IS IT REALLY OKAY TO....

patticakes Posted: Aug 10, 2006 09:36 PM

IS IT REALLY OKAY TO....

Only invite some people from work, not all? I'm sure there are lots of posts on this but I just can't part with some invitations because I'm afraid I'll hurt others feelings! There are about 4-5 people I don't see a need to invite, and the people I did invite work there for the entire four years I have been there and longer...Make sense? I just want to put this to rest already!!!!! Please give your advice!!!!! TIA...

sugarkube4 Posted: Aug 10, 2006 09:56 PM

Re: IS IT REALLY OKAY TO....

I am inviting my direct supervisor and my co-worker who is my friend.. My boss is an @ss, so he's not getting an invite, and I don't have the money to invite everyone else.. (and I'd rather not.. just seeing how gross they dress in a corporate environment is enough for me)

ewickens Posted: Aug 10, 2006 10:17 PM

Re: IS IT REALLY OKAY TO....

I'm inviting the head honchos that I work with, a few support staff, but I'm leaving a handful out b/c well, I feel like it!

MrsStefan Posted: Aug 10, 2006 10:40 PM

Re: IS IT REALLY OKAY TO....

I invited my direct supervisor and all the girls that I socialize with (lunch or after work drinks). I feel bad about not inviting everyone but I just cant afford it

October Bliss Posted: Aug 10, 2006 11:12 PM

Re: IS IT REALLY OKAY TO....

I work for an agency that has 3 offices. Total about 75 people. I'm union president, which means I actually know all 75 people. In my individual office there are 35 people. In my unit, there are a total of 13 people (it used to be 15, but both secretaries were transferred to other units due to funding cuts) across the three offices, including me. From my unit, I am inviting my immediate supervisor - that's it. I am also inviting my former secretary because I really really like her and miss her tremendously (in addition to being transferred to a different unit, she is now in a different office). There are two people that I have lunch with on a semi-regular basis, or at least did before I started saving all my money to pay for this wedding, that are invited. That's it.

I should mention that there are 2 people that have left the agency this year that are also invited, but they are people that I hang out with outside the office on a regular basis.

So, for me, the answer is yes, it's okay to invite some coworkers but not others.

krispyc Posted: Aug 11, 2006 09:18 AM

Re: IS IT REALLY OKAY TO....

I only invited the ladies I work with. And not all of them. Only the ones that have been around since I started at my job 3 years ago. My supervisor left and a new one came in around the time I mailed out the invites but I only invited my ex-boss, not the current one.

jenn122397 Posted: Aug 11, 2006 09:23 AM

Re: IS IT REALLY OKAY TO....

I was wondering about that too...well one of the other teachers is one of my best friends and my BM so she is automatically invited but there are only about less than 5 teachers I would invite - but then it adds up because if they all bring a guest thats like 10 people (another table, another CP) that adds up to alot of $$$

Mdolph6 Posted: Aug 11, 2006 09:26 AM

Re: IS IT REALLY OKAY TO....

I am also stuck.....I work with about 30 people in my office and everyone is always asking me about the wedding plans and everything but when it comes down to it all I have no idea who I should invite!!

DandS Posted: Aug 11, 2006 09:27 AM

Re: IS IT REALLY OKAY TO....

I have 2 jobs and to invite everyone from both jobs would have been about 150 people plus guests . So I decided to invite everyone from my day job (about 15 people with their guests) because we are a very close office and I could not cut anyone out <-- it was either all or none. And my 2nd job I am only inviting my bosses and a few girls that I talk to outside of work with their guests. So all together that is still 30 people plus their dates, but it is better than 150 plus dates. I really think everyone will understand if they don't get invited. You have to cut the line somewhere. It becomes too much!

greenfreak Posted: Aug 11, 2006 10:08 AM

Re: IS IT REALLY OKAY TO....

As far as I'm concerned, you invite the people you really want to be there, period. The only reason I see that not inviting people would be a problem is for the uninvitees themselves. I mean, if you think the work atmosphere would suffer because of it.

I, and others I work with, used another rule that if you hang out with a coworker off-hours on a weekend, they should be invited. Happy hours don't count, because it's like an extension of the work day and it's a 'convenient work friend' situation.

And, of course, if you were invited to any of their weddings, showers, parties etc.

Listen, it comes down to who you want to share that day with. I invited one co-worker out of 30 because we've hung out outside work, I was invited to her baby shower, and she's the only one I'll most likely remember fondly in 10 years or more. I did not invite my boss and I stick by that decision.

j2911 Posted: Aug 11, 2006 10:17 AM

Re: IS IT REALLY OKAY TO....

this might be a problem for me too... i work in an office with only two other girls! one of them, i am close with and see outside of work sometimes, so she's invited... the other is my boss' daughter!.. and we talk about the wedding sometimes, but i only leave her guessing if she's invited or not... meanwhile, im inviting her dad since i work right under him... hope she'll understand when its the day before and she still hasnt recieved an invite!! but like you guys said, (besides my boss, just cause i feel obligated) i only want to share my special day with certain special people and also keep it a small intimate wedding.

patticakes Posted: Aug 11, 2006 12:03 PM

Re: IS IT REALLY OKAY TO....

Thanks girls, I have made my decision-you helped GREATLY and FH thanks you as he can sleep again at night without me staring at him for an answer

CLMon7906 Posted: Aug 11, 2006 12:05 PM

Re: IS IT REALLY OKAY TO....

Posted by ewickens

I'm inviting the head honchos that I work with, a few support staff, but I'm leaving a handful out b/c well, I feel like it!

I work in TINY office with a total staff of 6. I invited 3 of them (2 are married to each other). No one was hurt/upset and in the end, no one came!

camerakrazie Posted: Aug 11, 2006 12:41 PM

Re: IS IT REALLY OKAY TO....

im only inviting those close to me at work

MichLiz213 Posted: Aug 11, 2006 03:06 PM

Re: IS IT REALLY OKAY TO....

Posted by camerakrazie

im only inviting those close to me at work

Ditto. My company covers so much of Long Island, and there's a lot of people I know, and so many managers and directors, that I'm just inviting the one friend that I hang out with outside of work.

kittythestray Posted: Aug 11, 2006 03:11 PM

Re: IS IT REALLY OKAY TO....

I wanted to invite 8 out of 11, in the end I just invited them all because it was easier. None of the 3 were married or even DATING anyone so I told them before hand I wasn't going to invite them with dates. If everyone was married or in a serious relationship it would have been a big problem.

ayadali Posted: Aug 11, 2006 03:26 PM

Re: IS IT REALLY OKAY TO....

I only invited the three people I report up to.... I wanted to invite another one of my coworkers but the seating wouldn't have worked out and I didn't want her to be uncomfortable.

You're going to offend people whether you like it or not. You have to do what makes you comfortable.

reenielady Posted: Aug 11, 2006 11:09 PM

Re: IS IT REALLY OKAY TO....

I found it diffucult as well. I only invited some way to many to invite all. The way I thought about it was - if I or they quit in the morning would i still be in contact with them?