Is this rude?

Donna Posted: Feb 20, 2004 04:01 PM

Re: Is this rude?

It's not rude, but do you really have to worry about her? Doesn't everyone try to look their best that day? Bride, bridal party, moms, guests, etc usually all have their hair and makeup done

Sage10.03 Posted: Feb 20, 2004 04:08 PM

Re: Is this rude?

IMO, I think it's rude....
It's one thing if you are offering to pay for it - but to insist someone pay to get their hair done a certain way on top of all the other things is a bit much.

I just told my girls to wear their hair however they felt comfortable and they all looked great.

Again, this is jmo....

Diane Posted: Feb 20, 2004 04:10 PM

Re: Is this rude?

she doesnt have to pay to have it done, maybe just put it up.

I dint care how my BM did their hair. They in fact asked me if I wanted it done a certain way which was nice.
I had one girl have her hair down, because her hairdresser was sick. So d\we quickly put it up at my house, because she wanted it up, but it fell dwon later on in the night.

julz33 Posted: Feb 20, 2004 04:12 PM

Re: Is this rude?

Posted by Sassyz75

I personally think it's a little rude and would be annoyed if I was told how to wear my hair as if I was a little girl. The way I see it is my BMs did SO MUCH for me- buying the dress, the shower, the gifts, the attention, the emotional support- the least they can do is be comfrotable with how they look. Lets face it, we all knew what type of style the BMs had when we picked them- either you are accepting of your friends and how they are no matter what, or you aren't. It's like asking a friend who has a tattoo to be in your wedding, but then demand they cover it... you knew she had the tattoo, if it bothers you that much you should'nt have asked them to be a BM.

I see your point. Thats why I feel bad about it. I do accept her no matter what and that is why I asked her to be in the wedding. Everytime I was in a wedding I had my hair done, and I guess I just assumed that all people do. Now that the wedding is getting closer I and I am now choosing the dresses and stuff I am getting worried about something not looking right. I wouldn't kick her out of the bridal party or anything if she decided to wear her hair down. I just think it would look better/more uniform if everyone had it up. I am not telling them a particular style or even saying it has to be done professionally.
It might not even be a problem, because the last wedding she was in, she had her hair done up and it looked beautiful. I think I am just going to say that I really liked the way she had her hair for that wedding, maybe she should do it that way again.

Diane Posted: Feb 20, 2004 04:18 PM

Re: Is this rude?

I think hiding a tattoo, and putting your hair up are TWO different comparisons.
When I was in weddings, I would always put my hair up, because it just looks nice. Not everyone likes their hair up. But if she is so happy to be in the party, then she should be just as happy to wear her hair for YOUR wedding day.

eroxgirl Posted: Feb 20, 2004 04:31 PM

Re: Is this rude?

I don't think its rude... my BMs keep asking me, hair up or down? But I don't care. And I do have a BM with a tattoo on her arm and I asked her if it would bother her to cover it. She said it wouldn't bother her so great for me, but I wouldn't have given her a hard time if it did. But my BMs and I tend to agree on things like this in the first place so I'm not worried about it much.

AtticaQT Posted: Feb 20, 2004 04:35 PM

Re: Is this rude?

Posted by CherylBooch

It told mine how to wear their hair. No one took it the wrong way... they thanked me b.c they didn't know what to do!
I sent them all the pic and told them to get it done at a salon that they are comfortable with. If they didn't have one I offered my salon's #.
Here is the pic:

That is such a pretty hairstyle - i think i may have my girls wear their hair like that!

SeptemberBride03 Posted: Feb 20, 2004 04:39 PM

Re: Is this rude?

I don't think it is rude. I have been asked to wear it all up and didn't mind.

For mine, I wanted them all looking 'finished.' But I didn't care how - so I told them to have it done all up or 1/2 up. They all had an individual flair that gave them personality which I loved! Some chose slick, tight buns, some had funky loose 'dos, etc.

Lorena Posted: Feb 20, 2004 04:42 PM

Re: Is this rude?

Posted by julz33

Everytime I was in a wedding I had my hair done, and I guess I just assumed that all people do.

I think that was my thought process too! That's why I was surprised by my MOH's reaction. But I just want to say that having an idea of how I'd like her hair has nothing to do with trying to changeher! I kinda just figured it was part of the package (dress, hair, etc...). I would never force anyone to wear their hair in a way that they found uncomfortable. Don't want to be a bridezilla

Becky Posted: Feb 20, 2004 04:52 PM

Re: Is this rude?

I don't think that I would call it rude, but I don't think you should force your BM to wear her hair up if she doesn't want to. I didn't tell my BMs what to do with their hair. I booked my hair appointment and asked who else wanted to get their hair done. Everyone did except for one and she looked great.

I think that, although it is your day, you should want your BMs to be comfortable. And if she is not going to be happy with the way she looks, then you shouldn't dictate how she should wear her hair. I was in a wedding once where the bride told us we had to wear our hair up, and while I didn't care, the other BMs were very unhappy about it.

Sassyz75 Posted: Feb 20, 2004 04:55 PM

Re: Is this rude?

I feel like how BMs do their hair should reflect their own sense of style. I know I wouldn't photograph as well if I was wearing a hairstyle I wasn't comfortable in.. My BMs all had different hair and it didn't look weird. Actually- I don't know of one wedding I was involved w. in the past year (at least 6) where all the BM had the same hair- I do NOT think it looks weird. I think it looks sort of robotic when all the girls DO have the same exact style.

tiakisses Posted: Feb 20, 2004 05:07 PM

Re: Is this rude?

i already told all of my bridesmaid except for 2 or 3 of them that i want everyones hair up and in curls

i actually told one of them that has short hair that i want her hair up and to have a hair peice attachment and she loved the idea

no one has taken it as me being rude so far

tiakisses Posted: Feb 20, 2004 05:22 PM

Re: Is this rude?

actually i was already in 2 of there weddings and they also descided how they wanted all the girls to wear there hair
and another 3 of them are getting there turn in the near future ..lol..

i think it makes things alot easier for them also

and you are paying for the pictures
you are the one who should STAND OUT
and i think everyone knows that

i think its all in the way you say things and how sensitive people are
its def not something to say over the phone,or around a whole bunch of people
if our dealing with a sensitive person

1096649_1.jpg

lilqtny Posted: Feb 20, 2004 05:37 PM

Re: Is this rude?

wow Tiff looks beautiful there
Is that how you want our hair?

bride2B04 Posted: Feb 20, 2004 06:16 PM

Re: Is this rude?

i asked my bridal party to wear there hair ALL UP however they want but all up. i am wearing mine down and wanted them to be different.

when they accepted the role of a BM they accepted the entire pacakge. i have had not one complaint and they were all honest. they can use whomeve they want even if they choose to it themselves but just up.

JMO

Smolokoff Posted: Feb 20, 2004 06:58 PM

Re: Is this rude?

I have told my BM's I don't care if they wear it up or down or anything in between, as long as they have it DONE! Makeup if they don't want to pay, I don't mind as much. But they knew since day one that this was going to be part of their cost as BM's.

julz33 Posted: Feb 20, 2004 07:27 PM

Re: Is this rude?

Posted by Sassyz75

I feel like how BMs do their hair should reflect their own sense of style. I know I wouldn't photograph as well if I was wearing a hairstyle I wasn't comfortable in.. My BMs all had different hair and it didn't look weird. Actually- I don't know of one wedding I was involved w. in the past year (at least 6) where all the BM had the same hair- I do NOT think it looks weird. I think it looks sort of robotic when all the girls DO have the same exact style.

Like I said I don't think she would be uncomfortable... she has had her hair done up for weddings before... And I never said the same style. I don't care what style they choose, and I don't care if they do it themselves or have it professionally done. I just don't her to stand out. Belive me she would stand out more than me.