Just curious what you consider 'cheating'...

FH considers LIW to be 'abnormal internet chats'

i find the 'dirty' internet chats to be just another way of flirting and/or relieving pent up frustration and/or engaging in fantasy (akin to porn). these can become problematic if acted upon, (i.e. meeting up in person for a roll around in the hay). but the way in which it is done and the words that are used can really reveal something about an individual (that may make one feel uncomfortable and make tracks)...

a friend of mine was worried about 'getting busted' with his internet chatting. he picked up a few weirdos on line and was enjoying the psychology behind it. i think he was just experimenting and having fun, although i don't think he would have done that if his girlfriend who he is dying to marry would just commit to him

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Posted by BMD'sPeanut

This raises an interesting question about being friends with members of the opposite sex.

To me, all this gels together somehow...

What if your best friend lost her husband (divorce, death---either way: extremely vunerable) and for whatever reasons your husband felt some connection to her? And they chatted alot? Flirted? Exchanged some ideas about things...

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MY FH long ago x-girlfriend and now(for many years) best friend is getting divorced. She actually stayed with us for about a month. Just last week her father died( she is having a very tough year, poor thing) and FH went to MD. to be with her. I know that FH is just a wonderful person and wants to help his friend( and I want him to be there for her also), but there is a tiny, itty bitty part of me that gets a little jealous of that relationship. I know how stupid it is of me and that it is just my own insecrurities, but I can't help what I feel.

You need a combination or 'all of the above'

I consider reading FHM or Maxim or watching porn not cheating. Men are into visual things and I don't think looking at the occasional porn means he's cheating. If he did it alot and didn't want to have sex w/ you then that's a problem but it's not cheating.

Flirting - depends on the situation. I sweet talk his friends and schmooze with the best of em too but I don't outright flirt with anyone (like flirt meaning 'I like you and want to start soemthing').

Internet talk - yeah I consider that cheating it's it's done in a flirt (I want you) nature. Bantering w/ a female in a chat room......not cheating. Cyber sex - cheating in my book because it's an active participation with another human being.

Being close to another woman to the point of sharing intimate details is not cheating in my book but its' definite cause for concern, I think.

The swapping of bodily fluids unless it is medically necessary.

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Posted by Kriss2c

The swapping of bodily fluids unless it is medically necessary.

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i agree...

So being/getting felt up is OK?

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Posted by Kriss2c

The swapping of bodily fluids unless it is medically necessary.

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Posted by kel2004

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Posted by tracyg

i say abnormal internet chats, kissing and horizontal mambo!

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I agree.

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me too

Hm...
My definition of cheating is pretty tight.

Any physical contact of a sexual nature, i.e., kissng,touching is cheating. I also think any interaction with the purpose of sexual arousal is cheating.

I don't think porn or flirting is cheating

I also believe there is emotional cheating.

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Posted by Ang&Rich

I didn't vote cause there's more than one answer in my opinion:


Sweet talk with a co-worker - Wouldn't be too happy if he was doing this - very disrespectful but don't know if it's cheating.

Internet chats that are not 'normal' - same as above - would wonder why this is happening.

Kissing - YES! No ifs, ands, or buts about it.

Porn - not in my book.

The horizontal mambo - YES!!!!! Gounds for a kick in the a$$ and GOODBYE!

Just looking at another girl/guy - Depends but for the most part no. We're all human - IMO - so I'd let this slide but I would confront him if it was too frequent or made me uncomfortable.

I also consider those conversations where you start getting into the deeper side of you to be cheating - sharing those things you don't tell most people - I guess you'd say the intimate stuff.

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i agree!