It is customary for Jewish brides not to give a favor.... is anyone not giving a favor? I am just curious....
jessnyc711
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Re: Is anyone not giving a favor???
See thats another thing that says a lot, all these trinkets symbolizing 'nice gesture or thank you' a lot of responses I hear are what are you going to do with another shot glass or candle etc.....thats why one side of me is saying 'why waste the few dollars just to save face and try to please the guests so they say hey we got a trinket for so and so's wedding that most likely gets trashed. They are getting the thank you card and photo after the wedding, thats something to remember the day.
jill13bean
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Re: Is anyone not giving a favor???
Posted by 1017Bride
As far as I heard and seen, at Jewish weddings they don't give out favors. We probably won't either. Land's End though does give out truffles in a package to all the guests as they leave ,so they will get something.
wow really... i am learning new and great things that i didn't know about Land's End thanks!!!!!!!
I was more than satisfied just with the appearance, service and outstanding food they have!!
i just got an invite to the next showcase...so excited to go taste their food again!!
2bewedin04
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Re: Is anyone not giving a favor???
In my opinion, a wedding is more elegant WITHOUT the favors. It's not a birthday party. It's a wedding. However, that being said, my fiance (who is also Jewish) totally disagrees with me, and wants favors. We will probably do something small with MnM's since that's the initial of both our names. But, if I had my preference, I'd choose to spend the money on something nicer at the wedding itself. Don't feel guilty whatever you choose. I've never walked away from a wedding saying, 'where was my favor?'
ChristineC68
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Re: Is anyone not giving a favor???
I am so torn about the whole favor thing. Yes, they are a nice gesture. But they do not come close to replacing the TY card. I probably wouldn't notice no favor but I would remember not getting a thank you card.
As a bride it's hard to come up with something nice that doesn't cost a fortune. As a guest, I would rather see the couple put the money towards something else like a fancy dinner on their HM or a nice suite for their wedding night.
When I got to someone's house I bring a 'gift' (wine/dessert/etc) and dont expect a thank you card or something to take home.
MegLehner
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Re: Is anyone not giving a favor???
I agree that weddings seems more elegant w/o favors. I think most favors are tacky and remind me of sweet 16 parties. i would rather the couple spend the $ on better beer or food or something like that. I guess some people expect favors and some do not - but I would not be insulted if I didnt get one. We are having candly apples to go with our fall theme and if people dont want to eat them there then they can take it home and that could be their favor.
cluelessbride
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Re: Is anyone not giving a favor???
I am very torn about favors. I will do them simply b/c if I do not, people will talk, and frankly I am giving them enough to talk about already : )
wenndypoo
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Re: Is anyone not giving a favor???
There's been alot of discussion on this topic. Some brides think it's insulting not to give a favor. They view it as a thank you to their guests. Others think it's a waste of money.
As a guest, I couldn't care less about the favor. Who needs another candy dish?Although I understand that some people (maybe the older crowd) expects it.
As a bride, I didn't want to do favors. It was important to my parents, so we did chocolate truffles.
jessnyc711
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Re: Is anyone not giving a favor???
wenndypoo, I like your take on it, I on on the same page as you!!
marymoon
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Re: Is anyone not giving a favor???
Posted by jill13bean
Posted by oct.2004bride
I am going to be honest..i would think it is tacky
well tacky is not the word because it is someones religion... i am giving favors just not spending a fortune on them like we did for the rest of the wedding... sometimes less is more elegant
i just don't want to give a dust collector I would almost feel cheap if i didn't even give something littlebut that is just me... even maybe some kind of nice place card holder or even a piece of chocolate with names on it
It's really not religious. Nothing in the Tanakh the Midrash or anything else, says 'don't give favors' It's cultural.
Wo we can feel free to call it tacky.
That having been said, i wouldnlt use the word tacky, but, right or wrong, I'd be kind of put off if I didn't get a favor, and people DO talk about it. They talk about EVERYTHING.
wenndypoo
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Re: Is anyone not giving a favor???
Jess great minds think alike!
Marymoon, just out of curiosity, why would you be put off if you didn't receive a favor?
marymoon
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Re: Is anyone not giving a favor???
I don't know. It isnlt a concious thing. Of course people aren't required to do it. I just think it's something people expect and they'd look for it if there weren't one.
G&D
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Re: Is anyone not giving a favor???
I am a jewish bride to be and I was confused about the whole favor thing. I was a MOH in my friend's wedding 1 year ago and she is jewish and she didnt give out a favor. I couldnt believe it until I started researching it for my own wedding. I think that it is a cultural thing because then having a favor may resemble a Bar/Bat Mitzvah. So my ultimate decision is that I am not giving out favors but doing something with the centerrpieces. Also my hall gives out mint boxes with our names that the guests could take and they are refillable. I think its a personal decision and there is no right or wrong answer!
skew
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Re: Is anyone not giving a favor???
we are probably going to give a donation to a charity. i don't think this is tacky or rude. if my guests are offended (which i am sure they woud not be) and have something to say about it, then IMO they are the ones that are tacky and rude.
i would NEVER expect something at a wedding. the invitation only and the fact that they wanted ME to share in their special day, IMO is a favor in iteslf.
ETA: our decision has nothing to do w/ religion, as we are not jewish.
1017Bride
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Re: Is anyone not giving a favor???
The food is wonderful, isn't it Jill?
laudipop
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Well, when I was cluelessly talking about what favors to give, my FMIL (who's Jewish) looked at me disapprovingly and said, 'well, I guess you can give favors if you want, but Jews don't do that.'
I never knew that.
jill13bean
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Re: Is anyone not giving a favor???
Posted by 1017Bride
The food is wonderful, isn't it Jill?
oh my it is amazing.. can't wait till April 22 the next showcase
shelly3950
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Re: Is anyone not giving a favor???
I have never gotten a favor from a Jewish Wedding. However, it is a sephardic tradition to give Jordon Almonds as a favor. We weren't goign to give favors, but I saw how little the Jordon Almonds cost since we are having a small wedding and I think we will give them out. My hall also breaks up the CP and gives flowers to teh women (b/c I am getting married by the same caterers as Sun86Moon.
molly25
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Re: Is anyone not giving a favor???
We're not doing favors simply because, if we had to make cuts, we knew that was going to be the first thing(really the only thing) to go! Everything else was a lot more impt to us.
