So the pastor marrying us is my childhood pastor. And we had her come down to Philly yesterday for our mandatory pre-marital counseling session. So it went pretty well and FH and I agreed on pretty much everything,
Then today, she IM's me...and we are on pretty friendly terms because I've known her for a long time. But there are just some things that you don't share with your church pastor. So she starts by saying that she wants to ask me a personal question.
And i'm already like, uh oh. And then she does it....she asks if we are doing the dirty deed. And then quotes the Bible passage saying that we're not supposed to. I was like OMG. And obviously, since we live together, she pretty much knows the answer, but I guess she just wanted to confirm her fears. But it was SO awkward. And she said she wasn't judging us, but starting saying things like, 'oh, it's between you and God'....'i didn't expect to see you guys living together since I'm idealistic and expect the best of everyone'. (oh yeah, tact is not her strong suit).
I'm just wondering if other people got asked that during their pre-marital/pre-cana sessions...or if I was asked that because she knew me and was just curious. Like if I were a total stranger, would she still ask me that question. I kind of feel violated now hahahaha.
bemyyoko
Posted:
Member since
Re: Is this normal?
Posted by lwny427
Posted by bemyyoko
Posted by jenlen
Posted by bemyyoko
i was told to move out of my home b/c i'm living in sin whether i'm doing the deed or not.
WHAT?! well, we were asked to not do the deed until the wedding....hahahaa.
yea...the priest even went so far as to say most brides put their parents' address down instead... so i asked him if i was supposed to lie to him, and he replied with 'I'm not saying that, but if you had, this would have been easier'
That priest did not approve our marriage and we went to another Parish. The priest at OUR parish is marrying us, and found our honesty refreshing.
GET OUT!!!! They can do that?!?!?!
Oh sure they can! They can say no for whatever reason they want too. It's insane. To make it worse... I am the reason there are female alter servers in the Diocese of Rockville Center. I started and ran the Parish coat drive, and canned food drive, I taught religious education for over 5 years and volunteered with that Parish in general since I was in 2nd grade.
They totally screwed me. I cried for WEEKS. I always dreamed of walking down that aisle.
lwny427
Posted:
Member since
Re: Is this normal?
Posted by bemyyoko
Posted by lwny427
Posted by bemyyoko
Posted by jenlen
Posted by bemyyoko
i was told to move out of my home b/c i'm living in sin whether i'm doing the deed or not.
WHAT?! well, we were asked to not do the deed until the wedding....hahahaa.
yea...the priest even went so far as to say most brides put their parents' address down instead... so i asked him if i was supposed to lie to him, and he replied with 'I'm not saying that, but if you had, this would have been easier'
That priest did not approve our marriage and we went to another Parish. The priest at OUR parish is marrying us, and found our honesty refreshing.
GET OUT!!!! They can do that?!?!?!
Oh sure they can! They can say no for whatever reason they want too. It's insane. To make it worse... I am the reason there are female alter servers in the Diocese of Rockville Center. I started and ran the Parish coat drive, and canned food drive, I taught religious education for over 5 years and volunteered with that Parish in general since I was in 2nd grade.
They totally screwed me. I cried for WEEKS. I always dreamed of walking down that aisle.
That is awful.
Wow. Now I am completely freaked out. Our wedding is in 4 months and we are doing precana in january. What if they don't approve us?
bemyyoko
Posted:
Member since
Re: Is this normal?
Posted by lwny427
Posted by bemyyoko
Posted by lwny427
Posted by bemyyoko
Posted by jenlen
Posted by bemyyoko
i was told to move out of my home b/c i'm living in sin whether i'm doing the deed or not.
WHAT?! well, we were asked to not do the deed until the wedding....hahahaa.
yea...the priest even went so far as to say most brides put their parents' address down instead... so i asked him if i was supposed to lie to him, and he replied with 'I'm not saying that, but if you had, this would have been easier'
That priest did not approve our marriage and we went to another Parish. The priest at OUR parish is marrying us, and found our honesty refreshing.
GET OUT!!!! They can do that?!?!?!
Oh sure they can! They can say no for whatever reason they want too. It's insane. To make it worse... I am the reason there are female alter servers in the Diocese of Rockville Center. I started and ran the Parish coat drive, and canned food drive, I taught religious education for over 5 years and volunteered with that Parish in general since I was in 2nd grade.
They totally screwed me. I cried for WEEKS. I always dreamed of walking down that aisle.
That is awful.
Wow. Now I am completely freaked out. Our wedding is in 4 months and we are doing precana in january. What if they don't approve us?
if you are already approved for Pre-Cana you are approved. At least that's what I was told.
jenlen
Posted:
Member since
Re: Is this normal?
The thing is, i don't know if she asked, just out of her own curiosity because she knows me, or if it's a routine question she asks all couples. It's one thing if it's part of her routine...but then why didn't she just ask me during the session. Why wait until a day later? She said she was shocked to find out we were living together. But we even put our names and address as the RSVP return address...so it's not like we tried to hide it.
I'm going snoop around and ask another church couple if they got asked that (they lived together before they got married too).
bluegreen08
Posted:
Member since
Re: Is this normal?
Posted by bemyyoko
Posted by lwny427
Posted by bemyyoko
Posted by jenlen
Posted by bemyyoko
i was told to move out of my home b/c i'm living in sin whether i'm doing the deed or not.
WHAT?! well, we were asked to not do the deed until the wedding....hahahaa.
yea...the priest even went so far as to say most brides put their parents' address down instead... so i asked him if i was supposed to lie to him, and he replied with 'I'm not saying that, but if you had, this would have been easier'
That priest did not approve our marriage and we went to another Parish. The priest at OUR parish is marrying us, and found our honesty refreshing.
GET OUT!!!! They can do that?!?!?!
Oh sure they can! They can say no for whatever reason they want too. It's insane. To make it worse... I am the reason there are female alter servers in the Diocese of Rockville Center. I started and ran the Parish coat drive, and canned food drive, I taught religious education for over 5 years and volunteered with that Parish in general since I was in 2nd grade.
They totally screwed me. I cried for WEEKS. I always dreamed of walking down that aisle.
I shouldn't be posting here since I'm Jewish... but... sometimes ... religious institutions... do things that are just plain ridiculous IMO...
bemyyoko
Posted:
Member since
Re: Is this normal?
Posted by bluegreen08
Posted by bemyyoko
Posted by lwny427
Posted by bemyyoko
Posted by jenlen
Posted by bemyyoko
i was told to move out of my home b/c i'm living in sin whether i'm doing the deed or not.
WHAT?! well, we were asked to not do the deed until the wedding....hahahaa.
yea...the priest even went so far as to say most brides put their parents' address down instead... so i asked him if i was supposed to lie to him, and he replied with 'I'm not saying that, but if you had, this would have been easier'
That priest did not approve our marriage and we went to another Parish. The priest at OUR parish is marrying us, and found our honesty refreshing.
GET OUT!!!! They can do that?!?!?!
Oh sure they can! They can say no for whatever reason they want too. It's insane. To make it worse... I am the reason there are female alter servers in the Diocese of Rockville Center. I started and ran the Parish coat drive, and canned food drive, I taught religious education for over 5 years and volunteered with that Parish in general since I was in 2nd grade.
They totally screwed me. I cried for WEEKS. I always dreamed of walking down that aisle.
I shouldn't be posting here since I'm Jewish... but... sometimes ... religious institutions... do things that are just plain ridiculous IMO...
I totally agree.
Katie&Chris2006
Posted:
Member since
Re: Is this normal?
Posted by jennandrolo
my officiant is my uncle whos a pastor of over 25 yrs. we're going to meet with him a few times and he has said hes gonna ask us questions that is going to make us blush. im soooo afraid that is going to be one of the questions.
my uncle married us too and asked us questions and wanted to discuss things that I wouldn't even discuss with my best friend! he was horrified to find out dh (then fh) and i lived together and suggested he stay in a hotel for the months leading up to the wedding!
