Just curious what you consider 'cheating'...

I was going to post a question like this.
(But not really about porn.)
I think if you watch porn, that's not cheating at all.

I generally think that having physical contact with someone else is cheating...There are lines of course --but I think mostly those lines of what's wrong and what's right are made up from person to person...And alot of factors contribute to this too...It's hard to give a definite answer one way or the other on everything else...But as a rule I would say that there is no question that having sex with someone else is cheating.


ETA: Anything else is up to individual interpretation.

i say abnormal internet chats, kissing and horizontal mambo!

and i say abnormal internet chats because thats what led to the breakup with my ex fiance (years ago). It started as email of him 'joking around' with random girls (asking how big their chests are and such) which then led to posting personals on adultfriendfinder.com!!!

so i'm VERY against Fh talking to strange girls online!!!

I didn't vote cause there's more than one answer in my opinion:


Sweet talk with a co-worker - Wouldn't be too happy if he was doing this - very disrespectful but don't know if it's cheating.

Internet chats that are not 'normal' - same as above - would wonder why this is happening.

Kissing - YES! No ifs, ands, or buts about it.

Porn - not in my book.

The horizontal mambo - YES!!!!! Gounds for a kick in the a$$ and GOODBYE!

Just looking at another girl/guy - Depends but for the most part no. We're all human - IMO - so I'd let this slide but I would confront him if it was too frequent or made me uncomfortable.

I also consider those conversations where you start getting into the deeper side of you to be cheating - sharing those things you don't tell most people - I guess you'd say the intimate stuff.

---

Posted by tracyg

i say abnormal internet chats, kissing and horizontal mambo!

---

I agree.

See...It's all up for individual interpretation!
Everyone has their own thoughts on this subject...But I think we're all in agreeance that having sex with someone else is the real definition...

Hmm.. this is a good question

Out of the choices on your poll , I definitely think that kissing, the horizontal mambo (of course!) and intimate internet chats all fall into the category of 'cheating'.

I know some will disagree that internet chatting in 'cheating' per se, but I've know a LOT of people who take those 'innocent' emailing and IMing situations and go over the edge with them into downright cyber-sex! I've seen it destroy pre-existing relationships, and its a very scary thing.

Hey I met my FH online (we were both 100% single at the time) , so I know how intimate it can get! We practically fell in love online, it creates a very strong sense of intimacy.

However I do NOT think looking at another man/woman, porn or 'sweet talks' with a co-worker, etc. is cheating. As Long as the'flirting' is harmless fun and also doesn't go 'over the line' .. I think its a rather healthy thing to joke around and be a little flirtatious with the opposite sex.. within reason. And if we didn't LOOK at other men/women, I think something would be wrong with us!

But every situations is different. What might seeem harmless to one person is an entirely serious thing to another. Its hard to categorize anything

The only SURE answer is when you kiss or have sex with someone other than your partner, you are a cheater. The end.

i say physical contact starting with a kiss...

physical attraction is natural, flirting is harmless...it's when one acts on these feelings where it starts to become a problem...

i always make fun of FH when he goes into the local coffee shop. the girls always flirt with him and he eats it all up. once i did have to hold FH's hand and shoot one girl a nasty look because i could not believe how far she was going to 'sell the product'. it's all in good fun though...

---

Posted by september2004

physical attraction is natural, flirting is harmless...it's when one acts on these feelings where it starts to become a problem...

---

how would you define 'acting' on these feelings?

---

Posted by BMD'sPeanut

---

Posted by september2004

physical attraction is natural, flirting is harmless...it's when one acts on these feelings where it starts to become a problem...

---

how would you define 'acting' on these feelings?

---

actual physical contact.

but these things (the natural feeling of attraction), if they happen, should be kept a secret as well as there is no need to hurt another's feelings in the process. although i find men gawking at other women in front of their significant other tasteless, i don't find that to be cheating. i find that to be poor behavior and i would not stand for it.

---

Posted by kel2004

---

Posted by tracyg

i say abnormal internet chats, kissing and horizontal mambo!

---

I agree.

---

Me three

---

Posted by Ang&Rich

I didn't vote cause there's more than one answer in my opinion:


Sweet talk with a co-worker - Wouldn't be too happy if he was doing this - very disrespectful but don't know if it's cheating.

Internet chats that are not 'normal' - same as above - would wonder why this is happening.

Kissing - YES! No ifs, ands, or buts about it.

Porn - not in my book.

The horizontal mambo - YES!!!!! Gounds for a kick in the a$$ and GOODBYE!

Just looking at another girl/guy - Depends but for the most part no. We're all human - IMO - so I'd let this slide but I would confront him if it was too frequent or made me uncomfortable.

I also consider those conversations where you start getting into the deeper side of you to be cheating - sharing those things you don't tell most people - I guess you'd say the intimate stuff.

---

i agree

---

Posted by cocoa

what about massaging? like hey jane you look tense and jane says oh yeah thanks, i needed that?

---

are they naked - yes
clothed - no

This raises an interesting question about being friends with members of the opposite sex.

To me, all this gels together somehow...

What if your best friend lost her husband (divorce, death---either way: extremely vunerable) and for whatever reasons your husband felt some connection to her? And they chatted alot? Flirted? Exchanged some ideas about things...

he has 'girl' friends he knew before me... and i know its strictly platonic... but theres no need for him to befriend MY best friend like that. vulnerable women are off limits.... i know how they get!

---

Posted by BMD'sPeanut

This raises an interesting question about being friends with members of the opposite sex.

To me, all this gels together somehow...

What if your best friend lost her husband (divorce, death---either way: extremely vunerable) and for whatever reasons your husband felt some connection to her? And they chatted alot? Flirted? Exchanged some ideas about things...

---

I think that a vulnerable, single woman or man who is seeking and getting comfort from a married man or woman (or otherwise committed person) is a receipe for disaster.

Having friends of the opposite sex is a healthy and basically non-threatening situation .. but the situation you described above is very worriesome, IMO .. If my husband were getting that 'close' to a woman in that situation, I'd become a little concerned..