i know this came out awhile ago, but there is an artilce in the NYtimes today.
the school cancelled because of pre and post prom activites - they call the after prom parties 'orgies.' the article states that the school is holding parents responsible - they are renting houses in the hamptons and some houses, ok, all houses, have booze and whatnot. so the kids are understandly upset. from where i stand, i can see where they'd be annoyed, but at the same time, i see where the school is coming from.
of course if this happened when i was there, i know i'd see this differently.
thoughts?
article: UNIONDALE, N.Y. (AP) -- Brother Kenneth M. Hoagland had heard all the stories about prom-night debauchery at his Long Island high school: Students putting down $10,000 to rent a party house in the Hamptons. Pre-prom cocktail parties followed by a trip to the dance in a liquor-loaded limo. Fathers chartering a boat for their children's late-night ''booze cruise.''
Enough was enough, Hoagland said. So the principal of Kellenberg Memorial High School canceled the spring prom in a 2,000-word letter to parents this fall.
''It is not primarily the sex/booze/drugs that surround this event, as problematic as they might be; it is rather the flaunting of affluence, assuming exaggerated expenses, a pursuit of vanity for vanity's sake -- in a word, financial decadence,'' Hoagland said, fed up with what he called the ''bacchanalian aspects.''
''Each year it gets worse -- becomes more exaggerated, more expensive, more emotionally traumatic,'' he added. ''We are withdrawing from the battle and allowing the parents full responsibility. (Kellenberg) is willing to sponsor a prom, but not an orgy.''
The move brought a mixed, albeit passionate, reaction from students and parents at the Roman Catholic school, which is owned by the Society of Mary (Marianists), a religious order of priests and brothers.
''I don't think it's fair, obviously, that they canceled prom,'' said senior Alyssa Johnson of Westbury. ''There are problems with the prom, but I don't think their reasons or the actions they took solved anything.''
Hoagland began talking about the future of the prom last spring after 46 Kellenberg seniors made a $10,000 down payment on a $20,000 rental in the Hamptons for a post-prom party. When school officials found out, they forced the students to cancel the deal; the kids got their money back and the prom went on as planned.
But some parents went ahead and rented a Hamptons house anyway, Hoagland said.
Amy Best, an associate professor of sociology and anthropology at George Mason University in Virginia and the author of ''Prom Night: Youth, Schools and Popular Culture,'' said this is the first time she has heard of a school canceling the prom for such reasons.
''A lot of people have lamented the growing consumption that surrounds the prom,'' she said, noting it is not uncommon for students to pay $1,000 on the dance and surrounding folderol: expensive dresses, tuxedo rentals, flowers, limousines, pre- and post-prom parties.
Best pinned some of the blame for the burgeoning costs on parents, who are often willing to open their wallets for whatever their child demands. ''It is a huge misperception that the kids themselves are totally driving this.''
Edward Lawson, the father of a Kellenberg senior, said he and other parents are discussing whether to organize a prom without the sponsorship of the 2,500-student school.
''This is my fourth child to go through Kellenberg and I don't think they have a right to judge what goes on after the prom,'' he said. ''They put everybody in the category of drinkers and drug addicts. I don't believe that's the right thing to do.''
Some parents waiting to pick up their children on a recent afternoon said they support Hoagland.
''The school has excellent values,'' said Margaret Cameron of Plainview. ''We send our children here because we support the values and the administration of the school and I totally back everything they do.''
Hoagland said in an interview that parents, who pay $6,025 in annual tuition, have expressed appreciation for his stern stand. ''For some, it (the letter) was an eye-opener,'' he said. ''Others feel relieved that the pressure is off of them.''
Chris Laine, a senior from Rockville Centre, said the cancellation was ''unfortunate, but you can't really argue with the facts they present. ... It's just what it's evolved into. It's not what it was 20, 30 or 40 years ago. It's turned into something it wasn't originally intended to be.''
Besides, Laine noted, the senior class still has a four-day trip to Disney World scheduled for April.
''We go to all the parks with our friends,'' he said just before hopping into his jet-black Infiniti and driving off to meet friends for an after-school snack. ''We fly down together and stay in the same hotel and so it's not like we're totally losing everything.''
kam29
Posted:
Member since
Re: kellenberg prom cancelled
It totally stinks about cancelling the prom but I feel like I have to stick up for some parents here- mine and my friends parents knew that we were drinking at the prom and other points in HS. They didn't encourage or promote it. There weren't trying to have us think that they were cool. They simply knew that kids are kids, that things are going to go on beyond their control and that if anything ever happened that we could call them and not be afraid. If I was ever uncomfortable in a situation, I would call my Mom and ask her to come and get me. Hopefully I can be as understanding as my parents were when I have children.
It's just really unfortunate that the students don't have the option of the prom. Some people hate prom, some love it. But at least we could decide if we wanted to go or not.
sarahthegreat
Posted:
Member since
Re: kellenberg prom cancelled
Posted by AmyMarie
I totally support the school...and hell I wish they cancelled my prom (sorry Sarah). It sucked and it was everything they said it is now and more. I had fun with my friends, but I could have gone out with my friends that night and not spent the $$$
If the parents are so annoyed and think that they can do better then put the responsibility in their hands..how about one of those parents 'host' a party for 100 HS kids and accept the liability for what the majority of those kids do. Let's not forget that this is a Catholic HS that is almost $7000 a year to attend. These kids have money and their parents shower them with it. Drinking in HS is rampant and I rarely knew anyone I mean ANYONE who didn't drink (not get wasted), but just drink every weekend. I wasn't even popular...I'm talking regular kids. I think it is about time that a school do away with such a terrible tradition. The entire thing is a filled with rejection, insecurity, stress, showmanship, vanity, pretentiousness...I mean these are qualities we hate in most people and spend our lives overcoming. Anyway...these kids don't need a prom. The school itself is amazing and I spent 4 great years there. The senior trip is plenty and in 5 years these same kids who bemoan the loss of prom now won't give a crap. I truly believe the parents who are so angry are the same parents who live 'vicariously' through their kids anyway.
wow...alittle bit of a rant
hey amy - i don't disagree. our prom sucked. if i could get back my $$ now i would. and we got jipped - we got no 'senior trip.' i'd rather that, then the prom.
however, i'm just upset that those kids don't get to have that memory. good or bad.
i see the schools point and the kids were given the opportunity to straighten up and fly right, but we all know how it goes - in one ear....
McSulllivan
Posted:
Member since
Re: kellenberg prom cancelled
Posted by smm2675
Posted by AmyMarie
I totally support the school...and hell I wish they cancelled my prom (sorry Sarah). It sucked and it was everything they said it is now and more. I had fun with my friends, but I could have gone out with my friends that night and not spent the $$$
If the parents are so annoyed and think that they can do better then put the responsibility in their hands..how about one of those parents 'host' a party for 100 HS kids and accept the liability for what the majority of those kids do. Let's not forget that this is a Catholic HS that is almost $7000 a year to attend. These kids have money and their parents shower them with it. Drinking in HS is rampant and I rarely knew anyone I mean ANYONE who didn't drink (not get wasted), but just drink every weekend. I wasn't even popular...I'm talking regular kids. I think it is about time that a school do away with such a terrible tradition. The entire thing is a filled with rejection, insecurity, stress, showmanship, vanity, pretentiousness...I mean these are qualities we hate in most people and spend our lives overcoming. Anyway...these kids don't need a prom. The school itself is amazing and I spent 4 great years there. The senior trip is plenty and in 5 years these same kids who bemoan the loss of prom now won't give a crap. I truly believe the parents who are so angry are the same parents who live 'vicariously' through their kids anyway.
wow...alittle bit of a rant
hey amy - i don't disagree. our prom sucked. if i could get back my $$ now i would. and we got jipped - we got no 'senior trip.' i'd rather that, then the prom.
however, i'm just upset that those kids don't get to have that memory. good or bad.
i see the schools point and the kids were given the opportunity to straighten up and fly right, but we all know how it goes - in one ear....
Sorry to burst onto your board!
Okay, my fellow '93 Kellenberg Alum! I have to disagree, I had a great time at our prom - but my sister, who went to the same one, with one of our classmates, had a horrible time.
Listen, they canceled our Junior prom. We had that Ring Banquet thing instead. Looking back on it, that was fine. I enjoyed myself.
Also, I honestly didn't drink until I was 21, so there's one person that you 'know' that didn't drink at all. Not a sip. (Okay, so I was a bit of a Puritan in High School, but there you are.)
I completely agree with the school. It's not like the parents and the kids didn't have any warning. You get to a point where you finally have to do what you say you're going to do. I agree with Amy, if the parents want to put $10,000 down on a house in the Hamptons, let them put that money towards a prom that isn't affiliated with the school.
I got a little long winded!
Love_my_Freddybear
Posted:
Member since
Re: kellenberg prom cancelled
I don't know what to think. I think it's good then I feel bad...in a way.
IMO teenagers these days (most NOT all) are so out of control. We didn't do half of the stuff that they do now.
But then again, they are going to do what they want, when they want regardless of what anyone says or thinks.
So I think it has it's pros and cons just like everything else in life has.
Stopping the prom is not going to stop them from doing it any other day...so now I changed my answer to...they should just let them have the prom.
ambersmom
Posted:
Member since
Re: kellenberg prom cancelled
Posted by AmyMarie
I totally support the school...and hell I wish they cancelled my prom (sorry Sarah). It sucked and it was everything they said it is now and more. I had fun with my friends, but I could have gone out with my friends that night and not spent the $$$
If the parents are so annoyed and think that they can do better then put the responsibility in their hands..how about one of those parents 'host' a party for 100 HS kids and accept the liability for what the majority of those kids do. Let's not forget that this is a Catholic HS that is almost $7000 a year to attend. These kids have money and their parents shower them with it. Drinking in HS is rampant and I rarely knew anyone I mean ANYONE who didn't drink (not get wasted), but just drink every weekend. I wasn't even popular...I'm talking regular kids. I think it is about time that a school do away with such a terrible tradition. The entire thing is a filled with rejection, insecurity, stress, showmanship, vanity, pretentiousness...I mean these are qualities we hate in most people and spend our lives overcoming. Anyway...these kids don't need a prom. The school itself is amazing and I spent 4 great years there. The senior trip is plenty and in 5 years these same kids who bemoan the loss of prom now won't give a crap. I truly believe the parents who are so angry are the same parents who live 'vicariously' through their kids anyway.
wow...alittle bit of a rant
BRAVO-BRAVO!!
kr2913
Posted:
Member since
Re: kellenberg prom cancelled
Posted by ambersmom
Posted by AmyMarie
I totally support the school...and hell I wish they cancelled my prom (sorry Sarah). It sucked and it was everything they said it is now and more. I had fun with my friends, but I could have gone out with my friends that night and not spent the $$$
If the parents are so annoyed and think that they can do better then put the responsibility in their hands..how about one of those parents 'host' a party for 100 HS kids and accept the liability for what the majority of those kids do. Let's not forget that this is a Catholic HS that is almost $7000 a year to attend. These kids have money and their parents shower them with it. Drinking in HS is rampant and I rarely knew anyone I mean ANYONE who didn't drink (not get wasted), but just drink every weekend. I wasn't even popular...I'm talking regular kids. I think it is about time that a school do away with such a terrible tradition. The entire thing is a filled with rejection, insecurity, stress, showmanship, vanity, pretentiousness...I mean these are qualities we hate in most people and spend our lives overcoming. Anyway...these kids don't need a prom. The school itself is amazing and I spent 4 great years there. The senior trip is plenty and in 5 years these same kids who bemoan the loss of prom now won't give a crap. I truly believe the parents who are so angry are the same parents who live 'vicariously' through their kids anyway.
wow...alittle bit of a rant
BRAVO-BRAVO!!
I agree with you 100%. Its the parents that they have to blame.
thefirstlady
Posted:
Member since
Re: kellenberg prom cancelled
I can't believe that story! Esp. since when it was my prom, the limos didn't allow any alcohol, and I got an hour long lecture from the great adventure bus driver that if anyone did anything wrong on that bus, he'd turn it around and go back home! But seriously, I doubt those kids are learning anything from having their prom cancelled. Except how to plan their own prom!
