I am upset because my junior bridesmaid (she is 12) dyed her hair first purple, than green, now she dyed is black (as of yesterday) , and she had my fmil cut it herself so short and its all uneven. Our wedding is less than 2 months away. I don't want to say anything but she was telling me yesterday that she wants to go back and have purple streaks put in. Is it brideszilla of me to say no, or to at least say I don't want her to do it. I doubt she will listen anyways.
christine2010
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Re: is this brideszilla?
how do you know this girl?
MnM182008
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she is my fh youngest sister.
DnT2010
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if this was my junior bridesmaid i would tell her to leave it normal but i can do that because we have that kind of relationship with each other... i guess it depends on your relationship.
christine2010
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Posted by MnM182008
she is my fh youngest sister.
if she has a good relationship with your FH, he should say something to her about it. he should explain to her that its very important to him & you that she looks presentible at your wedding. if he doesn't like that idea maybe talk to your FMIL. i can't imagine her wanting her daughter to look crazy in her sons wedding.
111508Bride
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Posted by MnM182008
I am upset because my junior bridesmaid (she is 12) dyed her hair first purple, than green, now she dyed is black (as of yesterday) , and she had my fmil cut it herself so short and its all uneven. Our wedding is less than 2 months away. I don't want to say anything but she was telling me yesterday that she wants to go back and have purple streaks put in. Is it brideszilla of me to say no, or to at least say I don't want her to do it. I doubt she will listen anyways.
I think I am still stuck on the fact that a 12 year-old is dying her hair....
ETA: Yes, I would not be happy, but maybe by the time your wedding rolls around, she will be sick of the purple?
MnM182008
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That is just it, she is 12 going on 15. She has been very difficult for us. My FMIL let her do whatever she wants. I think her and my fmil did it to get me upset. I just don't know if I should say something. I don't want to start a fight. My FH told her a couple of times to stop dying her hair so has my other fsil. She doesn't listen to anyone.
KittyGags
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LOL!! I would tell her to stop it or to find another wedding to be in...
I mean a brunette going blonde, FINE, but purple?
KiTTeN0819
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Just ask her nicely if she can keep her hair black until January. At lease black is a normal color. Could you threaten that she will be kicked out of the bridal party or do you think she wont care?
jaep129
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I would tell her to do it after the wedding. Our flower girl is 4.5 and she cut her own hair about 2 months before the wedding (she cut a good 6 inches off). She looked so cute before. Her mom didnt want to cut it b/c then it will be even shorter but it was so uneven it looked like a mullet. I took her myself. You have to remember that she will be in your weddings pictures. Tell her no way!
MnM182008
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Yesterday I tried talking to her. Telling her I thought her hair was beautiful and that I thought she should just leave it dark till after the wedding. Her natural color is platinum blonde. She told me I was boring. I think I might have to call my FMIL (who won't side with me) but I don't want her hair purple, and I want her to try to get a hair cut. Her hair is like a mullet, she cut huge chunks into her bangs, long pieces in the back, its a huge mess, you can see her scalp in some parts as well.
eoconnell09
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Re: is this brideszilla?
No....it is definitely not bridezilla of you to want your BMs to look their best....clearly purple hair is not the best option for a wedding....it is perfectly reasonable to want everyone in the standard, blonde, brown red or black hair color....
Years down the road she will thank you. When you pull our pictures of her with purple hair in a fancy dress 15 years down the road, she will be like what was I thinking!
Best of luck!
Its2Snappy
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Re: is this brideszilla?
I think it's okay to go a little bridezilla. I would just tell her that it has to be a normal cut and color, or she can't be in the bridal party. It sounds mean, but it is your pictures.
lizzie217
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Well the thing is she is 12 so I personally don't think she should be dying her hair bc it's soo damaging by 30 -she'll be bald! lol
-However I think since she is so young it's her mom's place to tell her not to -not yours...this is of course JMO
KSquared
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I think sometimes we forget that our wedding is the center of our world, but not everyone elses. In my opinion you can't ask people to plan things - hairstyles or otherwise - around your wedding. It's not really your place to tell her how to style her hair, however, it is your place to not include her in all your pictures if it really bothers you that much.
It seems that maybe she needs a little more guidance in her life...12 is a little young for all this hair coloring, but I work with 12 year olds and it is very common.
RadiantBride
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Re: is this brideszilla?
I would wait until its closer to the wedding and tell her then. If you tell her now who know what color she might come up. Why would her mom cut her hair so short and uneven??? In two months it should grow out (hopefully). Offer to pay for her hair for the wedding and then you can have your stylist do whatever you want if worse comes to worse.
debzy
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I'd talk to her w/o being accusatory. Let her know your wishes.
But remember, while she will be in your wedidng, it is still her hair. And she's only 12 so be gentle!
eoconnell09
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I do agree that no matter how you approach this, you should tread very gently! 12 is a very important age for self-esteem and self-worth. i hope it all works out for you...
What color are your dresses and flowers???
mokie74m
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Re: is this brideszilla?
Maybe you could just tell her that you would appreciate it if she could just wait the 2 months till after your wedding before she dyes her hair anymore colors. Explain to her how important your day is to and how the pictures are going to be around forever. If she doesn't care then I would say go to your FMIL and see what she can do. What it be a huge problem with the FIL's if you took her out of the wedding if she didn't comply?
MnM182008
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I talked to her yesterday. I told her how beautiful I thought her hair was and how I think she should try to color it less often because it wasn't healthy for her. She told me I was boring. I love her, I've known her since she was 5. There isn't much my FH and I can do because they live in another state. My fmil won't guide her or discipline her no matter what we say. I just don't want purple hair. I feel like letting her have purple or green hair is a slap in my face because they know I will be upset. I think I am going to call my fmil and just tell her how I feel. I just don't want to hurt any feelings or start any fights.
