Is it tacky to...

Kris10546 Posted: Jan 09, 2007 01:39 PM

Is it tacky to...

...not register before my e-party? My FH and I don't live together and will be registering before the bridal shower and other events, but my mother suggested not registering before the party (1/28/07) so we don't get gifts and so we can try to get more money to use towards the wedding. We already received two gifts - both of which were NOT money nor were they things we would EVER use. I'm not trying to be rude at all or anything, but neither of us has the room to store anything until we get our own place (we both live with our parents). So, should we just register and get gifts we will at least want - or not, and gamble the game of bad gifts vs. good gifts vs. money?

Please dont come down hard on me - I am honestly looking for an honest reply.

Thank you!

pameladhd Posted: Jan 09, 2007 01:41 PM

Re: Is it tacky to...

I was wondering the same thing myself hon! Good question!

AeroJenn Posted: Jan 09, 2007 01:45 PM

Re: Is it tacky to...

You dont have to register before your e-party. Many couples dont.

Kris10546 Posted: Jan 09, 2007 01:48 PM

Re: Is it tacky to...

Okay, because I was just thinking I might as well go to Macy's and put a few things on there - but we seriously DONT HAVE THE SPACE for ANTHING right now. Especially once wedding stuff will be purchased, I will be sleeping in the living room because the bedrooms will become wedding-crazy!

MnM52607 Posted: Jan 09, 2007 01:49 PM

Re: Is it tacky to...

I didn't register before my engagement party. FH and I don't live together and we have no room to store any big gifts for a year and a half. So we opted not to register before.

Shorty McBride Posted: Jan 09, 2007 01:49 PM

Re: Is it tacky to...

i didn't register - we rec'd a few gifts, but they were all things we like and will use. (Lenox, wine glasses, etc.)

snydl40 Posted: Jan 09, 2007 01:51 PM

Re: Is it tacky to...

We didn't register before our E-party and in turn, made A LOT of $$$.

Julybride08 Posted: Jan 09, 2007 01:53 PM

Re: Is it tacky to...

We registered and I think we got 2 things off our list. Most people will give money. But you can put a few things on there if people ask. Don't put the cards in the invitation though. This way people will just give money. If people ask if your registered you can let them know where then. But don't offer the info unless they ask.

Pinkiegirll07 Posted: Jan 09, 2007 02:20 PM

Re: Is it tacky to...

I did register for some stuff before my e-party, because everyone kept calling my mom to ask where we were registered because they wanted to give us a gift!
I also agree with not putting the registry card in the invite.

Chrissywish Posted: Jan 09, 2007 02:24 PM

Re: Is it tacky to...

My mother and I just had this exact conversation the other night. We came to the conclusion that I will register for a few things, because there are people who go by the rule that you give a gift at the engagement party. I know my Mother always gives a gift at engagement parties and for the most part has raised me this way also. So I will register for the people that do not like to give monetary gifts, and want to get me something I will like. Then my Mom said if people ask she will tell them that at the moment they would prefer a monetary gift because they don't live together, don't have much room to keep things, aren't sure what they want or what colors they want their house to be etc, however if they are uncomfortable with that I am registered here. This way it kind of gets the word out about that, but still gives those uncomfy with giving money an opportunity to give us something we like.

winterwhite Posted: Jan 09, 2007 02:24 PM

Re: Is it tacky to...

I didn't register until after my engagement party.

Most people hgave us stuff we definately didn't want.

The rest gave us money

One couple didn't bring anything, but actually waited until we registered and then bought us something off it

If I can do it over, I would have registered since at least you can return that stuff.

ali120206 Posted: Jan 09, 2007 02:25 PM

Re: Is it tacky to...

It's not tacky not to register but, I don't think it will stop you from getting gifts.

People who want to give gifts will do so regardless of if you are registered!

Crystan08 Posted: Jan 09, 2007 02:26 PM

Re: Is it tacky to...

Our engagment party is next month but FH and I made an agreement not to register untl after the e-party. I am soooo anxious to but we really need the money right now ( i know that sounds selfish) but my shower will come and that is when we will need things off our registery.....not yet!!!! So FH promised me that we can register the day AFTER the e-party...Lol

natseven Posted: Jan 09, 2007 02:27 PM

Re: Is it tacky to...

my SIL and my best friend both had e-parties and did not register. I don't think its bad etiquette at all.

carolinebr Posted: Jan 09, 2007 02:38 PM

Re: Is it tacky to...

Supposedly, guests are not required to give a gift at all at an e-party. I'm suprised how many of you got gifts/$$.... many of my GF didn't get either at theirs. We didn't have one, so I can't say for certain.

That being said, no, I don't think its tacky BUT I wouldn't neccesarily expect gifts or money from everyone who attends.

MayBride08 Posted: Jan 09, 2007 02:45 PM

Re: Is it tacky to...

I didn't register for my e-party and also made tons of money - way more than I ever expected and I actually kinda felt bad that people gave us so much.
I didn't register because we don't have much room for things right now and also, the wedding isn't for another year and a half and by that time, things I registered for might be out of stock, out of style,etc. etc. I just felt it was way too early to register, for me personally.
Now that I think about it, the people who asked me where I was registered are generally those who gave me gifts, and they were pretty much frames, vases, etc...

magbride Posted: Jan 09, 2007 02:46 PM

Re: Is it tacky to...

We didn't. I don't think it was tacky, though
some of the older folk looked at my mom
like she had 5 heads when she said we didn't
register.
We live together and only need (and can fit) so much
stuff and we were afraid we wouldn't have
enough left on the registry for my shower.

I'd say, 95% of our gifts were money and
the rest gift cards and a few items.
Of course, fh and I were thrilled more than
anything with the money since we're paying
for the wedding.

I think it's tacky if you straight up ask for money, but not if just don't register.

Kara and Todd Posted: Jan 09, 2007 02:48 PM

Re: Is it tacky to...

You don't have to register before your e-party, and if your wedding is far away, you probably shouldn't since patterns and items may be discontinued before your wedding.

However, just know that you'll get boxed gifts anyway even if you don't register, though maybe fewer. So if you want to get things YOU picked out, register for a few things now and save most of it for later.

jenn122397 Posted: Jan 09, 2007 02:53 PM

Re: Is it tacky to...

not at all
only a few people asked where we were registered for my e-party and i just said we are going to wait awhile to do that (plus we were engaged 2 years)

melbalalala Posted: Jan 09, 2007 02:53 PM

Re: Is it tacky to...

So if Im reading this right.. you want cash but know people will want to get something off a registry most likely.

Im sure I'll get slammed for this, but why not register at Bed, bath and beyond for some things? the worst case scenario is that you can return it for cash? That way you dont have to tackily put the word out that 'you prefer cash'... and if people get you cash, GREAT! If they ask for a registry, tell them BBB?