That i'm booking a DOC? I really want one and feel that I will need one. I told him about it and he said its a waist of money. I want to enjoy my day after all of this planning and feel that my cell phone will be ringing off the hook if i dont have help. I dont want to depend on anyone in my family becasue i want them to enjoy the day also. I made an appointment for this sunday becasue I knew my FH will be in FL. If I like her I want to book her on the spot and not tell him. I know i will hear about it later when he sees this strange woman giving orders but do you think he will really argue with me on the day of our wedding?
DWKSwed
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Re: Is it wrong not to tell my FH....
I honestly do think you should tell him. You should start out your marriage by being honest and making decisions together, and you don't want to have any negativity on your wedding day b/c he's surprised that you went behind his back after you discussed it. Plus not everyone wants a stranger being so intimately involved in your day so I would just talk to him more about it and explain why it's so important for you to have one. Plus that's a lot of money to spend without talking to him about it.
stinenandy2010
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Re: Is it wrong not to tell my FH....
If you are both contributing money to the wedding then yes you should absolutely tell him. Anything that involved FH's money and this wedding, I always tell him. Plus, I don't believe in hiding things from your significant other, it only causes problems.
JAAMS
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Re: Is it wrong not to tell my FH....
This sounds like it could be dicey.
If you're taking money from the 'wedding fund', then I would ABSOLUTELY talk to him beforehand. And I feel like if the money is coming from both of you, it should be a joint decision.
HOWEVER, if you are planning to pay for this on the side, I think you should still talk with him. But the difference here is that I feel that this would be YOUR decision then, not necessarily both of yours. (It would be nice if you could both agree on it, but if you're doing this separately, I think you can have more of the final say)
Edited to include:
I, by no means, meant that you should keep it a secret from him either way. I only meant that if it is something you would be paying for together, I think he gets more of a say than if it is something you are doing alone.
emc282rjm
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Re: Is it wrong not to tell my FH....
I definitely think you should tell him. Just say that it's something you really want. I'm thinking about this, too, and FH is just going to have to deal with it. If you decide not to tell him, he will find out anyway when there's a random person at your wedding running things lol. Better to star the marriage honestly!
Nina1010
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Re: Is it wrong not to tell my FH....
Posted by stinenandy2010
If you are both contributing money to the wedding then yes you should absolutely tell him. Anything that involved FH's money and this wedding, I always tell him. Plus, I don't believe in hiding things from your significant other, it only causes problems.
ITA...although I was used to being very independent and it was an adjustment to get used to...I run everything by FH now. Its important and I would want the same courtesy.
DnT2010
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Re: Is it wrong not to tell my FH....
Posted by stinenandy2010
If you are both contributing money to the wedding then yes you should absolutely tell him. Anything that involved FH's money and this wedding, I always tell him. Plus, I don't believe in hiding things from your significant other, it only causes problems.
completely agree100000000000 percent. no secrets here.
MarjorieFrank
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Re: Is it wrong not to tell my FH....
As tempting and easy as it may sound to do it behind his back, I think you need to definitely fill him in. That is NOT the wedding morning surprise that either of you will want!!
depoc1011
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Re: Is it wrong not to tell my FH....
Posted by MarjorieFrank
As tempting and easy as it may sound to do it behind his back, I think you need to definitely fill him in. That is NOT the wedding morning surprise that either of you will want!!
i agreee...
Relish21
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Re: Is it wrong not to tell my FH....
Just tell him you think you really need one.... but I'd be sure that you really need one before doing it!
stinenandy2010
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Re: Is it wrong not to tell my FH....
btw, at first FH had the same response as yours and now he LOVES that I have a DOC b/c I bother her with all my wedding questions and not him
lauren320
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Re: Is it wrong not to tell my FH....
ITA with everyone about keeping secrets...def. important to start out on the right foot....however i was wondering what is a DOC ( i havent gotten all this lingo down yet )
JAAMS
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Re: Is it wrong not to tell my FH....
Posted by lauren320
ITA with everyone about keeping secrets...def. important to start out on the right foot....however i was wondering what is a DOC ( i havent gotten all this lingo down yet )
Day of Coordinator Someone to help the day run smoothly pretty much, HTH!
Junebride2010
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Re: Is it wrong not to tell my FH....
You should tell him
Lsorrent
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Re: Is it wrong not to tell my FH....
I would just tell him and get it over with. He's obviously going to find out either way, so you might as well have the fight before the wedding instead of on the wedding day
RitasEngaged
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Re: Is it wrong not to tell my FH....
Posted by stinenandy2010
If you are both contributing money to the wedding then yes you should absolutely tell him. Anything that involved FH's money and this wedding, I always tell him. Plus, I don't believe in hiding things from your significant other, it only causes problems.
ITA - Even if you are paying with it with your money, unless the whole wedding is being paid by you, you must tell him
SummerBride10
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Re: Is it wrong not to tell my FH....
I think you should tell him- its his wedding too!
Jna2010
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Re: Is it wrong not to tell my FH....
maybe you should just sit him down and go over finances and show him why youd like one, where you could skimp to make up for it, etc
you dont want him pissed at you the day of once he figures it out
T E R I
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Re: Is it wrong not to tell my FH....
I am going to be the only one on the other side, FH has no idea that I booked a DOC, its not that I am completely hiding it from him, its just that I know he will say its totally not needed and I disagree. Plus FH has no idea what is booked for the wedding, I am taking care of everything wedding related.
MC127
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Re: Is it wrong not to tell my FH....
I was actually afraid to tell FH that we need a DOC. He said 'no'. I convinced him by telling him that we want to have fun on our day and that I don't know who goes where during the ceremony. I also told him the responsibilities of the DOC and they he said 'OK.' Even after second guessing whether I really need one, he kept reminding me of her responsibilities.
So yes, tell him. Go to the appointments and bring back materials and show him what they can do.
