was just merely asking for replys from people who were afraid of what i was feeling. This is because i have been to SOOOOO many showers and i only think its fair that people reciprocate.
Goldi, Jen, Kris, thanks for 'backing me up'. Tria- Im glad youunderstood how sensitive you made us feel and no i def. have no hard feelings!! Just know (bc- are you new here??) we all get very sensitive about these things called weddings on LIW. We love each and every min. of it and we may or may not be a rare breed but nonetheless, when someone posts something upsetting, we will call them on it. Anyway, hope my shower is good and full of people
Jen2999
Posted:
Member since
Re: Is anyone else afraid that....
Posted by Tria1110
Posted by Kris516
Sorry, your tone seemed a little insulting. There are tons of 'traditional' brides on here that are having or had the very thing you described as being 'all about the gifts' and 'mind numbing'. I found you post to be negative and cynical, so that is why I responded the way I did. Based on the way you prefaced your original response, I think you knew you may have been in for some heated remarks.
One of my very best friends happened to be sharing a fear w/ us, and I felt as though you made her feel petty. Hence, my blasting.
After seeing the posts I realized - you are right. Expressing my opinion the way I did on a post that was written by someone who was expressing a concern might not have been the best idea. The beginning poster didn't say all of her bridesmaids and family weren't attending - she just said that generally it didn't look like there was going to be a big showing. Members of the BP and close family should definitely be attending.
