Kids coming to the wedding!!!!!!!!

Ladies I need to vent! Sorry if this is long…

When FH and I started planning for our wedding from the start I stated that we should have no kids at the wedding because our guest list was too big and we did not want any kids running around our wedding. The only exception was FSIL’s 3 kids because the youngest will be the flower girl, but she will be nine by then. Well FH stated that he’s nephew and cousin who live in the house should be there too and I stated they are too young (they are two and three) and these kids are a TERROR!

Well my point was proven the day of our surprise engagement party when FSIL brought her three kids, his aunt who came over an hour and a half late brought two out of her four kids AND the two year old and 3 year old were there too. Mind you his aunts older kids who are in the bridal party didn’t show up. I didn’t make a big deal, but everyone was told this would be a small engagement and please no kids. WELLL the kids ran around all night and caused a raucous all nite. That nite FH realized this was not going to work. VICTORY right? UMMMMM NO!

SO remember the aunt who came late, well I guess she didn’t like our no kids allowed rule and FH told me all the kids had to come. We argued and fought but no dice! I lost that one.

Now last nite FH tells me his sister whose kids are already invited stated that how dare we say the little ones can not come, they are not just kids they are family. When he explained that the only kid on my side in the wedding out of the 30 something kids in my family was my nephew and that we had an agreement to be fair, she proceeded to say there is a difference between cousins and nephews and since my family is bigger they have a right to invite their kids. ***!!!!! I was livid. So to make a long story short all SEVEN of these kids will be there and I can’t do anything about! They basically made their desicison and put FH in the middle of it and since he doesn’t like confrontation is reasoning was ‘We argued for over an hour and I realized this is a battle I can’t win with my family.’
I can’t even be mad at him cause his family knew this from the beginning but plotted the whole time to have these kids at the wedding. If I didn’t already spend so much money I would have called it off last nite! I’m sick and tired of people thinking this is a show!

And the best part is that her reasoning is that when the kids grow up and see pics of the wedding they are going to wonder why they aren’t there! Oh and it gets better how about ‘this may be the only chance they get to go to a big wedding’ since his other siblings will most likely not get married or have a big wedding! ***!! Since when did this turn into a production?! Ahhhh I can’t take it ladies, this is only the beginning Pandora’s box is officially opened!

Well, I don't know if I should be answering this , seeing as how I HATE kids.

I do have to say that it is your wedding and you should be able to say who should come and who shouldn't. Kids are a big deal b/c they can cause all sorts of disturbance during the ceremony and other things. I just don't like it.


Maybe you can compromise since you are sort of forced into it. Maybe you can find someone to babysit the kids in the bridal suite all night??? This way they aren't running around and they can still be there for pictures?????

Or just lock them in a closet somwhere lol that is my true answer :)

Sorry you are going through this :( It *****. I have a few people who have young children, under 2 years old, and I really don't want them bringing their kids. I don't want to hear babies crying. I seriously will walk up to the person and ask them to step out until the baby is done crying lol

I know its harsh..but I don't like it. I am sure they can find a baby sitter for ONE night. All I can say is, if there isn't much you can do about it, just try to let it go.

What can you do? You can A) fight it and start a huge fight, or B) just let it go and try not to let it bother you soo much :( You have other things to worry about and its honestly not going to ruin your day. :( Don't let it.

OMG! So unfair! I couldnt imagine what I would do if something like this were to happen to me. And I know that it will... and when it does oh boy it is NOT going to be pretty. im the type that wont let anyone change my mind. If I have to a a devil bride then so be it because although i love kids, they are not going to be running around all night and embarrassing themselves,and me. thats why they all stay home.... Except the FG and the RB. But they wont be so little as to not understand how important it is to be good. Ill bribe them if its what it comes down to. im evil I know

The only way we have solved this (so far) is that kids are welcome at the ceremony (which is at the RH), then after that - bye bye - they gotta go home.

By the way, I do have a flower girl, and she'll be 3 at the time. She will be leaving as well as her older brothers, who are coming for the ceremony and my nephews. I have spoken with all of their parents who have agreed. Their response was that it actually gives them a chance to have a good time.

There will be no children at the CH or reception.

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.Well, I don't know if I should be answering this , seeing as how I HATE kids.




The first line had me rolling on the floor!

I have begun to simmer down a bit but it will take awhile as I thought this was resolved months ago! They will not get a babysitter because they refuse and the kids are spoiled and would have a fit. But thanks for the laugh I appreciate. Hopefully you will have better luck on your end

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Posted by barbtony

The only way we have solved this (so far) is that kids are welcome at the ceremony (which is at the RH), then after that - bye bye - they gotta go home.

By the way, I do have a flower girl, and she'll be 3 at the time. She will be leaving as well as her older brothers, who are coming for the ceremony and my nephews. I have spoken with all of their parents who have agreed. Their response was that it actually gives them a chance to have a good time.

There will be no children at the CH or reception.

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If only it could be soo easy! I'm happy you were able to come to a resolution. but there is no compromise with this situation. I told FH to keep this kids away from the entire night and so help me G O D if I hear one peep it's on. I'm having my mom and my coordinator on them like white on rice!

Wow, they wont get a baby sitter. OMG I am so mad FOR you. I really wish it was okay to punch people in the face and not get in trouble for it lol

I think you should make them sit in the bridal suite with the kids for the rest of the night lol So that they are out of the way lol I would be evil enough to say 'you wanted them to come, so you have to make sure you watch them'

I am sorry, I am not nice when it comes to people telling me how things are and that is that.

And 'We have a bigger family than you'. That is just classic....*insert punch in face smiley here* lol

oh boy .

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Posted by Future_Farrell

Wow, they wont get a baby sitter. OMG I am so mad FOR you. I really wish it was okay to punch people in the face and not get in trouble for it lol

I think you should make them sit in the bridal suite with the kids for the rest of the night lol So that they are out of the way lol I would be evil enough to say 'you wanted them to come, so you have to make sure you watch them'

I am sorry, I am not nice when it comes to people telling me how things are and that is that.

And 'We have a bigger family than you'. That is just classic....*insert punch in face smiley here* lol

oh boy .

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Aww man! you are the greatest! You want to speak to my in laws? Don't get me wrong
I don't back down for anyone! I'm pretty sure I was 1 digit of telling FSIL about hereself! But I have to deal with them for the next hundred years so I'm gonna suck it up and keep the peace. (For now )

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Posted by abrennan01

I don't understand people. It's your wedding! Are you paying for it? If so, then you have the right to invite who you want. FH needs to back you up on this one I think. People can throw their tantrums but ultimately, it's up to you and FH and unless FH really wants them there for some reason (and not that he's getting grief from his family), then they shouldn't be there. FH needs to be a man and stand up to his family for his wife's feelings.

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And that's another thing! It's not even about the money because I'm not paying for a two year old! I refuse! They are not going to eat the food! They figure since they are making some contributions they can reek havoc and invite their kids! Oh they are sadly mistaken I have a few things up my sleeve!

FH is like that and he is not going to fight anymore and I don't expect him to because nothing else can be said.

I don't blame you I'd be pissed off too. This is your wedding and you have every rite in the world to not want those terrible children causing nonstop issues at your wedding. I mean it'd be one thing if they slightly behaved but the fact that not a damn person has respected anything even at your engagement party is just absurd. I'd be furious at FH if he didn't stand up to his famiyl and simply say 'I said NO, respect that or dont come either.' People are so unbelievable sometimes, they only worry about themselves. In the end those kids wont look at pics and wonder why they weren't there, they won't even care. I mean what kid really wants to go to these things anyway?!

You have every rite to rant... all hell would have broke loose if it was me

that just made me sooooo mad to read!!! There's no way something like that should slide. My FH is the same way, doesn't like the confrontations, but i have NO PROBLEM standing up for myself. Hell no, I am having NO kids at mine. i don't even wanna hear the stupid excuses. How dare that woman act like her kids have a right to be there. It's not even normal for children to be invited to weddings. I remember my parents ALWAYS going to weddings when i was little, and me & my sisters always stayed home with the babysitter. That's just expected. It's not about 'Family' or 'Pictures' or even just 'Being their only big wedding'. Those are all the stupidest reasons I've ever heard. She just doesn't wanna get a babysitter, and i have a feeling that she's one of those annoying types that just LOVES drama! I have one of those in FH's family. I hate people like that - who just like to stir up issues where there are none. It's so childish.

I mean, it's up to you completely what you wanna do with this. If it were me, I'd never let that slide though. It's YOUR wedding ,so it'll be done the way YOU want. That's not 'Bridezilla' of you - it's just common sense. Nobody should be trying to control you & FH's decisions.

Jeez. I can't believe how mad i got about this. lol. Probably because i've had to deal with nonsense myself.

I completely agree with you. I think it is rather rude for anyone (even family) to tell you who is coming to the wedding.

I am not inviting any children to the wedding. I put my foot down and already got slack.
FH's brother is upset that his daughter (who will be 5 by the time of the wedding) isn't invited or in my bridal party. His response was 'that's just fowl'. FH's brother paraded to the whole family (not in front of us) that his no kids thing is absurd and that I'm controling. He brought up that my cousin is in my BP. But my cousin is also 12 and will 14 by the wedding, I don't consider that a kid. BTW FH even told his brother he doesn't want children at the wedding.
Our reasons are simple.
1. We are on a budget. I'm not paying $45 for a kid ot take 2 bites of what is given to them.
2. I want the adults to be able to cut loose, relax & enjoy themselves instead of chasing their rugrats around all night.

I think people need to shut up and get a sitter for one damn night. I refuse to budge.

Get one of those 'You must be this high to come ot the wedding' signs to hangout side like the ones at the amusement park

I'm posting under an assumed name, that's how crazy this has gotten in my household. If someone were to read it, the family ties would be forever frayed.

This post just COMPLETELY infuriated me, because I am going through somewhat the same thing.

I am not a big fan of kids, so I don’t want ANY at my wedding. My FH has three nephews. One is NOT EVEN TWO. He insists he wants them at the wedding. He KNOWS how I feel about kids, so I understand that if he’s insisting, it’s because it’s important to him.

My brother and his nightmare wife have a kid. Now, she is one of those women whose kid is her entire identity. She has NOTHING in her life besides this kid. It’s unfortunate, because she used to actually have a life. Now, please understand that I’m not saying that she’s useless because she’s a stay at home mom- my best friend is a stay at home mom and I have nothing but respect for her and the job she does. But my SIL is a helicopter parent, and nothing in the world matters except for her kid. This is the type of broad who would dress her kid up in a white dress and veil and bring her to my wedding and try to steal the show. ANYWAY….

SIL corners me a few months ago and says “I hear you don’t want kids at the wedding. Of COURSE you don’t mean ‘Jessica’! I mean, she’s your NIECE for God’s sake!” I honestly couldn’t believe it. I said, “It’s a night wedding, from 6 to midnight! She’s not even going to be awake!” She says “She goes to sleep at 10:30!”

This girl’s 3. Basically, that means that SIL keeps this kid up because she has nothing to do when she’s not awake.

PS- a whole family brawl ensues. NOW, because SIL and FH are insisting on these kids, I have to have ALL kids, including my cousin’s kids, who are absolute animals. I’m talking bloodshed, tantrums, the whole bit. I’m so f’ing infuriated about this that I want to cancel the whole thing. I am so mad about it, that I know that during the ceremony, I won’t even be paying attention- I will be clenched up there waiting for one of these kids to start talking or crying or even screaming, and their idiot and inconsiderate parents will just sit there, because there’s no WAY that anyone could possibly be annoyed at the sounds their little angel makes.

Bitter, party of one?

And I have to admit, part of me is so mad about this because I can’t believe my SIL will get her way over mine at my own wedding. And my parents are begging me to have the kids to just keep the family peace. They say that if I don’t invite my niece, then my SIL’s parents won’t come to the wedding because they’ll have to watch the kid, and it will be a whole family fight for years to come.

MY thing is, we don’t even LIKE these people! My brother’s MIL is such a rude woman, (not to mention she has enough hair on her upper lip to make a rope ladder and climb out of a skyscraper) then why do we even CARE? Why would we give them their WAY?? I don’t even WANT them at the wedding. It’s just so ridiculous, and now I’m SO mad, I’m going to go eat some carbs and catapult myself into a sugar coma the likes of which most reasonable people have never seen. Pass the bagels, bit**es, I’m pissed.

chat avatar twin

it would be very hard to say to kids especially when its family.. but get FH to talk to them so they won't get mad at you..

Umm... please don't take offense to this, but you need to grow a bigger set of balls. UNLESS his family is paying for the wedding, there is no reason why they should have any say in this matter.

My FH has 5 brothers and sisters between the ages of 1- 10 years old. ONLY the ten year old will be coming to the reception, and thats only b.c he behaves like a little old man. Everyone else is going home after the ceremony.

I have already P i s s ed off many family members, but i told them that I didnt want ANY kids at my wedding. I am actually even debating inviting 3 of my cousins that are 15 years old.

I went to my aunts wedding over the summer and of course she invited the kids in the fam.... and it was TERRIBLE. They were soooo annoying!

It is a very touchy subject, in the end we ended up inviting those that we had to invite.. like OOTers, you can't ask them to leave their child at home when they come for the weekend..

there were some who called my dad and told him how come children can't come because they love to see weddings since they haven't seen one yet.. and the kids here were 4 and 6.. we avoided a whole bunch from my side but DH's family just couldn't.. most of the children behaved.. i was honestly suprised.. and they all had a good time.. but there were these 2 boys that are known to be little rascals.. running around between guests playing tag (i didn't see, i was told later) and my DOC took care of that right away..

so don't worry.. if you can't avoid them