Kids at Wedding (Vent)

knm1204 Posted: Mar 20, 2007 04:21 PM

Kids at Wedding (Vent)

The inviations just went in the mail yesterday. No one has even received them yet. But it is already starting. My FI and I decided we wanted an adult only reception. FI's mother calls him today and says that his cousin want to bring their 3 kids. All under the age of 10. I don't even think the oldest is 10 yet. Because his cousin's husband doesn't like to leave them with anyone. I think it is unfair for people to ask you this. It puts you in a very awkward situation. Did anyone else have to deal with this and how did you deal? Thanks so much.

GrkItalWedding Posted: Mar 20, 2007 04:24 PM

Re: Kids at Wedding (Vent)

Sorry to hear that you are having trouble with this.

I havent had personal experience with this, but my feeling is that you and your FH have made a decision, so now how can you start making exceptions for certain people's kids without having your other guests get upset when they notice them the night of the wedding?

I say stick to your guns and tell them that you and FH want it this way.

Good luck!

vintagegirl Posted: Mar 20, 2007 04:24 PM

Re: Kids at Wedding (Vent)

we did.. we just say no and if they can't come not our problem..

erdbeere Posted: Mar 20, 2007 04:27 PM

Re: Kids at Wedding (Vent)

If you don't want kids at the wedding thats fine, but you have to be prepared for alot of people to get upset and maybe take it personally. All you can do is stick with your decision because if you allow 1 kid you have to allow them all.

dianadrw Posted: Mar 20, 2007 04:36 PM

Re: Kids at Wedding (Vent)

This is such a tough situation and one I am dreading dealing with. I have already had people ask if they can bring their kids. We really didn't want to have loads of kids at the wedding. However, we are having our flower girl and ring bearers. We have also made exceptions for people traveling from out of town (not that many). We are trying to be accommodating, but we are also trying to be fair.

MJDoc12 Posted: Mar 20, 2007 04:41 PM

Re: Kids at Wedding (Vent)

BE STRONG!!!!!

you MUST stand your ground. trust me, I KNOW! i went thru this for TWO YEARS of planning and i had countless fights..but in the end, DH and i got what we wanted and no chidlren except my FG was allowed.

it really pissses me off that ppl think they have a right to TELL YOU who they are bringing to YOUR wedding! sometimes i think ppl are so selfish in saying 'well i HAVE to bring my kids because i don't LIKE leaving them anywhere' get over yourself....you have ample notice and this is a WEDDING where the have come to a mutual decision. if you can't handle it...then don't come!

this is only the beginning...and i wish i could tell you it will get better. but these ppl will try and be slick and say yes, and then you might get a few that at the LAST minute say they can't find a sitter and ask to bring their kids and pull the old 'if they can't come, i can't come'

DH's brother tried that shiiiit and it didn't fly. no one bullies us!

jessruth9 Posted: Mar 20, 2007 04:42 PM

Re: Kids at Wedding (Vent)

It's actually a common problem. All you have to do is explain that this is the choice you have made and you hope they can respect that. Stand firm and know that some people will get upset but you have to stand by your decision.

lisalisa27 Posted: Mar 20, 2007 04:43 PM

Re: Kids at Wedding (Vent)

Posted by MJDoc12

BE STRONG!!!!!

you MUST stand your ground. trust me, I KNOW! i went thru this for TWO YEARS of planning and i had countless fights..but in the end, DH and i got what we wanted and no chidlren except my FG was allowed.

it really pissses me off that ppl think they have a right to TELL YOU who they are bringing to YOUR wedding! sometimes i think ppl are so selfish in saying 'well i HAVE to bring my kids because i don't LIKE leaving them anywhere' get over yourself....you have ample notice and this is a WEDDING where the have come to a mutual decision. if you can't handle it...then don't come!

this is only the beginning...and i wish i could tell you it will get better. but these ppl will try and be slick and say yes, and then you might get a few that at the LAST minute say they can't find a sitter and ask to bring their kids and pull the old 'if they can't come, i can't come'

DH's brother tried that shiiiit and it didn't fly. no one bullies us!

Well said I feel the same way. Who is paying for this.

MnM52607 Posted: Mar 20, 2007 04:43 PM

Re: Kids at Wedding (Vent)

Same thing here. The invitations hadn't even gone out when we got our first phone call. My cousin wanted to know if his kids were invited (4 years old and 2 years old). Sorry, no kids at my wedding. It is getting to be too expensive as it is. We got his repsonse card back yesterday saying they didn't have anyone to watch the kids.

MJDoc12 Posted: Mar 20, 2007 04:45 PM

Re: Kids at Wedding (Vent)

Posted by MnM52607

Same thing here. The invitations hadn't even gone out when we got our first phone call. My cousin wanted to know if his kids were invited (4 years old and 2 years old). Sorry, no kids at my wedding. It is getting to be too expensive as it is. We got his repsonse card back yesterday saying they didn't have anyone to watch the kids.

omg...can i just tell you how ghetto an ex-friend was (she wound up not being invited to the wedding over her pettiness and drama)

we sent out the STD's and she calls me and is like 'Lil Johnny wants to know if he's invited!' Yeah right biotch...cause your 3 yr old knows how to read and saw the STD and asked.

when i said no, she had the BALLS to pull her mouth away from the phone (but i was still able to hear -- slick biitch) 'I'm sorry papi...Uncle Pete and Titi Melissa said you CAN'T GO! They don't want you there, its adults only!'

ppl suuuck!

rkl1130 Posted: Mar 20, 2007 04:47 PM

Re: Kids at Wedding (Vent)

This is a tough situation--thankfully FH, me and all the parents agreed that this is a 'no.'

I have been very adamant about no kids being at the wedding--it's not really the proper time or place for them. If my parents left us with someone when they had one to go to, then other parents can do it as well.

Stand your ground. This is your wedding and people need to respect the decisions you've made for it.

knm1204 Posted: Mar 20, 2007 04:47 PM

Re: Kids at Wedding (Vent)

I don't have alot of family or friends with kids but I already told my 1 friend that it was adult only. She wasn't really asking to bring them it just came up in conversation about another wedding she went to. We aren't even having a flower girl or ring bearer because of this. I will be strong and hold my ground. I just hate when people put you into this position. I also wish FH would of just told his mother NO when he got the call.

MnM52607 Posted: Mar 20, 2007 04:47 PM

Re: Kids at Wedding (Vent)

Posted by MJDoc12

Posted by MnM52607

Same thing here. The invitations hadn't even gone out when we got our first phone call. My cousin wanted to know if his kids were invited (4 years old and 2 years old). Sorry, no kids at my wedding. It is getting to be too expensive as it is. We got his repsonse card back yesterday saying they didn't have anyone to watch the kids.

omg...can i just tell you how ghetto an ex-friend was (she wound up not being invited to the wedding over her pettiness and drama)

we sent out the STD's and she calls me and is like 'Lil Johnny wants to know if he's invited!' Yeah right biotch...cause your 3 yr old knows how to read and saw the STD and asked.

when i said no, she had the BALLS to pull her mouth away from the phone (but i was still able to hear -- slick biitch) 'I'm sorry papi...Uncle Pete and Titi Melissa said you CAN'T GO! They don't want you there, its adults only!'

ppl suuuck!

Tell me about it. They have her mom and sister who can babysit. I think they are just being spiteful now.

tink79 Posted: Mar 20, 2007 04:47 PM

Re: Kids at Wedding (Vent)

Stick to your guns. I'm a while away from that but I'm dreading it. FMIL asked if we were inviting kids. I told her the only kids that will be there will be my first cousins other then them no kids. we'll see what happens in a few months! Good luck!

MF9282 Posted: Mar 20, 2007 04:57 PM

Re: Kids at Wedding (Vent)

Ughhh tell them no I adore children but ya know the invite would say to Mr. & Mrs...and family if kids were invited!!!!!!!!! Therefore stop putting people on the spot!!!

(Vent over eek) Tell them no !

FullersBride Posted: Mar 20, 2007 05:33 PM

Re: Kids at Wedding (Vent)

AGREED

mskittynj Posted: Mar 20, 2007 06:24 PM

Re: Kids at Wedding (Vent)

A lot of people have those issues! You are not alone sista!!! It is unfair to ask someone when they know you are having an adult only reception. Politely decline the kids if you say yes to one you have to say yes to all!!!!
XOXOXO
Kitty

cmrcmr0430 Posted: Mar 20, 2007 06:26 PM

Re: Kids at Wedding (Vent)

UUMMMMM...Who's wedding is it!!!?? No kids...That's what I would say!!!!

evnme Posted: Mar 20, 2007 06:28 PM

Re: Kids at Wedding (Vent)

we also had an adults only reception.
we made it very clear from the start (my mom called my cousins that have young children to let them know way before the invites even went out) that no children under the age of 21 would be invited.

it also helped that my cousin who got married 6 weeks before us had the same policy.