Brides Helping Brides ™ - Is it wrong to want to be the center of attention at your wedding? – Page 2

allure Posted: Aug 15, 2004 09:42 PM

Re: Is it wrong to want to be the center of attention at your wedding?

Well with that said I will respect your feelings & just voice my honest opinion

philby Posted: Aug 15, 2004 09:45 PM

Re: Is it wrong to want to be the center of attention at your wedding?

This is YOUR wedding and you will be the center of attention in the big picture, there is no doubt about that. As far as the two month old goes I would not have the child there. This is not about shallowness as one uninformed poster replied but an issue of age. This is purely a matter of opinion so do not interpret it the wrong way but that is just too young to be in attendance.

soon2bmrs2004 Posted: Aug 15, 2004 09:48 PM

Re: Is it wrong to want to be the center of attention at your wedding?

Posted by suven

No, you are not wrong.

But, based on my own wedding, as well as everyone I know, you will ALWAYS have SOMEONE who tries to upstage you.

Stand firm, and say, 'I am sorry, but we are unable to have babies at the wedding. Unfortunately, exceptions cannot be made.'

I agree. There is always someone who tries to upstage the bride and groom.

janwinterbridejoy Posted: Aug 15, 2004 09:49 PM

Re: Is it wrong to want to be the center of attention at your wedding?

my cousin brought her 1 year old baby to my wedding even though it was quite clear to EVERYONE that i wasnt inviting children. my own nephews and dh younger newphews were not invited because i wanted an adult party. i too think my cousin had other motives for bringing her child. but in the end it didnt take any focus off me it was still mine and anthonys day. i actually didnt even really notice and a lot of other people didnt either. i think that if you dont want children they shouldnt be there. in my opinion a child that small unless it is the child of the couple marrying shouldnt be at a wedding reception where there will be drinking and loud music.

allure Posted: Aug 15, 2004 09:53 PM

Re: Is it wrong to want to be the center of attention at your wedding?

I think most of you ladies will change your minds once you become mother's

allure Posted: Aug 15, 2004 09:54 PM

Re: Is it wrong to want to be the center of attention at your wedding?

Also if someone is trying to upstage your wedding that is there problem and you will most likely not even see it or know about it

janwinterbridejoy Posted: Aug 15, 2004 09:58 PM

Re: Is it wrong to want to be the center of attention at your wedding?

Posted by allure

I think most of you ladies will change your minds once you become mother's

my sister is the mother of a very active 3 year old and a 5 year old girl going on 15 and she looked forward to adult parties where she can leave the kids behind and have a great night out with just the grown ups.

allure Posted: Aug 15, 2004 09:59 PM

Re: Is it wrong to want to be the center of attention at your wedding?

Thats her choice but I am sure every Mother doesn't feel the same way

jannshari Posted: Aug 15, 2004 10:00 PM

Re: Is it wrong to want to be the center of attention at your wedding?

Posted by nov04LIbride

Her two other kids are 10 and 13. We were going to let them come before we found out she would have a baby too because they would be driving 8 hours.

I don't understand this at all. Because she wants to bring her newborn child, you won't let her bring her other two children either?

You got a lot of responses the first time you posted about this issue. I think you need to get over it. Do what you want to do, but there's a reason why it's bothering you to tell her not to bring the baby. If it's a personal family issue and you can't get into more details to explain it, fine, but don't keep posting about it because you'll get responses based only on the information that you put out there.

I think you're being a little silly, but that's my opinion. Do you really need everyone's attention every second of your wedding? Why is it that you think that a sleeping baby (and this baby WILL most likely be sleeping), will take away from your day? It's your wedding...it's not a recital. You won't notice who is and isn't paying attention to you...at least not if you are spending the day with your husband, loving each other and having a good time. If you are focused on who isn't paying attention to you, then you're doing it all wrong.

My opinion only. You'll find a lot of people who agree with you, and really, isn't that all you're really looking for?

allure Posted: Aug 15, 2004 10:03 PM

Re: Is it wrong to want to be the center of attention at your wedding?

Well said Jannshari
By the way Fm

newbie Posted: Aug 15, 2004 10:37 PM

Re: Is it wrong to want to be the center of attention at your wedding?

I think that it's very difficult to leave a 2-month-old with a babysitter for the entire day.

As for attention, you are the bride and will get plenty of that. After ooh-ing and aah-ing over the baby for a few minutes, most people will go back to enjoying the wedding and let the baby sleep. Most people will not spend five hours hovering over a newborn.

I was at a wedding last year where there was a newborn present and that's exactly what happened.

EvenEdan Posted: Aug 15, 2004 11:10 PM

Re: Is it wrong to want to be the center of attention at your wedding?

Obviously you are entitled to your feelings, but from my point of view you sound childish and unreasonable. If I was the mother of that baby and you told me that you didn't want me to bring her/him to your wedding partly because you were afraid the baby would steal your attention, I would be at a complete loss for words. I can't even begin to understand how a grown woman with any confidence in herself could feel that way or waste a second of her life worrying about something so pathetic. I really would let this go and not make an issue of it.

ckgmwedding Posted: Aug 15, 2004 11:17 PM

Re: Is it wrong to want to be the center of attention at your wedding?

I don't think you are being a baby- its a small wedding and a lot of the focus will be on that baby. Add to that the crying that could happen all day long, with some babies. I know that sounds mean but it doesn't sound like a child-friendly party. Two months is really young though and I think the mom might not be up to going. Just a thought!

Monkeybride Posted: Aug 16, 2004 12:07 AM

Re: Is it wrong to want to be the center of attention at your wedding?

Posted by allure

I think most of you ladies will change your minds once you become mother's

I am not a mother yet but I can assure you that I will have no desire to drag my infant to a wedding, especially a formal night time wedding!! What is the point really. It's inconvenient for everyone.

I have a whole opinion on children in inappropriate places but that's another debate entirely.

That being said we have some children at our wedding but none less than one. I am not thrilled about it but my FH's nephew who is 3 is in the wedding and his family always includes immediate family children. I am not worried about attention being off me but I understand now Novbride feels and I think the cousing has other intentions of 'showing off' her baby at your event.

JMO

june262004 Posted: Aug 16, 2004 12:47 AM

Re: Is it wrong to want to be the center of attention at your wedding?

I really have no comments except why would anyone want to even bring a 2 month old to a wedding with loud music?

Wintersbride Posted: Aug 16, 2004 01:52 AM

Re: Is it wrong to want to be the center of attention at your wedding?

Just my opinion...I don't think it is appropriate to have a baby (especially one that young) at a wedding. There is not need for it. I love children, don't get me wrong. The older kids are one thing, but the parent should realize that a wedding is not really the place for a baby. It is not fair to the child. I personally would not want a crying infant at my wedding. I don't think the baby will rest very peacefully w/ music and loud chatter.
I don't think you are being childish. There is a time and a place for everything, and a wedding is not the place for the first viewing of a newborn.

shelly3950 Posted: Aug 16, 2004 04:49 AM

Re: Is it wrong to want to be the center of attention at your wedding?

I am in the EXACT same situation. My cousin wants to bring their newborn who no one in the family has seen to my wedding. They are flying up from Florida to come to my wedding so there isn't much I can say. I am more worried about crying at the ceremony than being upstaged.

But as far as upstaging you- that will not happen. I got engaged right before my sister's wedding so I definitely got some attention that day- but it didn't take away frmo my sister at all. Its not like after the ceremony everyone can pay attention to you all at once. People will pay attention to you no matter what. When people will be paying attention to the baby, other people will be paying attention to you.

I think that not wanting a baby at your wedding because you will be upstaged is just silly. Its your wedding- no one will upstage you. The only thing that may happen is that you may get 90% of the attention some of the time.

A wedding is a gathering of people- even if there wasn't a baby- people will have information they will share and other people will get attention- you can't expect everyone to focus on you 100% of the time!! Its just not normal. People will mingle and talk to one another. No matter what- you are the bride.

butterfly20 Posted: Aug 16, 2004 06:50 AM

Re: Is it wrong to want to be the center of attention at your wedding?

Posted by june262004

I really have no comments except why would anyone want to even bring a 2 month old to a wedding with loud music?

that was my comment too.......
that music CANT be good for a young babies ears....and they are suppose to just SLEEP through 5 hours of loud music allure?

cluelessbride Posted: Aug 16, 2004 07:55 AM

Re: Is it wrong to want to be the center of attention at your wedding?

If you already invited her other children, I don't see how you can not invite her baby.

I don't think it's 'wrong' to want to be the center of attention, but it is unrealistic.

Yes, the bride and groom are the main focus, but weddings are also a time when family and friends who maybe haven't seen each other lately will want to talk to one another and not focus on the bride and groom every minute.

Like someone else said, it's not a recital. You can't expect to be focused on like a show.

eroxgirl Posted: Aug 16, 2004 08:14 AM

Re: Is it wrong to want to be the center of attention at your wedding?

As someone who did not want children at the wedding, but had to have them anyway - including one as young as 3, family hadn't met before and stunningly beautiful (if I do say so myself ) NO ONE takes attention away from the bride. NO ONE (although that wasn't a concern for me, even though I had people at my wedding who are known 'attention-hogs'). Especially not a baby. Alterior motives or not, it just doesn't happen. All these things you care about now just don't matter on that day. You won't even notice. If and when the baby starts crying - tell the mother, or have someone else tell the mother to take him/her outside. The surrounding adults won't want to listen to a crying baby, especially if they're drinking.

The woman who shows up in the inappropriate, overly revealing or flashy outfit gets more attention than any child at any wedding (and not in a good way, either).