Is this right?

Original post by DananTodd

Oct 25, 2007 11:11 AM

FH and I, as a general rule always give $300 for a nightime wedding, and $250 for a daytime...Depending on the realtionship, we give more...Brother's wedding, we gave $600...best friends, $500. We are by no means wealthy, but my cousin told me that $300 is not enough? I always thought that that was genorous...please enlighten me, because now I'm confused!

ratherbealeper Posted: Oct 25, 2007 10:56 PM

Re: Is this right?

i think $300 is quite generous and you should not feel uncomfortable giving that much at all!!!

joan_db Posted: Oct 25, 2007 10:59 PM

Re: Is this right?

friends or family = $300

RKellner Posted: Oct 25, 2007 11:15 PM

Re: Is this right?

I usually give 100 per person... So for me and FH its 200... Maybe that sounds cheap to some, IDK, but I dont have alot of money... at all... Alls I know is that I would be grateful if someone gives that to me...

BoxOfRocks Posted: Oct 25, 2007 11:50 PM

Re: Is this right?

FTR, there is no 'covering your plate' rule. I posted this in another thread, but here are some citations from etiquette books.

'Amy Vanderbilt's New Complete Book of Etiquette,' 1963 (original copyright 1952):

Never feel you must 'match your gift to the circumstances.' If you are the bride's former teacher, living on a small salary, don't feel you must give a gift well out of proportion to the amount you should spend, just because the bride will have a big wedding and perhaps live on a lavish scale.

'Emily Post's Etiquette,' 17th ed., 2004:

[Q:] Am I supposed to buy a gift that costs as much as the families spend on each person at the wedding? [A:] No. This modern myth causes considerably anxiety for guests, but it is false. The amount you spend is strictly a matter of your budget, and what you think is an appropriate gift. Even if someone is brash enough to indicate how much is being spent on the wedding, you are under no obligation to spend more than you can afford.

MrsD71208 Posted: Oct 26, 2007 06:38 AM

Re: Is this right?

You should really only do what you can and not worry about it. Our rule is family gets 500+ easily, best friends get 400+ and friends that aren't as close get 300+....depends on who, you know?

LeeLee111 Posted: Oct 26, 2007 09:47 AM

Re: Is this right?

$300 is definitely enough. $100 per person is my general rule except when its an immediate family member or best friend then I give a little bit more.

LB and DC Posted: Oct 26, 2007 10:28 AM

Re: Is this right?

DH and i always give $300, and i always thought that i would consider giving more if it were an especially close friend, but after our wedding, we noticed that our close friends all gave us around that much, so it seems to be on par with what we think is an appropriate gift. IMO $300 is a generous gift!

CourtandJon Posted: Oct 26, 2007 10:46 AM

Re: Is this right?

$300 is a perfect gift! We usually give $250-$300...

Trishthedish Posted: Oct 26, 2007 11:20 AM

Re: Is this right?

Umm, when we've gone to weddings in the past we've given $200 for a distant cousin or family member and for a close friend $250 or $300 and for a sibling or best friend $500. We just got married and the average gift was either $200 or $300 per couple. I think $200 is not a bad gift depending on whose wedding it is.

Kara and Todd Posted: Oct 26, 2007 12:15 PM

Re: Is this right?

$300 is more than enough, though I wouldn't give less to someone having a day time wedding... I mean, $250 is also a perfectly generous gift. I just don't judge the gift on the party itself -- I judge it on our financial situation and our relationship with the bride and/or groom.

Most of our friends didn't give that much, though my parents' friends and family did give that or more. You're being MORE than generous.

jenn122397 Posted: Oct 26, 2007 12:25 PM

Re: Is this right?

Posted by DananTodd

FH and I, as a general rule always give $300 for a nightime wedding, and $250 for a daytime...Depending on the realtionship, we give more...Brother's wedding, we gave $600...best friends, $500. We are by no means wealthy, but my cousin told me that $300 is not enough? I always thought that that was genorous...please enlighten me, because now I'm confused!

i agree with you, i think $300 is acceptable
we generally give $300 - 350
in august we were both in BP for different weddings
FH was the best man so he gave $500
I was a BM and gave my friend $350 (if i wasn't get married a few months after I would have given more)

JMM7876 Posted: Oct 26, 2007 12:29 PM

Re: Is this right?

Posted by jtgarsik

imo $300 is a VERY nice gift.

I AGREE!!

AHimar24 Posted: Oct 26, 2007 12:33 PM

Re: Is this right?

I think $300 is a good amount. That's what we normally give, unless of course it's someone close to us.

BubbasBride Posted: Oct 26, 2007 01:15 PM

Re: Is this right?

I will never understand why the location and time of day determines the amount of my gift. I give what I can, and what I feel is appropriate based on my relationship to the bride and groom. I won't increase my gift because someone picked a Saturday night at a fancy place, but I also won't put less in the envelope if it's a budget wedding.

But that's just me.

snwb08 Posted: Oct 26, 2007 02:28 PM

Re: Is this right?

Posted by BubbasBride

I will never understand why the location and time of day determines the amount of my gift. I give what I can, and what I feel is appropriate based on my relationship to the bride and groom. I won't increase my gift because someone picked a Saturday night at a fancy place, but I also won't put less in the envelope if it's a budget wedding.

But that's just me.

exactly. In the past several years we've given $250-$350 depending on the relationship. my bf just got married i gave $350.

I wouldn't vary my amount with the location or time of day at all.

MrsBrags7706 Posted: Oct 26, 2007 04:14 PM

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Truthfully, I know this sounds HORRIBLE for me to say, but without naming RH's halls, some places are ovbiously more expnesive than others. I think $300 now a days is a common gift from a couple, IMO.

Personally, I think that's fine. It also depends on your relationship with the bride & groom.

However, saying that, I also always recipricate. If someone came to my wedding and gave me a certain amount, when I go to theres, I give the same amount they gave me UNLESS I'm apart of their BP. Then I'd give more.

Espo22 Posted: Oct 26, 2007 04:31 PM

Re: Is this right?

i think $300 is fine, we usually leave about that much but exactly like you said it depends on the relationship for ppl we are close to we give $500-600. We also have other methods of figuring this out, for example we attended 2 weddings this year, both couples didn't have an e-party but we did so bc of that we gave about $500-600 since they attended an e-party and a wedding for us, so we made up the difference.