I continuously see posts and threads pertaining to how not-worth-it favors are...How people always throw them away...
Well...I'm insulted by this kind of talk...I searched far and wide for what I felt was the perfect favor...And I'm spending a boat-load...(BOAT load of money) on them... I certainly hope my guests don't just say: 'I'm not taking this...' or go home and throw it out if they do take it...
Favors are a tradition. Sure, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do...But really...Even kids at kiddie parties get little favor bags...I know I always did...And I would NEVER not give out a little something to my guests or just assume that people aren't going to notice or care...A favor is a token from your wedding (or any other function)...A small way of saying thank you to your guests for being there...Honestly if I went to a wedding where a favor was not given out...I would absolutely notice and I would think the couple was cheap and didn't really care about their guests...
BMD'sPeanut
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Re: Is anyone NOT anti-favors??
Posted by kissy27
I agree with Julz...This is why I am not doing favors....I have kept like 3 favors from weddings that someone gave something unique...I am doing a donation to the National Parkinson's Foundation because of two reasons... 1) My grandma suffered for 6 years with it...If you know someone that has or suffers from it, it is heartbreaking...There is ABSOLUTELY no cure for it & it is a terminal illness....I was there everyday until her last breath....So it is a little bit of a personal thing. 2) I feel they need $$ to research into this disease just as they did cancer & AIDS...They do not know what causes Parkinson's or if it is heridtary...So in my mind, I think they can put the $$ to more use...
I don't want to spend $$ & then have people throw it in the garbage....To me that is a waste...I don't feel people come to weddings just to get the favor & if that is the case, it is crazy!! This is JMO!!!
Kissy, that's very sad and I congratulate you for doing something like this...But one thing (favors at a wedding) has little to do with the other (sickness)...Yes, there are alot of people suffering in the world...But I don't feel that I have to try to save the world through my wedding (or my wedding favor)...
And I didn't say that people go to weddings 'just' to get the favor...
kissy27
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Re: Is anyone NOT anti-favors??
Posted by BMD'sPeanut
Posted by kissy27
I agree with Julz...This is why I am not doing favors....I have kept like 3 favors from weddings that someone gave something unique...I am doing a donation to the National Parkinson's Foundation because of two reasons... 1) My grandma suffered for 6 years with it...If you know someone that has or suffers from it, it is heartbreaking...There is ABSOLUTELY no cure for it & it is a terminal illness....I was there everyday until her last breath....So it is a little bit of a personal thing. 2) I feel they need $$ to research into this disease just as they did cancer & AIDS...They do not know what causes Parkinson's or if it is heridtary...So in my mind, I think they can put the $$ to more use...
I don't want to spend $$ & then have people throw it in the garbage....To me that is a waste...I don't feel people come to weddings just to get the favor & if that is the case, it is crazy!! This is JMO!!!
Kissy, that's very sad and I congratulate you for doing something like this...But one thing (favors at a wedding) has little to do with the other (sickness)...Yes, there are alot of people suffering in the world...But I don't feel that I have to try to save the world through my wedding (or my wedding favor)...
And I didn't say that people go to weddings 'just' to get the favor...
BMD'sPeanut- No one is saying that you must feel like you have to save the world through your wedding...That is not what I am doing...Everyone is entitled to look at their wedding & their wedding favors in whatever way they want...I happen to look at what I am doing for favors & I feel very good about my contributions to something that I believe very highly in....I am not out there to save the world...for you to say that a wedding has nothing to do with sickness, it is absurd & not even close to what I am saying...As you may have seen in other people's post throughout the board, I am incorporating someone very dear & special into my wedding that can not physically be there...that means ALOT more to me then giving people at my wedding a so called 'thank you' gift...if someone wants to get upset at my wedding bc they did not get a material gift, that is their problem & not mine..I am happy with what I have chosen to do as a 'thank you'
May05Bride
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Re: Is anyone NOT anti-favors??
Posted by Jax430
I guess I fall into the cheap category as well! I've been to some weddings with favors and some without. When I don't get a favor, I've never noticed, and when I do, they honestly don't make much a difference to me. I've gotten maybe one useful one ever...most end up in the trash or stuffed in a drawer. Maybe it's b/c I've gone to mostly Jewish weddings and most Jewish weddings do not have favors, so I really don't expect it. That said, there is no way that anyone could have considered us cheap for the wedding reception we had!
I do not think you can judge how much someone cares about their guests by whether or not they have a favor. Last time I checked, there were a lot more important things that determined how much you care about someone.
I agree with this. Its not a tradition for jewish weddings to give favors. Initially I was thinking about giving some at my wedding, but all my friends just reinforced how its a waste of money that could be put to better use. None of my friends gave favors and no one expected them. I guess I plan to do the same... I am considering just giving a rose to the women, but that has not been decided yet.
paulandles912
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Re: Is anyone NOT anti-favors??
While I was planning, I wasn't going to do favors, just a donation. Then I spoke to my MIL and she was floored that I wasn't going to give as she put it, a 'real' favor. So I gave out donation scrolls and boxes of chocolates. I wanted to do something edible so that no one would just take the favor and toss it, as so many people do.
BMD'sPeanut, I'm sure people will appreciate the thought that you've put into your favors and will love them.
honest
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Re: Is anyone NOT anti-favors??
Gee...if you keep telling people that their failure to give out favors makes you think that they're cheap and don't care about their guests,...those people aren't going to be very impressed with you...or your boat-load of money....
belle22274
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Re: Is anyone NOT anti-favors??
Favors have become a very hot topic in my family recently. I never knew how much people cared about them one way or the other! I never gave it much thought to be honest. There does seem to be a lot of emphasis placed on them lately though. The older people in my family insist on the guests taking something away with them, where those of us that are in a younger generation seem not to care. The Italian side of the bunch seem to think that giving away jordan almonds wrapped in tulle is a the only way to go, and if we don't the wedding will be ruined. What??? What's so special about almonds in tulle???
We ended up deciding that the escort card holder would be the 'favor' per se ... they are mini wine glasses with candles in them. But we are also making a donation to the theater we met at. We fell in love on a stage, and want to give a little something back to the place that brought us together. And, man, can they use it!
BMD'sPeanut
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Re: Is anyone NOT anti-favors??
Posted by honest
Gee...if you keep telling people that their failure to give out favors makes you think that they're cheap and don't care about their guests,...those people aren't going to be very impressed with you...or your boat-load of money....
I don't have a boat-load of money...
And my FH and I were guests at most of our guests weddings...And we always got favors.
Jax430
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Re: Is anyone NOT anti-favors??
Posted by May05Bride
Posted by Jax430
I guess I fall into the cheap category as well! I've been to some weddings with favors and some without. When I don't get a favor, I've never noticed, and when I do, they honestly don't make much a difference to me. I've gotten maybe one useful one ever...most end up in the trash or stuffed in a drawer. Maybe it's b/c I've gone to mostly Jewish weddings and most Jewish weddings do not have favors, so I really don't expect it. That said, there is no way that anyone could have considered us cheap for the wedding reception we had!
I do not think you can judge how much someone cares about their guests by whether or not they have a favor. Last time I checked, there were a lot more important things that determined how much you care about someone.
I agree with this. Its not a tradition for jewish weddings to give favors. Initially I was thinking about giving some at my wedding, but all my friends just reinforced how its a waste of money that could be put to better use. None of my friends gave favors and no one expected them. I guess I plan to do the same... I am considering just giving a rose to the women, but that has not been decided yet.
You just reminded me - our centerpieces were broken down at the end of the reception so that each women left with some flowers. Everyone loved this! Also, we had those personalized mint boxes on the table...I could do without them, but they were included.
lullabella
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Re: Is anyone NOT anti-favors??
I really think it depends on what the favor is. It also really is an individual thing, one persons TRASH is another persons TREASURE. So while I may thing the favor is junk the person next to me may love it!
I say do what ever you want! I would not be offended if I didnt get a favor at a wedding.
kel2004
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Re: Is anyone NOT anti-favors??
Posted by honest
Gee...if you keep telling people that their failure to give out favors makes you think that they're cheap and don't care about their guests,...those people aren't going to be very impressed with you...or your boat-load of money....
If you're so 'honest', why are you posting under a fake name?
BMD'sPeanut
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Re: Is anyone NOT anti-favors??
i can't believe how everyone is attacking me when i was simply saying how $hitty all those posts about not giving favors were making me feel considering that I AM giving favors...that's all...sheesh...glad everyone is so supportive...
september2004
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Re: Is anyone NOT anti-favors??
Posted by BMD'sPeanut
i can't believe how everyone is attacking me when i was simply saying how $hitty all those posts about not giving favors were making me feel considering that I AM giving favors...that's all...sheesh...glad everyone is so supportive...
you can't believe people are attacking you when you call them cheap?
QueensBride
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Re: Is anyone NOT anti-favors??
On a happier note.......I like favors and I do look forward to seeing what they chose to be the favor, if someone didn't want to give a favor...hey it's their wedding they are entitled to do whatever they want.
BMD'sPeanut
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Re: Is anyone NOT anti-favors??
Posted by QueensBride
On a happier note.......I like favors and I do look forward to seeing what they chose to be the favor, if someone didn't want to give a favor...hey it's their wedding they are entitled to do whatever they want.
and i didn't say otherwise...all i wanted to do was to point out that continuously saying how 'not worth it' favors are on so many threads is hurtful to those (ME) who are doing favors...
Jax430
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Re: Is anyone NOT anti-favors??
Posted by BMD'sPeanut
i can't believe how everyone is attacking me when i was simply saying how $hitty all those posts about not giving favors were making me feel considering that I AM giving favors...that's all...sheesh...glad everyone is so supportive...
I can understand how people's negative opinions about favors would make you feel discouraged about your own favors. I don't think that people are saying that there is anything wrong with giving favors - there isn't anything wrong with it, and it sounds like you chose ones that you are really happy with and that your guests will love.
However, the truth of the matter is that not all favors are wonderful and they do not make or break a wedding. The reason you are getting negative feedback about your post is because of your last line, calling those who don't give favors cheap and uncaring about their guests. That is a more insulting thing to say than someone saying that they generally don't like favors.
We all have our own opinions on everything. As long as you feel you made the right decision in choosing your favors, that's what's important.
QueensBride
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Re: Is anyone NOT anti-favors??
I know what you mean. Everyone has different opinions and are stating so on this forum.. If someone says things that you (not you in particular) do not agree with you just have to brush it off and just say to yourself that people have different opinions or else it becomes a battle on here.
pinky424
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Re: Is anyone NOT anti-favors??
Posted by BMD'sPeanut
i can't believe how everyone is attacking me when i was simply saying how $hitty all those posts about not giving favors were making me feel considering that I AM giving favors...that's all...sheesh...glad everyone is so supportive...
Well your post was insulting to a few people. Knowing that there are a few brides NOT given out favors you called them cheap and that they don't care about there guests.
Haley121
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Re: Is anyone NOT anti-favors??
I am new here but feel bad you feel this way.
Personally I would not give out a favor, just not our taste to do so. Really doesn't have anything to do with the cost.
But I am sure your favors are lovely and will be greatly appreciated.
WinterBride2005
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Re: Is anyone NOT anti-favors??
I like getting useful favors... like a wine stopper, or ice cream scoop or even a nice platter. I am used to receiving wedding favors.. most of the weddings I have gone to have been Italian or Greek. If I went to a wedding and did not receive a favor, I would think it was strange because of what I am used to. After reading some of the replies here, I realize that not every culture gives wedding favors... and that's ok!!
I, personally, am giving a donation to the American cancer society... the scroll will have something attached to it- just not sure what though.
I cant say that I am anti-favors, I like getting them and I cant wait to give them but if I went to a wedding where they didnt give them out, it wouldnt affect my overall opinion of the whole wedding. They are a nice touch is all. Like chair covers... there are chairs but to 'dress them up' is extra nice. Favors are kind of like that.
