is this tacky?

Neesiepie and I were just talking about this and need some outside opinions...

is it tacky to invite work associates to the church, but not the reception?

we work in a large dep't and are friendly with all, but some more then others..

what do you do in a situation like so?


any feedback would be appreciated?

Jess

Re: is this tacky?

If it were me, I wouldn't invite them to the church if they weren't going to the wedding. I feel like they might get insulted. Just my opinion, though.

Re: is this tacky?

I completely understand your dilemma. From all the etiquette articles I've read though, they don't recommend inviting people to the church and not the reception. Hope this helps!

Re: is this tacky?

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Posted by leighdvm

If it were me, I wouldn't invite them to the church if they weren't going to the wedding. I feel like they might get insulted. Just my opinion, though.

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I agree. I dont think its really tacky but sort of rude. I would feel weird if I were asked to go to the church and not reception.. and would also probably feel obligated to still give a gift seeing as how I still attended the wedding.. I guess you can do it but just dont expect many of them to come.. I wouldnt get all dressed up to sit in church for 30min - hour and then have no where to go after

Re: is this tacky?

If you can't invite them to the reception, I wouldn't invite them to just the church, I would get insulted if someone did that!

Re: is this tacky?

thanks for the imput.....

I'll let neesiepie know what everyone's opinions were and we'll go from there.


thanks ladies

Re: is this tacky?

When one of my co-workers gets married I usually go to the church to see them and congratulate them. We all know its impossible to invite everyone to the reception. I think sending a formal invite w/o reception card is not the way to go. Those who want to come will ask you where the church is and they will show up just because they want to see you. If I were to get an invite w/o reception card, I'd think its a way to just get a gift. JMO.

Re: is this tacky?

I agree with the girls.
But I think that you will find people will come to the church to who aren't invited to the reception just because they want to see you get married.
I know I've done that!

Re: is this tacky?

I do think it is tacky. If they are interested in seeing you at the church, they will ask when and where the ceremony is and will come on their own.

Re: is this tacky?

I guess I am the odd one here. I was actually thinking of doing the same thing. I acutally am a manager and have worked in my store for over 12yrs at one point or another almost everyone of the 400 employees in that store has worked directly under me. There is no way that I can invite all of them but I was thinking that is they wanted to come to the church that would be fine.

I have invited about 20 people from work that I am close with but line needed to be drawn very quickly so I thought that would be the easiest way of handling it. I actually thought about hanging a copy of the invite in my current department and anyone that wanted to come could.

Guess that isnt the best idea.

Re: is this tacky?

I have a similar situation. I have an acquantance at work who is always very pleasant to me, and we have nonpersonal conversations. She found out I was engaged and she congratulated me. She's gone on to say that she would love to attend my ceremony and to please give her directions. Now I kinda feel obligated to invite her to the reception even though Im not inviting many people from my own department. What should I do?

Re: is this tacky?

It's a little tacky. I would just not invite them to anything. I had to put some co-workers on a B list and only invite them after I received no RSVPs from other guests but I explained to them and they understood 100% and no one was offended.

Re: is this tacky?

i think the etiquet is that if you invite them to the ceremony, you should also invite them to the reception. Or, don't invite them at all.

Re: is this tacky?

I think in the past this was more common than it is now, the ceremony was more open to public and other acquantances, but these days I don't think it's the most polite thing to do, the only way I would suggest doing this is to verbally invite those to the ceremony, not give them an invite, it might confuse people, just verbally announce at work the ceremony location and date and time....

Re: is this tacky?

I think if you really want them to attend the ceremony, you should do a verbal invite. Let them know that you would have loved to invite them to the wedding, but because of size/money limitations you aren't able to invite everyone. Tell them they are welcome to come to the church if they want. Don't make it a formal invite or they will feel obligated to go. Just leave the option open and if they come, they come.

Re: is this tacky?

a friend of mine did this and let me tell you people she worked with were very offended (i know this because my sister worked w/ her) The church is usually opened for anyone. If they want to go to the church they will. But just inviting them to the church and not the party afterwards I think is a little insulting.

Re: is this tacky?

I would just let them know where you are getting married...if they want to show up to the church they will...its a public place. I've gone to plenty of ceremonies where I wasnt invited to the reception. Even if you are offended for not being invited after seeing the ceremony you cant help but just be happy for the couple!

Re: is this tacky?

I'm a teacher, and I know that in the past some of the other teachers put an invitation on the door for the parents and children to attend (the church) if they wanted to. I wasn't sure what I was going to do. Do you think that is a bad idea?

Re: is this tacky?

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Posted by troutster

I'm a teacher, and I know that in the past some of the other teachers put an invitation on the door for the parents and children to attend (the church) if they wanted to. I wasn't sure what I was going to do. Do you think that is a bad idea?

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When I booked my photographer, he showed me pics from a wedding where the bride had many of her students at the church. The photographer got the best pics of her with them outside. Her kids were probably first or second grade and they were so cute.

I would not invite people to the church, but if it came up in conversation, I'd tell people that they were welcome to come to the church if they wanted. That's what i was going to do, though no one I work with lives near where I got married, so it wasn't an issue.

Re: is this tacky?

I work in a school and I am going to put an inivitation up on the faculty room fridge so that people can go to the church if they want to... but I am not planning to MAIL them invitations!