Is anyone NOT anti-favors??

My name's no more fake than anyone's

And I know no more about you than you do about me.

I like favors and while I am not spending tons of $$ of mine, I am spending lots of time on making them nice. I just like to recieve them and I like anything that I have to excuse to dress up and give away. HE HE!!

BMD'sPeanut....what is your favor afterall?

My Fi and I decided that we definatly wanted to give out eddible favors becasue it was the only thing we both really liked....alot of the favors we saw were great ....but wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy too much $$$$$$

Don't get me wrong we are spending a good amount..we are giving each guest a chocolate/truffle bar from lindt

we figured lots of people love chocolate or sweets

A favor represents a thank you. Whatever you choose to thank your guests with will be great because you chose it.

However, I was never sure how donations fit into all this. Give the $$$ to the charity on your own. How is it related to the wedding as a thank you?

I am a fan of favors and have yet to 'throw one out.' I don't typically throw out gifts that my friends gave me as a thank you.

Peanut!
I'm sorry I leftyou alone so long , to take all this abuse.
I totallyagree withyouthat it is a little hurtful whe we read SO many posts about 'who needs a dust collector' & 'favors aren't worth it', etc.

It is a tradtion in myfamily & I have only heard or people giving food recently & untill this site never heard of people not giving one at all.

So , it is making a giant leap, and I know people are not EXACTLY saying this, but it does sorta feel like people are indirectly saying ' your tradition is stupid!'

And it is a tradition in my (half Italian ) family to do this & it was one of the first things my mother asked about, but I do like my favor & will defintely use the extras & I tried really hard to find something that many people would like/use, although I know you can never please everyone.

I am having smaller wedding &we have help fromfamily, so I was able to do this. I completely understand when people cannot afford to do this, but I still think it is a nice gesture if you can, even though (I admit) I threw out a tiny picture frame with doves I thought was really ugly.

I will be the first to say that I have been a FAVOR DITCHER..not immediately but when its time to do some spring cleaning. This is why I gave thought to my favors and chose food becuase i knew that alot of my guests were not going to keep trinkets...at alot of weddings I went to there were extra favors becuase people didnt take them and the bride was hurt by this..I do think its rude not to take it..unless u forget..But in no way is someone bad if they toss a favor..Now if its a picture or momento like that..thats different but stuff like almonds in tulle etc..though pretty..prople honestly wont keep it and thats a reality...so do a favor from the heart...its up to guests to do what they want with themm but at the same time dont spend $$$$$ on something you are not POSITIVE people would appreciate.

wow...people get passionate about favors!!!

So..IMO...

I LOVE FAVORS. I put A LOT of time and enrgy into choosing and assmbling them and I feel that it is another part of the wedding experience whole.

HOWEVER: I do not think it's BAD to not have them, though I will admit..that I attended a wedding that had matchbooks and placecard frames as the 'momentos' and we were discussing in the car on the way home: 'what were the favors? OH..they didn't have them. But the frame is cool...so we can put the picture of them in it!'
The only problem with that was the picture they gave inthe htank you card was Vertical..and the castle frame was HORIZONTAL. That was annoying.

HOWEVER...I did not begrudge htem and think they were cheap...the amazing reception proved that theory wrong.
We were glad to be included in thier special day. A favor is just another way to say 'thank you for sharing the day'. THen they get thank you cards, and possibly pictures too!
Another thing...I would rather have no favor..than a cheap, chinsey one. I've seen some crappy chachkas out there..and I would feel more disrespected getting one of those than nothing at all.
If your saying 'Extra thank you' than say it with something nice...or say it in the card.
JMO

also...I will say that as far as the nasty coments regarding 'almonds wrapped in tulle'...I am also Italian, and my family would be shocked and appauled if there was no bonbonierra (their propper name, though I am not sure about the spelling) at the wedding! I am however used to the mean remarks, as one of my bridesmaids shot me a nasty look and 'WHAT?' when I said that we were having them in addition to the favor...like it was the lamest and dumbest thing ever. It wasn't until I explained the symbolic significance that she was 'ok' with the idea.

Ok, I gave out favors, and I'm not sure if any were left behind, but I really don't care.

My favors were cute. I bought votives and frosted them with my wedding motif - the G Clef. They doubled as place cards. They cost less than $2 per, and I put a lot of effort into them as well.

I'm Jewish and favors are not a tradition for us, but I didn't really care because I wanted to give them. So I'm not Anti-favor.

However, if I were to go to a wedding without favors, I wouldn't be insulted. The way I look at it is this - I'm paying for these people to eat, dance, and drink top shelf liquor as much as they want for 4-5 hours. How on Earth could I be considered cheap for not wanting to give them even more than that?

I have to say I would think it was a little weird if I was at a wedding and there was no favor.
I do consider donations to be a favor and a great idea. I'm giving out placecard frames (nice silver ones) and maybe a little bit of candy. Nothing big. I like the place card frames because when I send the thank yous they can put our picture in the frame if they like.
Most favors I don't like though, I just don't find them useful.

ETA: I am Italian, I didn't know it was one of our stereotypes to give favors. I thought we were just good cooks

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Posted by gtsgirl

I am giving out lottery tickets and a cookie with our picture and the date...I didn't want to give favors at all but my FH said that we should. I like scratchoffs..(addicted) so I figured that would be a good favor, but some of my friends got married and didn't give out a favor and I didn't even notice...

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I like your idea. I love lotto and cookies! Definatly not a dust collector

I LOVE FAVORS.. If they are Corny are, they are a gift from the couple, I am a junkie anyway, so I have every CD (which I listen to all the time) I have the picture frames, the terracotta plants, the cheese platter, the vase etc. They are sweet!!! You do what you want, we're having favors!!!!!!!!!!!!! Personally I think it's weird not to have them

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Posted by september2004

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Posted by holly231

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Posted by BMD'sPeanut

A small way of saying thank you to your guests for being there...Honestly if I went to a wedding where a favor was not given out...I would absolutely notice and I would think the couple was cheap and didn't really care about their guests...

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I actually find this insulting...I would never think the couple was cheap for not giving favors, I think thats a little harsh.

Just my opinion, I am back to work!

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my opinion as well.

and add me to the cheep a$$ list!

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I agree- I am doing a donation favor but as my FH says if they complain, tell the open bar is their favor.

I just would like to clarify that my comment about the almonds wrapped in tulle was NEVER meant to be nasty or a put down. Not for one single second. It was much more a comment on the crazy little things my family is driving me nuts about (no pun intended there). I honestly belive to each is own, and do apologize if anyone was offended. I do have to sat that I think this is the inhernet problem with email, FM etc .. It's often difficult to correctly emphasize inflection, and tone. The way that comment sounded in my head clearly is not the some people might have taken it. This is the exact reason I've been a lurker for 6 months, and might go back to that status.

Again I am sorry for anyone who felt bad about that comment. It was never intended to be judgemental or mean. That's just not me.

Thanks also for the clarification on what the 'almonds wrapped in tulle' actually symbolizes. No one in my family could seem to explain it to me and I think actual tradition as it was explained is very sweet.

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Posted by StepherG

A favor represents a thank you. Whatever you choose to thank your guests with will be great because you chose it.

However, I was never sure how donations fit into all this. Give the $$$ to the charity on your own. How is it related to the wedding as a thank you?

I am a fan of favors and have yet to 'throw one out.' I don't typically throw out gifts that my friends gave me as a thank you.

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StepherG,
To answer your question on how do donations fit into a wedding as a thank you....In my case, my donation represents my grandmother who I was very close with & was dear to my family...She fought a long battle with Parkinson's disease & this is our way of honoring her....When my grandma was diagnosed with Parkinson's my family did a lot of research to try & find the answers to why, how & all the questions you ask yourself...Unfortunately, they do not have an answer...I donated to the same foundation every year...So at my wedding, it really does not serve as a 'thank you' persay in any means...We are giving out scrolls with a poem in honor of my grandma & attaching them to silk flowers that I am making...I wany my guests to know that in my heart I felt rather then spending the $$ on a favor, I am donating to something that I strongly believe in & care about...I hope this answers a question but I know it is not the same for everyone.

I missed the post about why the jordan almonds are wrapped in tulle, I'm 1/2 Italian too and I don't know what it means.