Fh's parents aren't contributing to this wedding in the slightest bit, in fact, they've been downright rude when we try to get them involved in the planning process, not even paying, we're not the type to stand there with our hands out. Now that we're looking at invitations, we plan on putting my parents names in the invitation but not mentioning Fh's parents at all (i.e Mr & Mrs Doe invite you to the marriage of their daughter to bla bla bla). Is it wrong to not put them on the invitation at all?
Posted by chrispar
considering how they have been this entire time I do not think it is wrong of you
i posted this question awhile back because i had initially put 'together with their families...jennifer and rolando...' and fmil's mother was upset that her name wasnt on there and everyone on here told me i should so i wound up putting FMIL's name on there even though she hasnt given us a dime and can be very annoying when it comes to wedding plans. i just wanted to avoid the drama with her.
Posted by jennandrolo
i posted this question awhile back because i had initially put 'together with their families...jennifer and rolando...' and fmil's mother was upset that her name wasnt on there and everyone on here told me i should so i wound up putting FMIL's name on there even though she hasnt given us a dime and can be very annoying when it comes to wedding plans. i just wanted to avoid the drama with her.
I don't think it's wrong at all. If they're not paying, they don't go on!
Posted by mRm2008
I guess my advice is do what feels right for you, but remember that some people can really blow something out of proportion. Just be ready for it if that's your choice....
When my FH's older brother got married, his parents did not support their wedding emotionally or monetarily. They decided not to include their names on the invitation, which was well within the limits of etiquette. They had a bit of repercussion from that side of the family concerning the invites. A few were sent to the future brides family with comments such as 'Who the F's son is this?' and other rather nasty remarks.
Obviously people took offense. Also, FH's Mom and Dad were so bent about the situation that invite still hangs in their kitchen 16 years laterThey cannot let it go, as dysfunctional as it may sound. 16 years and 3 kids later his brother and SIL still are reminded of their choice every time they go to see his family.
Why are FIL's acting so mean? Are they not happy about the marriage or is this just how they are?
Posted by MikeandJess
Posted by jennandrolo
i posted this question awhile back because i had initially put 'together with their families...jennifer and rolando...' and fmil's mother was upset that her name wasnt on there and everyone on here told me i should so i wound up putting FMIL's name on there even though she hasnt given us a dime and can be very annoying when it comes to wedding plans. i just wanted to avoid the drama with her.That's another valid point, I didn't even think about his mother, I was just talking about his father and stepmother. Well now there's just not enough room on the invitations for everyone
Posted by GtBride
Why are FIL's acting so mean? Are they not happy about the marriage or is this just how they are?
i agree- i wouldnt put them on
Posted by MikeandJess
Posted by mRm2008
I guess my advice is do what feels right for you, but remember that some people can really blow something out of proportion. Just be ready for it if that's your choice....
When my FH's older brother got married, his parents did not support their wedding emotionally or monetarily. They decided not to include their names on the invitation, which was well within the limits of etiquette. They had a bit of repercussion from that side of the family concerning the invites. A few were sent to the future brides family with comments such as 'Who the F's son is this?' and other rather nasty remarks.
Obviously people took offense. Also, FH's Mom and Dad were so bent about the situation that invite still hangs in their kitchen 16 years laterThey cannot let it go, as dysfunctional as it may sound. 16 years and 3 kids later his brother and SIL still are reminded of their choice every time they go to see his family.
I actually thought about what I'd say if they got mad, it went something like, blow me.
Posted by MikeandJess
Posted by GtBride
Why are FIL's acting so mean? Are they not happy about the marriage or is this just how they are?
I'm not sure. They don't approve of anyone their children are involved with, they are very judgmental, miserable human beings. Me and FH's BIL talk about this all the time
Posted by Celest
OMG I am wasn't planning on putting the parents name on the invitations. I was going to say together with their parents. I put the names of all our parents on the save the dates, but wasn't planning on doing it on the invites too. I don't know if I have room. I wonder if I can put it on the reception cards. OH boy now something else to dwell on.. ugh![]()
Posted by Celest
You have to tell them to blow you nicely. THey are your inlaws...lol![]()
Posted by GtBride
Posted by MikeandJess
Posted by GtBride
Why are FIL's acting so mean? Are they not happy about the marriage or is this just how they are?
I'm not sure. They don't approve of anyone their children are involved with, they are very judgmental, miserable human beings. Me and FH's BIL talk about this all the time
I am so sorry you have to go thru this![]()
Posted by MikeandJess
Posted by Celest
You have to tell them to blow you nicely. THey are your inlaws...lol![]()
Hmm, well what if I smile when I say it?
Posted by snwb08
NO WAY is it wrong. it's not just a monetary thing. If theyre being rude and not even helpful, I would not want to acknowledge them either.
we are paying for everything but have help here and there (like the shower, e-party, etc.) so we are doing 'together with our families' - not just parent specific, but everyone.
Posted by MikeandJess
Posted by Espo22
normally i say that both parents should go on it. It shouldn't be about how much they give for the wedding bc they've done so much for us period and they shouldn't be measured based upon contribution to our weddings. BUT if they are being rude about the wedding, then that is different. Do what feels right to you
I don't mean to sound obnoxious but what really bothers me is that they do have the money to contribute and refuse to. If it was a matter of them not having the money I would be the first one to understand, my family has financial issues too and I certainly did not expect them to help out with the wedding. But relating back to what you said, it is more their attitude than the money but everything kind of relates to each other.
