Is anyone using formal attire or black tie optional on invite

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Posted by StacyJill2009

I'm am doing black tie optional. Since my ceremony and reception are in the same location I do not need to have a separate reception card. Although formal reception sounds nice.

Just a note on Tessa, she is from the west coast and I contacted her about doing invitations, I think she does beautiful work . I want a formal black tie wedding which should have formal invitations. She said it is not common and few and far between in her area to find printers who will do thermograph printing. I personally do not find flat printing formal enough.

West Coast weddings are A LOT more casual than New York weddings and maybe the term formal attire preffered is acceptable there but all invitations I have received have thermography (raised) printing and say black tie or black tie optional.

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You are right, NY for the most part has the most extravagant weddings but I think she is right about people not taking the option if it says black tie optional. If it says Formal affair or Formal attire requested or just straight out black tie then people will know they have to dress formally.

As for the print I don't really know what that has to do with this and I saw the whole mess that Tessa's blog turned into over this. I honestly never paid attention to any print on any invitation I ever received. I think Tessa does great work and so do a lot of other girls on here.

For the most part, most guests i see do dress well, sometimes you have a few people who just don't know how to dress for a wedding and yeah I'll think 'what are you wearing'

BUT i will say that those who dress like this would do it regardless. I've been to black tie weddings and the girls still find a way to dress slutty, they wear long dresses that have plunging necklines or others who still find a way to not get that dressy.

You can put formal attire or black tie optional. I prefer that over black tie, only bc if you put black tie then you'll have alot of your guests going out to pay even more money to buy gowns or some men who get confused and think they HAVE to rent or buy a tux. Even my dh recently was going to do this and i told him to wear a black suit, he DIDNT have to buy a tux.

I actually didn't put anything on my invites regarding attire. Most did dress appropriately. Theres 1 person i know who showed up like she was running errands or something lol, i was so surprised, but i didnt really notice her outfit until i saw the pics. Other than that everybody seemed fine.

I like formal attire required, i had a few family members that didn't get dressed up but it didn't bother us too much. I mean no one wore jeans but some people didn't wear a dress shirt and tie and too me that is pretty standard at any wedding for a guy. For women your going to get **** attire no matter what you put down if the woman is a flashy one.

But adding the formal attire part gives the guest a slight nudge. Not a fan of black tie because to some people it means formal attire and to other means tux and gown. If you want tuxes to show up then but black tie.

We are doing black tie. I'm not adding optional.

Hope that does not sound snotty! LOL

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Posted by BarbieGrl10

We are doing black tie. I'm not adding optional.

Hope that does not sound snotty! LOL

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No i dont think it sounds snotty, when i get black tie i just think they are afraid of how people will come dressed so they do black tie. The only thing i meant about it is that we've spent alot more to attend black tie, for example recently on top of giving a monetary gift at the wedding, i had to buy a gown, i have gowns at home but some are TOO flashy and a bit much, like what i wore to my e-party and wouldnt wear that sincei wore it to my e-party lol. Problem for me is that all my gowns are about a size 4 and i gained weight since the wedding so none of them fit i had to go out and buy a gown, like i said thank god i convinced DH to just wear his black suit otherwise that would've been extra money. So did cost us over $600 to attend the wedding.

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by BarbieGrl10

We are doing black tie. I'm not adding optional.

Hope that does not sound snotty! LOL

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No i dont think it sounds snotty, when i get black tie i just think they are afraid of how people will come dressed so they do black tie. The only thing i meant about it is that we've spent alot more to attend black tie, for example recently on top of giving a monetary gift at the wedding, i had to buy a gown, i have gowns at home but some are TOO flashy and a bit much, like what i wore to my e-party and wouldnt wear that sincei wore it to my e-party lol. Problem for me is that all my gowns are about a size 4 and i gained weight since the wedding so none of them fit i had to go out and buy a gown, like i said thank god i convinced DH to just wear his black suit otherwise that would've been extra money. So did cost us over $600 to attend the wedding.

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Yeah... I totally understand what you are saying.
FHs side has no idea how to dress. This black tie thing is mostly for them.I would think if people read an invite and said it was an evening reception, they would dress correctly. I wrote semi-formal on our E-party invites and I got sooo many calls from his side....
Although.... this is me too... I dress up everywhere. I would rather be a little over dressed then under. Some people wore sundresses to our E-party. I knew that was going to happen, it wasnt too many but still, I put semi-formal on the invites to just make sure. I was really dreading people coming in shorts... Thank God no one did!

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Posted by BarbieGrl10

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by BarbieGrl10

We are doing black tie. I'm not adding optional.

Hope that does not sound snotty! LOL

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No i dont think it sounds snotty, when i get black tie i just think they are afraid of how people will come dressed so they do black tie. The only thing i meant about it is that we've spent alot more to attend black tie, for example recently on top of giving a monetary gift at the wedding, i had to buy a gown, i have gowns at home but some are TOO flashy and a bit much, like what i wore to my e-party and wouldnt wear that sincei wore it to my e-party lol. Problem for me is that all my gowns are about a size 4 and i gained weight since the wedding so none of them fit i had to go out and buy a gown, like i said thank god i convinced DH to just wear his black suit otherwise that would've been extra money. So did cost us over $600 to attend the wedding.

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Yeah... I totally understand what you are saying.
FHs side has no idea how to dress. This black tie thing is mostly for them.I would think if people read an invite and said it was an evening reception, they would dress correctly. I wrote semi-formal on our E-party invites and I got sooo many calls from his side....
Although.... this is me too... I dress up everywhere. I would rather be a little over dressed then under. Some people wore sundresses to our E-party. I knew that was going to happen, it wasnt too many but still, I put semi-formal on the invites to just make sure. I was really dreading people coming in shorts... Thank God no one did!

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some people just hate making an effort for one day. They make it about them and think 'ugh why do i have to dress up' its a freaking wedding, just show some respect by putting in a little effort, i dont know why its so hard.

For our e-party i have to say i was pleasantly surprised. Everyone came dressed nice, some even dressed up more than i thought some would, all the guys wore suits. I guess bc of this i felt comfortable not putting anything on the invites. It worked out though bc i can say a majorityof the guests dressed appropriately. But it does s*ck if you have to worry about a big group of people and how they will dress