Is it wrong to want to be the center of attention at your wedding?

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Posted by butterfly20

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Posted by june262004

I really have no comments except why would anyone want to even bring a 2 month old to a wedding with loud music?

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that was my comment too.......
that music CANT be good for a young babies ears....and they are suppose to just SLEEP through 5 hours of loud music allure?

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My best friend's 6 week old daughter was at my wedding. First of all, she didn't place her anywhere near the speakers, and if I thought there would be a chance of that, I would have rearranged the tables. The music at a wedding is not concert level, and I would think that any mother concerned about it, would take their child out of the room. My friend breastfed her daughter and made herself scarce when she needed to.

My father spent half the day oogling her baby and carrying her around (she was an extremely well-behaved baby). I wasn't the least bit concerned about her stealing my thunder. I didn't even notice, to tell you the truth.

But the question isn't whether it's a safe place for a baby or whether the mother would be comfortable having a 2-month old with her. The question is whether it's unreasonable to want to be the center of attention. No, it's not, and every bride wants to be the center of attention on HER wedding day. However, this goes beyond that, and, in my opinion, a lot of energy is being wasted on this issue.

To the original poster...if you don't want these people at your wedding, don't invite them. If you have to invite them, understand that they live far away and get over whatever it is that is driving this attention-stealing issue and let them bring their children. Or, you can just wait until the RSVP's come back and see if they decide to even go before getting yourself all worked up about this.

Just a few more thoughts:

No, I'm not a mom, but I was told by other moms that new babies are not supposed to 'go out in public' until they are at least 10 weeks old. They were given this information by their pediatricians.

Also, sorry, but it IS possible for the bride and groom to be upstaged at a wedding. Yes, there will always be people saying hello to you.

but, when you see your photos video, you will also see crowds of people hovering somewhere else. You will also see the bride and the groom walking around their reception, but a bunch of other people not noticing them because they are focused on something else.

of course, people have the right to focus on something other than the bride and groom, but when you look at your photos and video and see that people were continuously focusing on the SAME something else, it may be upsetting.

I'm not a mom, but I know that I will not be bringing my children to weddings. My cousins don't do it. My dh's cousins don't do it. Just my opinion...

IMO...weddings are not a place for babies..
And i asked my BM who has a newborn and a 2 year oldwhat she thought
about this topic and she said she would NEVER bring her newborn to the wedidng

You will be the center of attention no matter what - i think your concern about a little baby being there is a bit childish. Weddings are suppose to be joyous occasins where everyone see each other, mingles and celebrates the union of 2 people. No matter what or who is there - people will become each other's center of attention because weddings are reunions and people don't see each other for a long time......You will have your moment in the spotlight - just enjoy it with your family and husband - don't worry about a little newborn taking that away from you.

I believe in the comment made - that you will change once you become a mother.....

Leave that decision of taking the baby up to the mother - if the baby is really small - she probably will decide not to bring him/her - or leave the party early - If I were you, I wouldn't say a thing and enjoy your day.....

I think you also need to think about these people who will be travelling 8 hours to celebrate with you....that's a long ways to travel for someone.....
are they going to leave their child at home and be 8 hours away?
are they going to be able to get a babysitter while at the wedding?
are you going to provide them with a sitter so they dont' have to worry about that?
this is a 2 month child.....it seems a little unfair to expect them to hand off their child just because you don't want to lose the attention (which is how you worded it)
there is obviously more to the story than you are saying here, so it seems unreasonable to ask us for opinions on a situation we don't know everything about.
JMO

I know the whole story and there is more to story than what she can post.

It really is a difficult situation for her.

I feel bad for her because, honestly, she shouldn't be dealing with this situation. Her FI and his family should be dealing with the situation.

And I think the reason why she is posting (even though it is not the whole story) is to have some support from us.

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Posted by eroxgirl

As someone who did not want children at the wedding, but had to have them anyway - including one as young as 3, family hadn't met before and stunningly beautiful (if I do say so myself ) NO ONE takes attention away from the bride. NO ONE (although that wasn't a concern for me, even though I had people at my wedding who are known 'attention-hogs'). Especially not a baby. Alterior motives or not, it just doesn't happen. All these things you care about now just don't matter on that day. You won't even notice. If and when the baby starts crying - tell the mother, or have someone else tell the mother to take him/her outside. The surrounding adults won't want to listen to a crying baby, especially if they're drinking.

The woman who shows up in the inappropriate, overly revealing or flashy outfit gets more attention than any child at any wedding (and not in a good way, either).

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LOL, as a person who was AT Eroxgirl's wedding, I can tell you that I didn't notice any 3 year olds there, and I did notice the woman in the flashy, overly revealing outfit. So how's that for proof?

I don't think she's being childish though, it IS her day. I'm sure that she has her reasons. And of all days, she should be the star on her wedding day. I wouldn't want a 2 month old at my wedding either (mainly for crying reasons). However, my 5 month old cousin (or at least she was 5 months old at the time) was brought to my Senior Recital in college, and while she did steal a bit of spotlight, I was still THE Star. She didn't cry during the recital either - even my Voice Teacher was impressed. She's almost 3 now and she'll be at the wedding (she's a first cousin, so I wasn't going to dis-invite her, even though she can be a holy terror. I think she'll be okay though).

So I guess what I'm trying to say is, even with a 2 month old, sleeping or no (and it's quite possible she won't sleep, let's just hope her mother has the sense to take her out if she's crying), You Will Still Be the Star of Your Day. I promise. Don't disinvite the baby or her family - you won't lose any thunder. Good luck!

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Posted by june262004

I really have no comments except why would anyone want to even bring a 2 month old to a wedding with loud music?

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I completely agree!!

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Posted by allure

I think most of you ladies will change your minds once you become mother's

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I am not a mother, but I am certain that I would not subject a 2 month old to a loud 8 piece band and a formal night wedding. I foresee myself as a protective mother, who frankly wouldn't even want to expose the baby to that many people and germs at that young an age.

I edited my posts to let this issue die, but I did feel that I made it clear that it was not the baby that would steal attention, but rather the situation involving this guest, the baby, and FH's family. I pointed out that I couldn't go into any details, and I did not take offense to anyone's responses. I do feel that regardless of the situation the bride should have a choice in whether babies attend. Clearly it is a divisive issue--and it seems that those who have children are very defensive about having children attend. Ask me in 10 years and perhaps my views will be different.