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kellenberg prom cancelled

sarahthegreat Posted:

kellenberg prom cancelled

i know this came out awhile ago, but there is an artilce in the NYtimes today.

the school cancelled because of pre and post prom activites - they call the after prom parties 'orgies.' the article states that the school is holding parents responsible - they are renting houses in the hamptons and some houses, ok, all houses, have booze and whatnot. so the kids are understandly upset. from where i stand, i can see where they'd be annoyed, but at the same time, i see where the school is coming from.

of course if this happened when i was there, i know i'd see this differently.

thoughts?

article: UNIONDALE, N.Y. (AP) -- Brother Kenneth M. Hoagland had heard all the stories about prom-night debauchery at his Long Island high school: Students putting down $10,000 to rent a party house in the Hamptons. Pre-prom cocktail parties followed by a trip to the dance in a liquor-loaded limo. Fathers chartering a boat for their children's late-night ''booze cruise.''

Enough was enough, Hoagland said. So the principal of Kellenberg Memorial High School canceled the spring prom in a 2,000-word letter to parents this fall.

''It is not primarily the sex/booze/drugs that surround this event, as problematic as they might be; it is rather the flaunting of affluence, assuming exaggerated expenses, a pursuit of vanity for vanity's sake -- in a word, financial decadence,'' Hoagland said, fed up with what he called the ''bacchanalian aspects.''

''Each year it gets worse -- becomes more exaggerated, more expensive, more emotionally traumatic,'' he added. ''We are withdrawing from the battle and allowing the parents full responsibility. (Kellenberg) is willing to sponsor a prom, but not an orgy.''

The move brought a mixed, albeit passionate, reaction from students and parents at the Roman Catholic school, which is owned by the Society of Mary (Marianists), a religious order of priests and brothers.

''I don't think it's fair, obviously, that they canceled prom,'' said senior Alyssa Johnson of Westbury. ''There are problems with the prom, but I don't think their reasons or the actions they took solved anything.''

Hoagland began talking about the future of the prom last spring after 46 Kellenberg seniors made a $10,000 down payment on a $20,000 rental in the Hamptons for a post-prom party. When school officials found out, they forced the students to cancel the deal; the kids got their money back and the prom went on as planned.

But some parents went ahead and rented a Hamptons house anyway, Hoagland said.

Amy Best, an associate professor of sociology and anthropology at George Mason University in Virginia and the author of ''Prom Night: Youth, Schools and Popular Culture,'' said this is the first time she has heard of a school canceling the prom for such reasons.

''A lot of people have lamented the growing consumption that surrounds the prom,'' she said, noting it is not uncommon for students to pay $1,000 on the dance and surrounding folderol: expensive dresses, tuxedo rentals, flowers, limousines, pre- and post-prom parties.

Best pinned some of the blame for the burgeoning costs on parents, who are often willing to open their wallets for whatever their child demands. ''It is a huge misperception that the kids themselves are totally driving this.''

Edward Lawson, the father of a Kellenberg senior, said he and other parents are discussing whether to organize a prom without the sponsorship of the 2,500-student school.

''This is my fourth child to go through Kellenberg and I don't think they have a right to judge what goes on after the prom,'' he said. ''They put everybody in the category of drinkers and drug addicts. I don't believe that's the right thing to do.''

Some parents waiting to pick up their children on a recent afternoon said they support Hoagland.

''The school has excellent values,'' said Margaret Cameron of Plainview. ''We send our children here because we support the values and the administration of the school and I totally back everything they do.''

Hoagland said in an interview that parents, who pay $6,025 in annual tuition, have expressed appreciation for his stern stand. ''For some, it (the letter) was an eye-opener,'' he said. ''Others feel relieved that the pressure is off of them.''

Chris Laine, a senior from Rockville Centre, said the cancellation was ''unfortunate, but you can't really argue with the facts they present. ... It's just what it's evolved into. It's not what it was 20, 30 or 40 years ago. It's turned into something it wasn't originally intended to be.''

Besides, Laine noted, the senior class still has a four-day trip to Disney World scheduled for April.

''We go to all the parks with our friends,'' he said just before hopping into his jet-black Infiniti and driving off to meet friends for an after-school snack. ''We fly down together and stay in the same hotel and so it's not like we're totally losing everything.''

conigs25 Posted:

Re: kellenberg prom cancelled

My FI went to Kellenberg.
I think the school doesnt have the right to cancel a prom bc of what 'might' (and prob will) happen pre and post prom. Those kids will do those things regardless and now most will prob have some sort of 'make -believe prom' which might be even hairier
beautyq115 Posted:

Re: kellenberg prom cancelled

Wow I didn't know that...Its such a shame to punish everyone for people who are doing the wrong thing. I know I would be upset if that was my prom.

However many times the parents are the ones who are facilitating the drinking which is insane! At the school my mom works at parents are the ones who are loading these party buses with booze! Who does that???
sarahthegreat Posted:

Re: kellenberg prom cancelled


Posted by beautyq115

Wow I didn't know that...Its such a shame to punish everyone for people who are doing the wrong thing. I know I would be upset if that was my prom.

However many times the parents are the ones who are facilitating the drinking which is insane! At the school my mom works at parents are the ones who are loading these party buses with booze! Who does that???



thats is who is really to blame...the parents sooo want their kids and kids friends to think they are 'cool' they'll do whatever the kid asks. and i agree, how can they cancell what may or may not happen. but, i think, that the school has noticed the decline, probably since my class in 1993 that they just see no other option
beautyq115 Posted:

Re: kellenberg prom cancelled


Posted by smm2675


Posted by beautyq115

Wow I didn't know that...Its such a shame to punish everyone for people who are doing the wrong thing. I know I would be upset if that was my prom.

However many times the parents are the ones who are facilitating the drinking which is insane! At the school my mom works at parents are the ones who are loading these party buses with booze! Who does that???



thats is who is really to blame...the parents sooo want their kids and kids friends to think they are 'cool' they'll do whatever the kid asks. and i agree, how can they cancell what may or may not happen. but, i think, that the school has noticed the decline, probably since my class in 1993 that they just see no other option



That is definetely true!
The school should host after prom activities that don't involve drinking.
sarahthegreat Posted:

Re: kellenberg prom cancelled

good point, they should.
beautyq115 Posted:

Re: kellenberg prom cancelled


Posted by smm2675

good point, they should.



I know there are schools that do that. They may make the students attend them if they go to the Prom...not quite sure how it works
sarahthegreat Posted:

Re: kellenberg prom cancelled

i think the problem with that would be how do you make the kids go?? i know what you are saying, but to me it would be hard to get all the kids that went to prom, to the after-prom activities.

there is talk of a 'grease' like event - carnival and such. to me, not the same. even if they have a dance afterward, whats the difference, kids still will go all out on it and the school will be right back where it started from
beautyq115 Posted:

Re: kellenberg prom cancelled

I just think of my prom...

My friends and I never drank in HS and that wasn't even part of our prom experience. We were like the last ones to leave and the chaperones were like aren't you going to get out of here already??

Its makes me very sad to think of all the kids who are missing out
sarahthegreat Posted:

Re: kellenberg prom cancelled


Posted by beautyq115

My friends and I never drank in HS and that wasn't even part of our prom experience. We were like the last ones to leave and the chaperones were like aren't you going to get out of here already??



funny b/c after my prom, we went to a comedy club and thought we were all that - we soooo weren't. there was drinking but no debauchery as kellenberg puts it.

as bad as time as i had at my prom, i'm still glad i went. fh never went to his own, he claims he didn't care about it, but i think he did
beautyq115 Posted:

Re: kellenberg prom cancelled


Posted by smm2675


Posted by beautyq115

My friends and I never drank in HS and that wasn't even part of our prom experience. We were like the last ones to leave and the chaperones were like aren't you going to get out of here already??



funny b/c after my prom, we went to a comedy club and thought we were all that - we soooo weren't. there was drinking but no debauchery as kellenberg puts it.

as bad as time as i had at my prom, i'm still glad i went. fh never went to his own, he claims he didn't care about it, but i think he did



Thats what we did..Dangerfield in the city. We thought we were so damn cool. ANd then Great Adventure the next day
sarahthegreat Posted:

Re: kellenberg prom cancelled


Posted by beautyq115


Posted by smm2675


Posted by beautyq115

My friends and I never drank in HS and that wasn't even part of our prom experience. We were like the last ones to leave and the chaperones were like aren't you going to get out of here already??



funny b/c after my prom, we went to a comedy club and thought we were all that - we soooo weren't. there was drinking but no debauchery as kellenberg puts it.

as bad as time as i had at my prom, i'm still glad i went. fh never went to his own, he claims he didn't care about it, but i think he did



Thats what we did..Dangerfield in the city. We thought we were so damn cool. ANd then Great Adventure the next day



ok, did you go to my prom?? we did the same thing - i went home on saturday, ate and then slept until it was time to get up at 6 am to go to great adventure
beautyq115 Posted:

Re: kellenberg prom cancelled


Posted by smm2675


Posted by beautyq115


Posted by smm2675


Posted by beautyq115

My friends and I never drank in HS and that wasn't even part of our prom experience. We were like the last ones to leave and the chaperones were like aren't you going to get out of here already??



funny b/c after my prom, we went to a comedy club and thought we were all that - we soooo weren't. there was drinking but no debauchery as kellenberg puts it.

as bad as time as i had at my prom, i'm still glad i went. fh never went to his own, he claims he didn't care about it, but i think he did



Thats what we did..Dangerfield in the city. We thought we were so damn cool. ANd then Great Adventure the next day



ok, did you go to my prom?? we did the same thing - i went home on saturday, ate and then slept until it was time to get up at 6 am to go to great adventure



We had ours on a Thursday and then went to Great Adventure on Friday....

Where was your Prom...We had the Junior at Coral House and the Senior at the Fountanbleu...it was actually knocked down the day after our prom and the Kohls parking lot is where it once was
sarahthegreat Posted:

Re: kellenberg prom cancelled

we had ours at huntington town house way before it was re-done.

to me its sad that these kids don't get to have that memory, good or bad
BJandDan Posted:

Re: kellenberg prom cancelled

I agree with the principal. I think the prom has evolved into a very mature party for very immature kids. I agree that it is a shame that the good ones are losing out, but I feel that the principal took a very good step in showing the stance that many should.

AmyMarie Posted:

Re: kellenberg prom cancelled

I totally support the school...and hell I wish they cancelled my prom (sorry Sarah). It sucked and it was everything they said it is now and more. I had fun with my friends, but I could have gone out with my friends that night and not spent the $$$

If the parents are so annoyed and think that they can do better then put the responsibility in their hands..how about one of those parents 'host' a party for 100 HS kids and accept the liability for what the majority of those kids do. Let's not forget that this is a Catholic HS that is almost $7000 a year to attend. These kids have money and their parents shower them with it. Drinking in HS is rampant and I rarely knew anyone I mean ANYONE who didn't drink (not get wasted), but just drink every weekend. I wasn't even popular...I'm talking regular kids. I think it is about time that a school do away with such a terrible tradition. The entire thing is a filled with rejection, insecurity, stress, showmanship, vanity, pretentiousness...I mean these are qualities we hate in most people and spend our lives overcoming. Anyway...these kids don't need a prom.
The school itself is amazing and I spent 4 great years there. The senior trip is plenty and in 5 years these same kids who bemoan the loss of prom now won't give a crap. I truly believe the parents who are so angry are the same parents who live 'vicariously' through their kids anyway.

wow...alittle bit of a rant
Hamptonsbride06 Posted:

Re: kellenberg prom cancelled

ok showing how young i am again..my prom was in 2003...my parents paid for my boyfriend(now my fh) and 6 of my friends to spend the rest of the weekend at disney world..prom was the thursday before memorial day weekend, and we were off fri-mon..it was great we had a blast...and nobody called it an orgy...i highly doubt thats what they are doing...come on hs kids dont want to get naked in front of each other in the locker room, they arent having group sex...hs kids talk a lot of trash..they brag to make themselves sound cooler...and the rumors get around, by the time it got to the faculty it had snow balled...this whole story just makes me laugh

EvaLution333 Posted:

Re: kellenberg prom cancelled

My sister went to Kellenberg, and she is absolutely FUMING about this. She hated it there-- she said the brothers tried to take away all of the students' rights (and keep in mind, she graduated over 10 years ago!).

I understand their point about why they will no longer sponsor the prom, and I agree with it to a certain degree-- BUT, when it comes down to it, they should not cancel the prom due to things that go on AFTERWARDS. As much as they would like to control the students, they can only control them AT the prom, not AFTER it is over.
Sweetd Posted:

Re: kellenberg prom cancelled

I heard about that. That is sillY that they canceled it!

carlsbride Posted:

Re: kellenberg prom cancelled

I think the administration was right to cancel the prom. It is a shame that the behavior of some people ruin it for others, but that is the way it goes in life also. The fact that it is a Catholic HS is even more reason for the Principal to take a stand. I don't know what the mission of the Marianist order is, but I am sure it is not just to educate, but to foster morals, compassion, etc. If the administration is aware of what is going on AFTER a school event and it is as bad as the article says, they have an obligation to not be a part of it (by hosting the event that prompts it).

This will maybe get the message to these parents that this type of behavior will do little to help their children become moral, responsible adults. For those parents that disagree and do not see the value in the message the Principal is trying to get across, they should take their $7,000 and send their kid to a different school. Morally, society is on a down hill slide. I am afraid to think what it will be like when my kids are growing up.

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