Is it wrong that I have no interest in having sex with FH?

Original post by CubanBride

Mar 03, 2005 05:47 PM

I lost all interst in sex, and it's mainly due to the fact that I had to do all the work and FH just lies there (if ya get my drift). I would like to lie there every once in a while, but Fh doesn't feel comfortable doing the work.

So we have not had sex in like 2 months or somethnig and I am not bothered by that at all.

Jamie&MarkSept.'05 Posted: Mar 03, 2005 11:16 PM

Re: Is it wrong that I have no interest in having sex with FH?

I don't think it is unusual at all...stresses in life can get to you and make interest something that falls by the wayside...

Latrice Posted: Mar 03, 2005 11:21 PM

Re: Is it wrong that I have no interest in having sex with FH?

I dont want to seem like the bad one here. And please do not take any offense to my comment. However, I recall a few weeks ago you commented about you and FH and his outbursts or negative attention he was displaying. I recall you were going to speak with him about your discomfort. I am not sure of the outcome. But now I read this post about your loss of interest in sex.

I am concerned that there are some serious issues in your relationship that need to be addressed before you take your vows. It seems that there is some major denial in a lot of areas. Again, I dont know the full story. I only know what you post. So it's JMO based on the info given!

Katherine121 Posted: Mar 03, 2005 11:40 PM

Re: Is it wrong that I have no interest in having sex with FH?

Posted by Latrice

I dont want to seem like the bad one here. And please do not take any offense to my comment. However, I recall a few weeks ago you commented about you and FH and his outbursts or negative attention he was displaying. I recall you were going to speak with him about your discomfort. I am not sure of the outcome. But now I read this post about your loss of interest in sex.

I am concerned that there are some serious issues in your relationship that need to be addressed before you take your vows. It seems that there is some major denial in a lot of areas. Again, I dont know the full story. I only know what you post. So it's JMO based on the info given!

I could not have said this better. CB, based on your posts, there are some major issues in your relationship that need to be resolved before you marry this gentleman. Whatever the outcome, I wish you the best.

junebride! Posted: Mar 03, 2005 11:53 PM

Re: Is it wrong that I have no interest in having sex with FH?

I agree that there may be something going on tht's more than 'just' sex...like was said earlier, sex is really a reflection of what happens during the day..

jbride2b Posted: Mar 04, 2005 01:09 AM

Re: Is it wrong that I have no interest in having sex with FH?

Are you going through anything really stressful in your life (like wedding planning)?

When you're really really stressed, you lose all interest.
It's great that you enjoy being together w/out it, but 2 months is a long time.

I suggest you reignite it - spend a romantic night together (read some books or watch a movie where the guy is more active). A couple of nights like that and it'll be as if you just started dating.

CubanBride Posted: Mar 04, 2005 08:26 AM

Re: Is it wrong that I have no interest in having sex with FH?

Thanks ladies for yours posts. Alll previous issues have been resolved however, so luckily that is not the issue.

I was thinking about it last night and I realized that I am tired and stressed.

I am stressed about work because this new position that I have been thrown into s not somehnig I want to do and after the wedding I plan on finding a new position within my company. But my boss doesn't know that and we are in the middle f a major project and I know that the peopel I work with will not be happy that I will be leaving.

Also, a big thing that has changed is that FH and I have gained a LOT of weight the past 8 months or so. And I am really unhappy with the way I look. I think about it constantly and its just a big problem for me. I don't have the energy I used to have, I don't look good at all, and I feel very negatively about it. I have a difficult time finding clothes that look good. I am totally not feeling sex anymore. We used to eat better awnd excersize, but now, I guess we've gotten so comfortable that we don't take care of ourselves anymore. I have struggled with my weight most of my life bt I have NEVER been as big as I have been now. Ick!

OMG, this post turned out a lot longer that I had planned. LOL!

jennandrob Posted: Mar 04, 2005 09:22 AM

Re: Is it wrong that I have no interest in having sex with FH?

Well based on your very honest reply, I can see how you may not be 'feeling' it. Sex has a lot to do with how you feel about yourself, and you preceive the way your body looks. Therefore, it's complete;y natural for you to feel this way.

adioguardi Posted: Mar 04, 2005 09:38 AM

Re: Is it wrong that I have no interest in having sex with FH?

Posted by CubanBride

Yeah, I guess. You see what I'm saying. I just have lost the need for it. Maybe something is wrong with me.

I don't think there's anything wrong with you - stress and exhaustion are the culprits here. Take a break (Iknow that's easier said than done), talk to FH, delegate some wedding tasks to him.

MrsA814 Posted: Mar 04, 2005 09:53 AM

Re: Is it wrong that I have no interest in having sex with FH?

i lost alittle interest to. Cause i don't like the way i look i gained alot of weight to i don't like they way i look at all. I wish i didn't at all. I miss the way i used to be. I like it once a week but i know it can't be like that. But my fh when he wants it i give it to him he is the one that wants it all the time and i used to be like that but i'm not like that anymore.I know half of it is to when i get home from work i just eat dinner and go to bed cause i'm tired.
But i should not do that i should be the one to that wants it. I have to start to get movited.

Ladybug63 Posted: Mar 04, 2005 10:26 AM

Re: Is it wrong that I have no interest in having sex with FH?

I can definitely relate to the gained weight thing and not feeling comfortable. I find when I'm skinny and in shape I feel great and we have sex more. If I'm feeling overweight I feel gross and our sex life suffers.
Because of our schedules we only have sex like 3 times a month. It's just not a 'priority' for us. I don't think your weird I think it's stress, emotions about your appearance etc.

That said I would march myself to the nearest Pleasure Palace and purchase myself the rabbit!!!! That thing is great!!!!!

Soon2BMrsWilliams Posted: Mar 04, 2005 10:30 AM

Re: Is it wrong that I have no interest in having sex with FH?

Stress is a big cause of sexual decreases. Maybe you are just so stressed out on top of the fact that you do all the work. You should definitely talk with your FH about this.

akaMrsT Posted: Mar 04, 2005 06:40 PM

Re: Is it wrong that I have no interest in having sex with FH?

Posted by CubanBride

Thanks ladies for yours posts. Alll previous issues have been resolved however, so luckily that is not the issue.

I was thinking about it last night and I realized that I am tired and stressed.

I am stressed about work because this new position that I have been thrown into s not somehnig I want to do and after the wedding I plan on finding a new position within my company. But my boss doesn't know that and we are in the middle f a major project and I know that the peopel I work with will not be happy that I will be leaving.

Also, a big thing that has changed is that FH and I have gained a LOT of weight the past 8 months or so. And I am really unhappy with the way I look. I think about it constantly and its just a big problem for me. I don't have the energy I used to have, I don't look good at all, and I feel very negatively about it. I have a difficult time finding clothes that look good. I am totally not feeling sex anymore. We used to eat better awnd excersize, but now, I guess we've gotten so comfortable that we don't take care of ourselves anymore. I have struggled with my weight most of my life bt I have NEVER been as big as I have been now. Ick!

OMG, this post turned out a lot longer that I had planned. LOL!

That makes total sense. Even if the weight does not bother Gary, if it bothers you then that is a problem.

Now that you mention it, I recall your problems with your dress being too small (but ultimately being fixed) since you planned to lose weight by the wedding. It's not to late to hit the gym, assuming you have the time or inclination with the wedding planning and the new job?

Working out always makes me feel better.

tiffandmatt Posted: Mar 08, 2005 11:18 PM

Is anyone waiting?

Hi, everyone! This is my first post. My Matt and I just got engaged in January. Honestly, I can't really say that I have too much advice to give on this topic. My FH and I are waiting to have sex for the first time on our wedding night. (It was a decision I've always had, he had to get used to the idea LOL!). But my opinion is that you really should talk to your FH, chances are that you loosing interest is due to the fact that with your wedding getting closer you're just too stressed out. But on the off chance that it's not, it would be important to make sure that you will get that feeling back, instead of going through with your marriage and then realizing when it's too late that you have no interest in it.
I just wanted to know if there are any brides out there who are waiting till their wedding night to have sex for the first time? I kind of feel as if I'm the only girl out there or like I'm stuck in the 40's or something. The anticapation is killing me, but I'm gonna go through with this! I think it's going to make it that much more amazing. And with my way I'm sure my interest is only going to get more and more. What do you girls think?
Sorry this is such a long post. But please tell me what you think. Thanks!

akaMrsT Posted: Mar 08, 2005 11:25 PM

Re: Is it wrong that I have no interest in having sex with FH?

Posted by tiffandmatt

Hi, everyone! This is my first post. My Matt and I just got engaged in January. Honestly, I can't really say that I have too much advice to give on this topic. My FH and I are waiting to have sex for the first time on our wedding night. (It was a decision I've always had, he had to get used to the idea LOL!). But my opinion is that you really should talk to your FH, chances are that you loosing interest is due to the fact that with your wedding getting closer you're just too stressed out. But on the off chance that it's not, it would be important to make sure that you will get that feeling back, instead of going through with your marriage and then realizing when it's too late that you have no interest in it.
I just wanted to know if there are any brides out there who are waiting till their wedding night to have sex for the first time? I kind of feel as if I'm the only girl out there or like I'm stuck in the 40's or something. The anticapation is killing me, but I'm gonna go through with this! I think it's going to make it that much more amazing. And with my way I'm sure my interest is only going to get more and more. What do you girls think?
Sorry this is such a long post. But please tell me what you think. Thanks!

I know of a couple of women who are waiting until the wedding night - and they are in their 30's. You are not the only one.

BethGail Posted: Mar 08, 2005 11:31 PM

Re: Is it wrong that I have no interest in having sex with FH?

Posted by mushsgrl

I have lost interest a bit too, but I am affraid to get pregnant. And i also feel so over worked with the wedding and work and all the drama.

i felt the same way as mushsgirl....for a little while...i jsut was really afraid to get pregnant (i have been on the pill forever and was never afraid before.....) but it ALL CHANGED on teh HM

MissusJones Posted: Mar 11, 2005 11:02 PM

Re: Is it wrong that I have no interest in having sex with FH?

Posted by Katherine121

Posted by Latrice

I dont want to seem like the bad one here. And please do not take any offense to my comment. However, I recall a few weeks ago you commented about you and FH and his outbursts or negative attention he was displaying. I recall you were going to speak with him about your discomfort. I am not sure of the outcome. But now I read this post about your loss of interest in sex.

I am concerned that there are some serious issues in your relationship that need to be addressed before you take your vows. It seems that there is some major denial in a lot of areas. Again, I dont know the full story. I only know what you post. So it's JMO based on the info given!

Ditto!