invite people only to the church and not to the reception? I have a lot of people that I know from hs, and from just life, who I only speak to maybe once every 3 months online, and they keep sending me their addresses looking for an invite. I cant invite them. Our guest list is already out of control, we need to get it down, and have been voting people off lately. Is it wrong to only invite them to the church? If its ok, how do i invite them to the church only?
MCDO15
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yes... it only becomes messey when your ceremony/reception are in the same place
ShortBride
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IMO I wouldn't invite them at all, if just to the Church. IF I got an invite just to the Church I would think that the reception card is missing..
Hamptonsbride06
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Posted by ShortBride
IMO I wouldn't invite them at all, if just to the Church. IF I got an invite just to the Church I would think that the reception card is missing..
FH just told me that. He brought up telling them all in a very sweet note that we are over our maximum at the hall, and that we would love for them to be there for us, so if they would like to come to the church please do so, and then if we get some no's, we can invite them to the reception...I just dont want to hurt anyones feelings
ML110
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i would just invite them to the church by 'mouth' rather than sending them an invite just to the church, just to keep it more casual- even blame it on something else like ' my fiance has a huge family, so our guest list is out of control, but if you want to come to the ceremony your more than welcome'- i think if you keep it casual, no one should be offended..... i did this for ours- i had been working at a job for a year, and i was getting a new job after the wedding, so i didnt want to invite all my coworkers to the reception, but i just told all of them that they were more than welcome to come to the church... a few of them came and no one was offended.....
Soon2bMrs.MC
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Posted by ML110
i would just invite them to the church by 'mouth' rather than sending them an invite just to the church, just to keep it more casual- even blame it on something else like ' my fiance has a huge family, so our guest list is out of control, but if you want to come to the ceremony your more than welcome'- i think if you keep it casual, no one should be offended..... i did this for ours- i had been working at a job for a year, and i was getting a new job after the wedding, so i didnt want to invite all my coworkers to the reception, but i just told all of them that they were more than welcome to come to the church... a few of them came and no one was offended.....
I agree! No need to send a formal invitation, this way they don't get hurt.
On the other hand some might think just because they're invited to the church, they're automatically invited to the reception.
sk1nny27
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you should just tell them what the deal is and that if they would want to come to the church only they are more than welcome. some people dont mind. i have people coming to the church but not the reception. it was just thru word of mouth though.
69
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you know.... nowadays everyone knows how much weddings cost... if you invite them verbally... they'll understand... and if not, then why be friends with them at all?
jilmadison
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Personally I think it is rude to invite to the church and not to the reception. I would be insulted.
If you cant invite them, then dont. They know when and where your wedidng is, most likely, and if they really want to see you get married, even though they werent worthy of a real invite, then they can come to the church and watch
dont insult them further by giving them a half invite
IMO
Calimali
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Word of mouth is the best way I think. I think saying 'Well our guest list was out of coutrol, so you weren't invited' is rude. It sounds like your telling them, we have a huge guest list, and you STILL didnt make it. Get the word out through family and friends. Many people would love to go to a wedding ceremony!
EJSD2006
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my mom did this for my sisters wedding. she wanted her co-workers to see the ceremony but already had too many for the reception. she explained that to them and they understood completely. no hard feelings at all. they were honored just to be at the ceremony. no formal invitation though, only word of mouth. i agree that a formal invitation would just confuse people.
also, with my mom's friends, b/c they only came to the ceremony they didn't really dress appropriately. they came in jeans which i thought was inappropriate for a wedding, but it's not as though they would've gotten all dressed up to attend something for an hour. also, they came straight from the office so i couldnt really blame them.
MissingTheBGene
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I was always under the impression that anyone can attend the ceremony, especially if it takes place in a church. I wouldn't send out a formal invitation but I agree that word of mouth would be best.
Hamptonsbride06
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Our major problem is that our room only holds 200 people max. Our parents are footing the bill. FH's family owns their own business so all the big players must be invited. In addition to that, we both have very large families. My mother has 11 brothers and sisters, my dad has 5, his dad has 5, his mom has 4, they are all married, they all have kids that are our age. Our guest list of just family, close friends (that we have known for 10 years + and are in contact with everyday)and the big shots from his office is around 210. Its not that they arent good enough to be invited, because if i could i would, and i know its important to them to be there, i just wish there was something more that i could do
Hamptonsbride06
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Posted by alnem
my mom did this for my sisters wedding. she wanted her co-workers to see the ceremony but already had too many for the reception. she explained that to them and they understood completely. no hard feelings at all. they were honored just to be at the ceremony. no formal invitation though, only word of mouth. i agree that a formal invitation would just confuse people.
also, with my mom's friends, b/c they only came to the ceremony they didn't really dress appropriately. they came in jeans which i thought was inappropriate for a wedding, but it's not as though they would've gotten all dressed up to attend something for an hour. also, they came straight from the office so i couldnt really blame them.
I dont care if they come in their bathrobe, I just want them to know that eventhough I couldnt send them a formal invite, and I couldnt ask them to be at the reception, that I do wish they were there
Sapphire77
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Posted by jilmadison
Personally I think it is rude to invite to the church and not to the reception. I would be insulted.
If you cant invite them, then dont. They know when and where your wedidng is, most likely, and if they really want to see you get married, even though they werent worthy of a real invite, then they can come to the church and watch
dont insult them further by giving them a half invite
IMO
I agree
Mrs. Powell
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Posted by jilmadison
Personally I think it is rude to invite to the church and not to the reception. I would be insulted.
If you cant invite them, then dont. They know when and where your wedidng is, most likely, and if they really want to see you get married, even though they werent worthy of a real invite, then they can come to the church and watch
dont insult them further by giving them a half invite
IMO
I so agree.
amyg1033
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THE IS THE RUDEST THING I HAVE EVER HEARD OF!!!!!! Wouldn't you be embarrassed to look these people in the face? You're basically saying 'you're not special enough to make the invitation list, but I'd like you to take time out of your busy day to watch me walk down the aisle.' In fact, I recently watched an OPRAH episode on good etiquette and she had a couple in the audience who asked this same question. Everyone else in the audience and OPRAH was appalled that such an idea would even be considered. If you want certain people to be at the church but not at the hall, try getting it out through word of mouth where you're getting married and that you welcome anyone who would like to give their blessing. That way, if these people want to show up at the church, it's their choice. Then, they don't have to feel ashamed as everyone else makes their way to the reception and they have to make their way home. (**and just because other people on these boards say they've done it, doesn't make it right.)
nferrandi
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I would maybe just email them and say that your guest list is already over the top and you're sorry you can't have them at the reception. Let them know they are more than welcome to attend the ceremony if they would like and give them the info.
October Bliss
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You can only invite people to the church and not the recpetion through word of mouth. A formal invite will be viewed as just 'missing' the reception card.
There are a bunch of people coming to my ceremony that aren't coming to the reception because they know I can afford to include everyone. At this point I am figuring out who to boot off the list to include a few LIW girls instead!!
lipglossjunky73
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I would be fine if someone called me and said - look - I couldn't invite everybody, but I would still love for you to be there and share this day with me...
I personally don't think it's rude at all - it happened with a coworker and unfortunately, I was sick and couldnt go to the church, but I was delighted that she cared enough that I would be there...
I think if someone thought enough about me that they made a call to let me know whats happening and why, that I would feel honored to still watch them get married!!! How special - and its obviously not for the gift!!
I don't know - some people are touchy and some people are a little more carefree about life and appreciate and honor everyone around them - free dinner or not...
I say go ahead - it's better to acknowledge your love and care for them this way rather than just ignore that they exist completely!
