Joke of the Day 1/18/06

Original post by JazzyT

Jan 18, 2006 09:55 AM

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, 'Harry, what's your problem?'

Harry answered, 'I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3r d grade too!'

Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.

While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: 'What is 3 x 3?'

Harry: '9.'

Principal: 'What is 6 x 6?'

Harry: '36.'

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.

The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, 'I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade.'

Ms. Brooks says to the principal, 'Let me ask him some questions.'

The principal and Harry both agreed.

Ms. Brooks asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?'

Harry, after a moment: 'Legs.'

Ms. Brooks: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'

The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!

Harry replied: 'Pockets.'

Ms. Brooks: 'What does a dog do that a man steps into?'

Harry: 'Pants.'

Ms. Brooks: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?'

Harry: 'Coconut.'

The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.

Ms. Brooks: 'What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?'

The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, 'Bubble gum.'

Ms. Brooks: 'What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?'

Harry: 'Shake hands.'

The principal was trembling.

Ms. Brooks: 'What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?'

Harry: 'Firetruck.'

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, 'Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong...... '

Lissy3077 Posted: Jan 18, 2006 04:09 PM

Re: Joke of the Day 1/18/06

jnrrb Posted: Jan 18, 2006 04:43 PM

Re: Joke of the Day 1/18/06

TimmysGirl Posted: Jan 18, 2006 05:31 PM

Re: Joke of the Day 1/18/06

wematched Posted: Jan 18, 2006 05:39 PM

Re: Joke of the Day 1/18/06

I love that one!

enjft Posted: Jan 18, 2006 05:42 PM

Re: Joke of the Day 1/18/06

A father put his three year old daughter to bed, told her a story and
listened to
her prayers which she ended by saying:

'God bless Mommy,
God bless Daddy,
God bless Grandma
and good-bye Grandpa.'

The father asked, 'Why did you say good-bye grandpa?'

The little girl said, 'I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the
thing
to do.'

The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange
coincidence. A few months later the father put the girl to bed and
listened to her prayers which went like
this:

'God bless Mommy,
God Bless Daddy
and good-bye Grandma.'

The next day the grandmother died. Oh my gosh, thought the father,
this
kid is in contact with the other side. Several weeks later when the
girl
was going to bed the dad heard her say:

'God bless Mommy
and good-bye Daddy.'

He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up
at the crack! of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all
day, had lunch sent in and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay.

He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound. Finally midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief
and went home.

When he got home his wife said 'I've never seen you work so late, what's the matter?'

He said 'I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life.'

She said 'You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened to me. This morning the milkman dropped dead on our porch.'