It's been a while since...

we had some controversy up in here!! It's a slow day at work, and I thought a good topic would help pass the time, so, here it goes.

Divorce. Do you believe in it? What are the circumstances in which you would consider it? If you are totally against it, why?

I do believe in it and if I was cheated on that is grounds for divorce in my book. I just could not continue our marriage wondering if it will ever happen again.

And if I ever had a hand raised to me. Then again we wouldn't need divorce because he'd be dead lol

Yes to divorce if-

No longer in love... but tried counseling, and that didnt work

Someone cheated.....

I guess I'll start.

There is really only one reason that I would consider divorce and that is if my husband ever laid a hand on me our children. I do not think it is EVER acceptable to lay your hands on another human being.

I also have to throw in cheating. But I don't know that I'd consider divorce... I wouldn't be able to answer that unless I was in the situation.

i dont believe in it and it would never happen! everyone brings up beatings, drug abuse, cheating etc. BUT those are grounds for ANNULMENT in the Catholic Church, not divorce and I know it doesnt make a difference legally but I am more concerned with my vows before God not my contract with NY state

Abuse!! That is a deffinate deal breaker in my book.

I think because we have had alot of divorce around us, we know what it can do to people. I would try to get through those problems.

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Posted by Kimbalina

Yes to divorce if-

No longer in love... but tried counseling, and that didnt work

Someone cheated.....

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I agree that all issues should be dealt with in counseling... sometimes it is a lack of communication, etc. and you need an unbiased person on the outside to help you see through it.

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Posted by yelley77

I guess I'll start.

There is really only one reason that I would consider divorce and that is if my husband ever laid a hand on me our children. I do not think it is EVER acceptable to lay your hands on another human being.

I also have to throw in cheating. But I don't know that I'd consider divorce... I wouldn't be able to answer that unless I was in the situation.

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I agree

Well since im divorced - id guess i say i believe in it. But when i first got married - i didnt. Then i realied i had mad a terrible mistake and honestly - besides killing him (only half kidding) divorce was the only way out - it didnt make sense to be unhappy forever b/c of a mistake i made when i was 23.

But i was very adament about getting an annullment - i did it right away after the divorce.

I also did alot of soul searching and reflection and realized what i did wrong and how not to make the same mistakes again.

Which is why i feel so confident now that FH and I will be together forever

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Posted by ant n tilde

i dont believe in it and it would never happen! everyone brings up beatings, drug abuse, cheating etc. BUT those are grounds for ANNULMENT in the Catholic Church, not divorce and I know it doesnt make a difference legally but I am more concerned with my vows before God not my contract with NY state

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good point! I agree with the vows, thing. The reason I am marrying FH is because i know he would NEVER hurt me, never raise a hand to me, and so on. I was just speaking in general... not would you consider your FH for any reason. am I making any sense?

i do believe in divorce, but only when all other options have been exhausted. if you try counseling, and it's still not working, why be miserable with each other? but again, only if you truly do try to work things out, and it's just irrepairable (is this even a word ).

i do agree, any kind of physical abuse is immediate grounds for divorce. lay a hand on me or our children, and you will be gone!

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Posted by Cindyrella

Well since im divorced - id guess i say i believe in it. But when i first got married - i didnt. Then i realied i had mad a terrible mistake and honestly - besides killing him (only half kidding) divorce was the only way out - it didnt make sense to be unhappy forever b/c of a mistake i made when i was 23.

But i was very adament about getting an annullment - i did it right away after the divorce.

I also did alot of soul searching and reflection and realized what i did wrong and how not to make the same mistakes again.

Which is why i feel so confident now that FH and I will be together forever

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good for you, you learned from your mistake. I agree that you shouldn't be forced to stay in something you aren't happy in, but i do think that you should give it your all before you call it quits (not you, per say, people in general, inculding myself)

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Posted by ant n tilde

i dont believe in it and it would never happen! everyone brings up beatings, drug abuse, cheating etc. BUT those are grounds for ANNULMENT in the Catholic Church, not divorce and I know it doesnt make a difference legally but I am more concerned with my vows before God not my contract with NY state

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yeah but also remember that not everybody is catholic...not going against what you say bc what you believe is what you believe...but remember not everybody has the option of annulement in a catholic church

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Posted by yelley77

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Posted by ant n tilde

i dont believe in it and it would never happen! everyone brings up beatings, drug abuse, cheating etc. BUT those are grounds for ANNULMENT in the Catholic Church, not divorce and I know it doesnt make a difference legally but I am more concerned with my vows before God not my contract with NY state

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good point! I agree with the vows, thing. The reason I am marrying FH is because i know he would NEVER hurt me, never raise a hand to me, and so on. I was just speaking in general... not would you consider your FH for any reason. am I making any sense?

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ok i guess its hard for me to separate that in my mind ( meaning divorce involving US and just divorce in general ) but i will try

I DO believe in it bc I know two people right now in my life that I love dearly that I wish and pray that they would get a divorce. How can you decide at YOUNGER than 30 that okay, well this is my life, i give up and I will be miserable forever. People have to take control of their own lives and make their own happiness. I DO believe that people get divorced too quickly and without putting enough effort into their marriage B U T I also believe there is a time to 'cut your losses' and just go - find yout happiness!!!

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Posted by teenigrrl

i do believe in divorce, but only when all other options have been exhausted. if you try counseling, and it's still not working, why be miserable with each other? but again, only if you truly do try to work things out, and it's just irrepairable (is this even a word ).

i do agree, any kind of physical abuse is immediate grounds for divorce. lay a hand on me or our children, and you will be gone!

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I agree with you, Tina. I could never have a fight and say 'I want a divorce'... I would try to make it work any way I possibly could and if we both decided we still aren't happy, then we go our seperate ways!

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by ant n tilde

i dont believe in it and it would never happen! everyone brings up beatings, drug abuse, cheating etc. BUT those are grounds for ANNULMENT in the Catholic Church, not divorce and I know it doesnt make a difference legally but I am more concerned with my vows before God not my contract with NY state

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yeah but also remember that not everybody is catholic...not going against what you say bc what you believe is what you believe...but remember not everybody has the option of annulement in a catholic church

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oh yeah i get that - i was answering more for myself, which wasnt the point of the OP so i changed it now LOL

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Posted by ant n tilde

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by ant n tilde

i dont believe in it and it would never happen! everyone brings up beatings, drug abuse, cheating etc. BUT those are grounds for ANNULMENT in the Catholic Church, not divorce and I know it doesnt make a difference legally but I am more concerned with my vows before God not my contract with NY state

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yeah but also remember that not everybody is catholic...not going against what you say bc what you believe is what you believe...but remember not everybody has the option of annulement in a catholic church

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oh yeah i get that - i was answering more for myself, which wasnt the point of the OP so i changed it now LOL

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lol yeah i figured you were answering for yourself but just wanted to point that one thing out.

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Posted by ant n tilde

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Posted by yelley77

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Posted by ant n tilde

i dont believe in it and it would never happen! everyone brings up beatings, drug abuse, cheating etc. BUT those are grounds for ANNULMENT in the Catholic Church, not divorce and I know it doesnt make a difference legally but I am more concerned with my vows before God not my contract with NY state

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good point! I agree with the vows, thing. The reason I am marrying FH is because i know he would NEVER hurt me, never raise a hand to me, and so on. I was just speaking in general... not would you consider your FH for any reason. am I making any sense?

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ok i guess its hard for me to separate that in my mind ( meaning divorce involving US and just divorce in general ) but i will try

I DO believe in it bc I know two people right now in my life that I love dearly that I wish and pray that they would get a divorce. How can you decide at YOUNGER than 30 that okay, well this is my life, i give up and I will be miserable forever. People have to take control of their own lives and make their own happiness. I DO believe that people get divorced too quickly and without putting enough effort into their marriage B U T I also believe there is a time to 'cut your losses' and just go - find yout happiness!!!

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I agree that some people take the easy way out and get divorced instead of working on their marriage too. I think it's only acceptable for certain things.