Okay so let me just apologize for being such an a*s in the beginning. I have not had any real drama (except for making my FMIL cry when we said we weren't getting married in a church) during this whole wedding process. Whenever i saw a post about family drama on this website... i was always so lucky that it wasn't me!
WELL... i have less than 2 months to go for this wedding. 3 weeks ago was my shower and my older sister decided not to show up. I should also mention that i have not heard from her since then either (no phone call to say sorry or to ask how it went). Now i talked to her the day before the shower and all was well.
So... yesterday she calls me at work none the less. I told her that i couldn't talk right now. Then she goes... 'well you really need to call me back because the girls (my nieces, my FG's) are very upset right now. They don't understand why i'm not in the wedding and why they are. They think it's very unfair. You need to call them and do the right thing because right now, they don't want to be in your wedding.' My response... 'i have to go.' CLICK
Are you freakin kidding me??? There are so many things wrong with this. My nieces are 6 & 8 years old... am i to believe that they thought this up on their own??? Now with less than 2 months for this wedding... she wants to bring this up now? We were engaged for 16 months prior and she had 16 months to mention this. She knew way back when that she wouldn't be in the wedding (she's 44... 19 years older and we've had our differences. we actually stopped talking for 2 years and have recently starting talking again). Now i'm all for not doing what's expected, but whomever wrote the rule that family members HAVE to be in the wedding... should be shot!!!! I mean my SIL isn't in the wedding and i have 3 brothers and only 1 is in the wedding. Not to mention that she complained about spending $200 total for the FG dresses...
I'm just so done. I don't play this game and i cannot believe that she involved her daughters in this.
vent over.
Shellycakes123
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Re: is it mean to say that i hate my sister!?!?!?
OMG i know what your going through....u have to ignore it...people are miserable
aliwnec10
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Re: is it mean to say that i hate my sister!?!?!?
Posted by Shellycakes123
OMG i know what your going through....u have to ignore it...people are miserable
i think you hit it right on the head there!
eden
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Re: is it mean to say that i hate my sister!?!?!?
she needs to get over it, let her cool down 'cus you're right, there's no manual for proper wedding etiquette or the book would be wrapping around the world. :P
i have 3 sisters and none are in my wedding. don't wanna have anyone saying i'm playing favorites.
it's your prerogative what you wanna do on your big day. don't let her get you down!
aliwnec10
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Re: is it mean to say that i hate my sister!?!?!?
Posted by eden
she needs to get over it, let her cool down 'cus you're right, there's no manual for proper wedding etiquette or the book would be wrapping around the world. :P
i have 3 sisters and none are in my wedding. don't wanna have anyone saying i'm playing favorites.
it's your prerogative what you wanna do on your big day. don't let her get you down!
If it was her just pulling this with me... i can handle that. But the fact that she's involving the girls in this... is just despicable!
PATTYLAX
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Re: is it mean to say that i hate my sister!?!?!?
well if she wants u 2 talk 2 the girls,then explain that there is only 1 uncle in wedding-maybe have her (sister)do a reading or lite candles,hand out programs etc so she is part of wedding .if she is so insulted by 'not being a bm' . i understand the age diff, but this is your wedding and everyone should support how u feel. s*it is gonna happen. the week b4 my wedding my mil was fighting w/ hubby and his sister(moh) and she came to rehersal, did not go to dinner and my mom was in fr oot along w/ my brother/grandmom. well come wedding day we had moms lite the candles at the alter and when they were coming down to sit we each gave them a rose and a kiss-well hubbys mom totally dissed him in front of the whole church and left him in mid air kissing- she walked right past him(the nerve-got it on video and all) well at the recp all was well when they danced 2gether(tears-crying-sniffles-sorry-bo-hooing) so what im saying is when your day comes everything should blow over. hope that helps a little.you do whatever u want, but talk to your neices and explain. they will really appreicaiate you talking 2 them. and yes it is your sis influence on them by saying they dont know if they want 2 b in wedding(im sure that they are so xcited about wedding)
aliwnec10
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Re: is it mean to say that i hate my sister!?!?!?
Posted by PATTYLAX
well if she wants u 2 talk 2 the girls,then explain that there is only 1 uncle in wedding-maybe have her (sister)do a reading or lite candles,hand out programs etc so she is part of wedding .if she is so insulted by 'not being a bm' . i understand the age diff, but this is your wedding and everyone should support how u feel. s*it is gonna happen. the week b4 my wedding my mil was fighting w/ hubby and his sister(moh) and she came to rehersal, did not go to dinner and my mom was in fr oot along w/ my brother/grandmom. well come wedding day we had moms lite the candles at the alter and when they were coming down to sit we each gave them a rose and a kiss-well hubbys mom totally dissed him in front of the whole church and left him in mid air kissing- she walked right past him(the nerve-got it on video and all) well at the recp all was well when they danced 2gether(tears-crying-sniffles-sorry-bo-hooing) so what im saying is when your day comes everything should blow over. hope that helps a little.you do whatever u want, but talk to your neices and explain. they will really appreicaiate you talking 2 them. and yes it is your sis influence on them by saying they dont know if they want 2 b in wedding(im sure that they are so xcited about wedding)
Well we're not doing any sort of readings or anything (ceremony is on the beach). And see here's the stubborn thing in me... i don't do well with threats. She hasn't had a problem with not being in the wedding before (i would go over to her house once a week for dinner) and now she's bringing the girls into it? NO GOOD! I personally just think she's just trying to turn the table on me and be mad at me (because she knows that she f*cked up about the shower thing).
sarahthegreat
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Re: is it mean to say that i hate my sister!?!?!?
i have a sister like this. and to try to speak to her rationally is useless. she tried to tell me that it was pointless for my brother and my cousin, the rb, to go to my dh's house for pictures. i didn't think of people, it was inconvenient. and she loved to tell me what other people said. whatever. bottom line, no one had a problem and everything went fine the day of. she was just creating drama b/c she was pissy about something else.
so i hear what you are going through. i would wait to see if she calls you and see what she says
ant n tilde
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Re: is it mean to say that i hate my sister!?!?!?
you have every right in the world to be mad at her!! she has some nerve!! i cant believe some people!
and also - my brother and sister are not in the wedding, neither are any of my SILs or BILs - i am having who i want and thats all and no one has complained about it! well besides my mom but she complains about everything!
and it is SO immature to bring children into it!
rojerono
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Re: is it mean to say that i hate my sister!?!?!?
I announced I was getting married and my sisters first words were 'I am not wearing anything that costs more than $150 dollars and it has to have sleeves or you can forget it.'
I decided at that moment that I would have just one and only one girl. I told her 'Actually - I am not doing the whole BM thing... so you are off the hook!'
I totally made her think it was her own idea not to be involved and she is happy as a clam. And so am I!
LOL
jes81276
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Re: is it mean to say that i hate my sister!?!?!?
That really sux that she is putting the kids in the middle of this. I didn't have my sister in my wedding - we are not close by any means and she actually didn't talk to anyone in the family for almost 2 years. We have all just started talking again in the past year and the only reason we have gotten closer to her is because she was prego. Needless to say if my neice was older she would most definitely have been in the wedding, but still not my sis. I hope this all works out for you.....this is the last thing you need to worry about!
mycrayon1
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Re: is it mean to say that i hate my sister!?!?!?
I'm sorry to hear that! Just remember that (to quote my mom) 'Weddings bring out the best and worst in people and you just have to let the worst roll off your back'
PATTYLAX
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Re: is it mean to say that i hate my sister!?!?!?
Posted by mycrayon1
I'm sorry to hear that! Just remember that (to quote my mom) 'Weddings bring out the best and worst in people and you just have to let the worst roll off your back'
WORD 2 LIVE BY
nala3378
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Re: is it mean to say that i hate my sister!?!?!?
OMG... It is so nice to know that it is not just my FH's family...
MY FSIL(his brother's wife) is pissed b/c she is not in the wedding and niether are her girls. I am sossry I have little girls on my side of the family I wanted in my wedding.
What is with people making it all about them... Give me a break...
I think it is a midlife crisis thing my FSIL is 41. Maybe it is just that age group
PATTYLAX
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Re: is it mean to say that i hate my sister!?!?!?
Its called being jealous
snydl40
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Re: is it mean to say that i hate my sister!?!?!?
You are absolutely right. Families aren't required to be in the wedding. She should get over it-it is now 2 months before the wedding. What is she going to do? Rush order a BM dress and pay tons to do it? She should have mentioned this a long time ago. I wouldn't even let it bother me.
aliwnec10
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Re: is it mean to say that i hate my sister!?!?!?
Posted by PATTYLAX
Its called being jealous
I call it being a royal pain in the a*s who is more trouble than she's worth sometimes!
Tracyann1976
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Re: is it mean to say that i hate my sister!?!?!?
It sounds like she is just trying to create chaos.
nala3378
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Re: is it mean to say that i hate my sister!?!?!?
Like I said to my FMIL... I feel like telling them if you can't see that this day is about Me and FH then stay home. We don't want nor do we need negativity at our wedding...
my FSIL isn't coming to my shower b/c she isn't in the wedding party... GIVE ME A BREAK
aliwnec10
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Re: is it mean to say that i hate my sister!?!?!?
Posted by Tracyann1976
It sounds like she is just trying to create chaos.
Yeah well i try to live my life chaos free!
She is just a very difficult person to deal with. No one else in my family talks to her anymore. I'm it and she's pulling this with me? She is just so self absorbed and thinks that the world revolves around her. She runs around on a daily basis like a chicken with its head cut off and there's no reason for it. She doesn't work and the girls go to school all day or camp in the summer... so??? And of course because i don't have kids (her words)... i have NOTHING going on in my life. GGrrr....
