Is anyone using formal attire or black tie optional on invite

JamieAnt06202009 Posted: Oct 20, 2008 10:27 AM

Is anyone using formal attire or black tie optional on invite

I have been going to a lot of weddings lately and have noticed that a lot of people don't dress appropriately. I see so many girls that dress so slutty and or really informal. I get mad when I see this and it's not even at my own wedding. So I am getting my invite from Tessa and was discussing the options with her. She said that if you put black tie optional people won't pay any attention but if you put formal attire preferred or semi formal attire preferred then most likely they will follow. Does anyone feel the same way as I do about this? What are you girls putting on your invites?

ELluvsMB Posted: Oct 20, 2008 10:30 AM

Re: Is anyone using formal attire or black tie optional on invite

I'm going to do Black Tie Invited. I don't expect everyone to come in a Tux...but your right about setting a standard. I went to a wedding recently at a really nice hotel in NYC and you would have expected everyone to dress nicely. I couldn't believe how some people dressed... one guy looked like a cowboy with the hat/boots/ and all lol. There were a few girls in pants like I would wear to work and even a few in sneakers.

evewedsjc Posted: Oct 20, 2008 10:31 AM

Re: Is anyone using formal attire or black tie optional on invite

ITA...i was going to do this b/c people don't think and show up looking really HORRIFIC...

JamieAnt06202009 Posted: Oct 20, 2008 10:32 AM

Re: Is anyone using formal attire or black tie optional on invite

Posted by ELluvsMB

I'm going to do Black Tie Invited. I don't expect everyone to come in a Tux...but your right about setting a standard. I went to a wedding recently at a really nice hotel in NYC and you would have expected everyone to dress nicely. I couldn't believe how some people dressed... one guy looked like a cowboy with the hat/boots/ and all lol. There were a few girls in pants like I would wear to work and even a few in sneakers.

I get so mad about this. My friend got married at a place that I wouldn't dare step in without a gown on and people wore dresses that you would buy at joyce leslie and wear to a club. I wonder if they just don't know proper etiquette or if they're just rude.

JamieAnt06202009 Posted: Oct 20, 2008 10:32 AM

Re: Is anyone using formal attire or black tie optional on invite

Posted by evewedsjc

ITA...i was going to do this b/c people don't think and show up looking really HORRIFIC...

Exactly, when we are spending this much money it should really be a formal affair.

Future Mulligan Posted: Oct 20, 2008 10:33 AM

Re: Is anyone using formal attire or black tie optional on invite

i felt that a few people in my family may need a hint

i didnt have a reception card since the ceremony is at the hotel - so i had tessa do formal reception to follow at the bottom.....hopefully people get the hint

B2B 2009 Posted: Oct 20, 2008 10:37 AM

Re: Is anyone using formal attire or black tie optional on invite

I would love to do this as well bc i've been to so many weddings lately where people are dressed as if there going to a high end backyard bbq? However I was told by a friend that worked for an invitation place that not all guests take kindly to telling them what to wear (even though it is YOUR wedding) so I'm contemplating it!!

megsher Posted: Oct 20, 2008 10:50 AM

Re: Is anyone using formal attire or black tie optional on invite

Posted by B2B 2009

I would love to do this as well bc i've been to so many weddings lately where people are dressed as if there going to a high end backyard bbq? However I was told by a friend that worked for an invitation place that not all guests take kindly to telling them what to wear (even though it is YOUR wedding) so I'm contemplating it!!

Yeah etiquette wise you are not supposed to tell guests what to wear, but this is b/c they are supposed to know themselves. since it sounds like so many don't, I think it's fine to give a nudge in the right direction. But I like the idea of formal, instead of black tie, b/c if I got a black tie invite I might make fh rent a tux, and that might make some people mad.

Jsquared279 Posted: Oct 20, 2008 10:59 AM

Re: Is anyone using formal attire or black tie optional on invite

We are doing Black Tie Optional!!

ELluvsMB Posted: Oct 20, 2008 11:08 AM

Re: Is anyone using formal attire or black tie optional on invite

Is Black Tie Invited the same as Black Tie Optional??

flairforfashion Posted: Oct 20, 2008 11:14 AM

Re: Is anyone using formal attire or black tie optional on invite

Oh crap- I forgot to tell Tessa this as well.

I agree totally though- I wanted this and even though some people ignore this, I have seen many girls show up in non suitable dresses for a wedding. I have a cousin who wore this dress that showed her yams at another cousin's wedding. It was SO embrassing. Everyone stared at her and gave her looks. Then, another cousin of mine who is recently divorced loves to look hooker-ish at weddings... So, I think this is something that might open their eyes if they see this on the invite.

flairforfashion Posted: Oct 20, 2008 11:16 AM

Re: Is anyone using formal attire or black tie optional on invite

Posted by Future Mulligan

i felt that a few people in my family may need a hint

i didnt have a reception card since the ceremony is at the hotel - so i had tessa do formal reception to follow at the bottom.....hopefully people get the hint

I think the 'formal' reception to follow is a better way at hinting it. I may consider that over 'black tie optional'.

evewedsjc Posted: Oct 20, 2008 11:16 AM

Re: Is anyone using formal attire or black tie optional on invite

Posted by JamieAnt06202009

Posted by evewedsjc

ITA...i was going to do this b/c people don't think and show up looking really HORRIFIC...

Exactly, when we are spending this much money it should really be a formal affair.

i feel like it's disrespectful to show up in something you would wear to a picnic or worse to a club in vegas to a formal affair....

marj22 Posted: Oct 20, 2008 11:18 AM

Re: Is anyone using formal attire or black tie optional on invite

yeah we r doin black tie

JamieAnt06202009 Posted: Oct 20, 2008 11:22 AM

Re: Is anyone using formal attire or black tie optional on invite

I think I might go with Formal Attire Requested so that way people know they have to dress nice. I really don't want girls showing up to my wedding in a hooker dress.

kogan09 Posted: Oct 20, 2008 11:27 AM

Re: Is anyone using formal attire or black tie optional on invite

Not sure If I'd put down 'blck tie' optional or otherwise, but I will put down formal attire since I expect people to dress appropriately given the occasion.

pooh57362 Posted: Oct 20, 2008 11:28 AM

Re: Is anyone using formal attire or black tie optional on invite

I think I'm going to put formal attire on our invites. Our wedding is during the day, I've been to a few day weddings and couldn't believe what some of the ppl showed up in. I'm not asking for everyone to wear a tux but formal would be nice.

JC297 Posted: Oct 20, 2008 11:33 AM

Re: Is anyone using formal attire or black tie optional on invite

I think I'm definitely going to put Formal Reception on my invitations. FH has some relatives that went to a wedding this summer wearing shorts.

PoppedInASnap Posted: Oct 20, 2008 11:46 AM

Re: Is anyone using formal attire or black tie optional on invite

i think i am doing this as well, but im not sure what to write

Almostawife Posted: Oct 20, 2008 11:50 AM

Re: Is anyone using formal attire or black tie optional on invite

I'm am doing black tie optional. Since my ceremony and reception are in the same location I do not need to have a separate reception card. Although formal reception sounds nice.

Just a note on Tessa, she is from the west coast and I contacted her about doing invitations, I think she does beautiful work . I want a formal black tie wedding which should have formal invitations. She said it is not common and few and far between in her area to find printers who will do thermograph printing. I personally do not find flat printing formal enough.

West Coast weddings are A LOT more casual than New York weddings and maybe the term formal attire preffered is acceptable there but all invitations I have received have thermography (raised) printing and say black tie or black tie optional.