When FH and I started planning for our wedding from the start I stated that we should have no kids at the wedding because our guest list was too big and we did not want any kids running around our wedding. The only exception was FSIL’s 3 kids because the youngest will be the flower girl, but she will be nine by then. Well FH stated that he’s nephew and cousin who live in the house should be there too and I stated they are too young (they are two and three) and these kids are a TERROR!
Well my point was proven the day of our surprise engagement party when FSIL brought her three kids, his aunt who came over an hour and a half late brought two out of her four kids AND the two year old and 3 year old were there too. Mind you his aunts older kids who are in the bridal party didn’t show up. I didn’t make a big deal, but everyone was told this would be a small engagement and please no kids. WELLL the kids ran around all night and caused a raucous all nite. That nite FH realized this was not going to work. VICTORY right? UMMMMM NO!
SO remember the aunt who came late, well I guess she didn’t like our no kids allowed rule and FH told me all the kids had to come. We argued and fought but no dice! I lost that one.
Now last nite FH tells me his sister whose kids are already invited stated that how dare we say the little ones can not come, they are not just kids they are family. When he explained that the only kid on my side in the wedding out of the 30 something kids in my family was my nephew and that we had an agreement to be fair, she proceeded to say there is a difference between cousins and nephews and since my family is bigger they have a right to invite their kids. ***!!!!! I was livid. So to make a long story short all SEVEN of these kids will be there and I can’t do anything about! They basically made their desicison and put FH in the middle of it and since he doesn’t like confrontation is reasoning was ‘We argued for over an hour and I realized this is a battle I can’t win with my family.’ I can’t even be mad at him cause his family knew this from the beginning but plotted the whole time to have these kids at the wedding. If I didn’t already spend so much money I would have called it off last nite! I’m sick and tired of people thinking this is a show!
And the best part is that her reasoning is that when the kids grow up and see pics of the wedding they are going to wonder why they aren’t there! Oh and it gets better how about ‘this may be the only chance they get to go to a big wedding’ since his other siblings will most likely not get married or have a big wedding! ***!! Since when did this turn into a production?! Ahhhh I can’t take it ladies, this is only the beginning Pandora’s box is officially opened!
SFAR89
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Re: Kids coming to the wedding!!!!!!!!
Posted by MrsLarrea2B
Umm... please don't take offense to this, but you need to grow a bigger set of balls. UNLESS his family is paying for the wedding, there is no reason why they should have any say in this matter.
My FH has 5 brothers and sisters between the ages of 1- 10 years old. ONLY the ten year old will be coming to the reception, and thats only b.c he behaves like a little old man. Everyone else is going home after the ceremony.
I have already P i s s ed off many family members, but i told them that I didnt want ANY kids at my wedding. I am actually even debating inviting 3 of my cousins that are 15 years old.
I went to my aunts wedding over the summer and of course she invited the kids in the fam.... and it was TERRIBLE. They were soooo annoying!
I don't think she has a problem telling people off lol from what I have gathered, I think it just comes down to not creating more drama than there already is. I agree that she should tell them off, but they seem like the type of people that won't even care or listen to her and just create more drama.
I am not paying for children to come, so if people bring their children, they can sit on their laps for the evening and be reminded of how stupid they are lol
FallBride2010
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Re: Kids coming to the wedding!!!!!!!!
First of all, the comment about the kids enevr attending a big wedding is ridiculous! They will go to a ton of weddings when they get older...when it's appropriate for them to be there. I would tell FH that now you want to invite all 30 of the kids on your side. Of course you dont, but I'd probably threaten it...and then maybe he'll understand what a circus it could turn into! Not to mention you have to pay 1/2 price for these kids to eat chicken fingers!
MrsLarrea2B
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Re: Kids coming to the wedding!!!!!!!!
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I don't think she has a problem telling people off lol from what I have gathered, I think it just comes down to not creating more drama than there already is. I agree that she should tell them off, but they seem like the type of people that won't even care or listen to her and just create more drama.
I am not paying for children to come, so if people bring their children, they can sit on their laps for the evening and be reminded of how stupid they are lol
What I meant by the 'grow a bigger set' was that she should def. stand her ground and not give in to his family. Def. didnt mean she was a wuss or anything
This is how it starts, next thing you know his family will start butting in on how to raise her kids, and they should/not do...ugh. I just really hate people who make stupid demands.... especially when it's NOT their wedding.
You are funny, that is a good idea! Ok, bring your stupid kid, but have fun with the brat sitting on your lap. lol.
bluekat16
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Re: Kids coming to the wedding!!!!!!!!
AS I'm getting RSVP's I'm getting the 'kids' question. Basically we are only inviting immediate family and bridal party with children...so that's only our nieces an nephews, which are in the age range of 2 rs old-18 yrs. old. With just them we'll have 16 'kids' at the reception. Honestly both of the mother's of the two year old said they might ship them off after the ceremony or pictures so they can enjoy the night.
Now I don't hate children, but I think there should be boundries...if not it's a free for all. if I invited everyone with children my guest list would be out of control and we wouldn't be able to pay for the amount of people coming. I stood my ground with FH and his family and with my own friends and family who have asked about bringing kids.
I don't think that you and FH should be made to feel bad or guilted into letting kids come. I would just stand my ground.
mf2009
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Re: Kids coming to the wedding!!!!!!!!
Posted by brunbarb
I'm posting under an assumed name, that's how crazy this has gotten in my household. If someone were to read it, the family ties would be forever frayed.
This post just COMPLETELY infuriated me, because I am going through somewhat the same thing.
I am not a big fan of kids, so I don’t want ANY at my wedding. My FH has three nephews. One is NOT EVEN TWO. He insists he wants them at the wedding. He KNOWS how I feel about kids, so I understand that if he’s insisting, it’s because it’s important to him.
My brother and his nightmare wife have a kid. Now, she is one of those women whose kid is her entire identity. She has NOTHING in her life besides this kid. It’s unfortunate, because she used to actually have a life. Now, please understand that I’m not saying that she’s useless because she’s a stay at home mom- my best friend is a stay at home mom and I have nothing but respect for her and the job she does. But my SIL is a helicopter parent, and nothing in the world matters except for her kid. This is the type of broad who would dress her kid up in a white dress and veil and bring her to my wedding and try to steal the show. ANYWAY….
SIL corners me a few months ago and says “I hear you don’t want kids at the wedding. Of COURSE you don’t mean ‘Jessica’! I mean, she’s your NIECE for God’s sake!” I honestly couldn’t believe it. I said, “It’s a night wedding, from 6 to midnight! She’s not even going to be awake!” She says “She goes to sleep at 10:30!”
This girl’s 3. Basically, that means that SIL keeps this kid up because she has nothing to do when she’s not awake.
PS- a whole family brawl ensues. NOW, because SIL and FH are insisting on these kids, I have to have ALL kids, including my cousin’s kids, who are absolute animals. I’m talking bloodshed, tantrums, the whole bit. I’m so f’ing infuriated about this that I want to cancel the whole thing. I am so mad about it, that I know that during the ceremony, I won’t even be paying attention- I will be clenched up there waiting for one of these kids to start talking or crying or even screaming, and their idiot and inconsiderate parents will just sit there, because there’s no WAY that anyone could possibly be annoyed at the sounds their little angel makes.
Bitter, party of one?
And I have to admit, part of me is so mad about this because I can’t believe my SIL will get her way over mine at my own wedding. And my parents are begging me to have the kids to just keep the family peace. They say that if I don’t invite my niece, then my SIL’s parents won’t come to the wedding because they’ll have to watch the kid, and it will be a whole family fight for years to come.
MY thing is, we don’t even LIKE these people! My brother’s MIL is such a rude woman, (not to mention she has enough hair on her upper lip to make a rope ladder and climb out of a skyscraper) then why do we even CARE? Why would we give them their WAY?? I don’t even WANT them at the wedding. It’s just so ridiculous, and now I’m SO mad, I’m going to go eat some carbs and catapult myself into a sugar coma the likes of which most reasonable people have never seen. Pass the bagels, bit**es, I’m pissed.
Oh my!!!!! you ladies are great! this site is the only thing keeping my sanity!
mf2009
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Re: Kids coming to the wedding!!!!!!!!
Posted by Future_Farrell
Posted by MrsLarrea2B
Umm... please don't take offense to this, but you need to grow a bigger set of balls. UNLESS his family is paying for the wedding, there is no reason why they should have any say in this matter.
My FH has 5 brothers and sisters between the ages of 1- 10 years old. ONLY the ten year old will be coming to the reception, and thats only b.c he behaves like a little old man. Everyone else is going home after the ceremony.
I have already P i s s ed off many family members, but i told them that I didnt want ANY kids at my wedding. I am actually even debating inviting 3 of my cousins that are 15 years old.
I went to my aunts wedding over the summer and of course she invited the kids in the fam.... and it was TERRIBLE. They were soooo annoying!
I don't think she has a problem telling people off lol from what I have gathered, I think it just comes down to not creating more drama than there already is. I agree that she should tell them off, but they seem like the type of people that won't even care or listen to her and just create more drama.
I am not paying for children to come, so if people bring their children, they can sit on their laps for the evening and be reminded of how stupid they are lol
Which is exactly what I am doing! They can figure out how to balance a kid on their lap while cutting their steak. I have no problem telling people off because I have already, they are just clearly the type who don't seem to care and I am not letting them put a damper on my day. So they can figure out what to do.
KittyGags
Posted:
Member since
Re: Kids coming to the wedding!!!!!!!!
Posted by brunbarb
I'm posting under an assumed name, that's how crazy this has gotten in my household. If someone were to read it, the family ties would be forever frayed.
This post just COMPLETELY infuriated me, because I am going through somewhat the same thing.
I am not a big fan of kids, so I don’t want ANY at my wedding. My FH has three nephews. One is NOT EVEN TWO. He insists he wants them at the wedding. He KNOWS how I feel about kids, so I understand that if he’s insisting, it’s because it’s important to him.
My brother and his nightmare wife have a kid. Now, she is one of those women whose kid is her entire identity. She has NOTHING in her life besides this kid. It’s unfortunate, because she used to actually have a life. Now, please understand that I’m not saying that she’s useless because she’s a stay at home mom- my best friend is a stay at home mom and I have nothing but respect for her and the job she does. But my SIL is a helicopter parent, and nothing in the world matters except for her kid. This is the type of broad who would dress her kid up in a white dress and veil and bring her to my wedding and try to steal the show. ANYWAY….
SIL corners me a few months ago and says “I hear you don’t want kids at the wedding. Of COURSE you don’t mean ‘Jessica’! I mean, she’s your NIECE for God’s sake!” I honestly couldn’t believe it. I said, “It’s a night wedding, from 6 to midnight! She’s not even going to be awake!” She says “She goes to sleep at 10:30!”
This girl’s 3. Basically, that means that SIL keeps this kid up because she has nothing to do when she’s not awake.
PS- a whole family brawl ensues. NOW, because SIL and FH are insisting on these kids, I have to have ALL kids, including my cousin’s kids, who are absolute animals. I’m talking bloodshed, tantrums, the whole bit. I’m so f’ing infuriated about this that I want to cancel the whole thing. I am so mad about it, that I know that during the ceremony, I won’t even be paying attention- I will be clenched up there waiting for one of these kids to start talking or crying or even screaming, and their idiot and inconsiderate parents will just sit there, because there’s no WAY that anyone could possibly be annoyed at the sounds their little angel makes.
Bitter, party of one?
And I have to admit, part of me is so mad about this because I can’t believe my SIL will get her way over mine at my own wedding. And my parents are begging me to have the kids to just keep the family peace. They say that if I don’t invite my niece, then my SIL’s parents won’t come to the wedding because they’ll have to watch the kid, and it will be a whole family fight for years to come.
MY thing is, we don’t even LIKE these people! My brother’s MIL is such a rude woman, (not to mention she has enough hair on her upper lip to make a rope ladder and climb out of a skyscraper) then why do we even CARE? Why would we give them their WAY?? I don’t even WANT them at the wedding. It’s just so ridiculous, and now I’m SO mad, I’m going to go eat some carbs and catapult myself into a sugar coma the likes of which most reasonable people have never seen. Pass the bagels, bit**es, I’m pissed.
I'm sorry but this is one of the funniest posts I've ever read, I am DYING laughing!
GinaZ
Posted:
Member since
Re: Kids coming to the wedding!!!!!!!!
Okay you and your FH alone need to agree what you want. Kids or no kids (exception being the ones in the bridal party of course). Then if youboth 100% agree no kids, you need to word your invites with a note on the bottom that says 'Adults Reception to Follow.' Then within the invites envelope you need to include a note along with all the other inserts that gives the number to a local babysitting service. Or, like a previous poster said, hire a babysitter yourself and let people know there will be a babysitter in the bridal suite to watch the kids. Sounds like there are a LOT of kids between your two familys and it could just add a lot of extra expenses. if someone has a problem with it let them know that it will be costing you $x per child plus $x for their favor, $x per slice of cake, $x per head for the extras you may be getting at cocktail hour, etc. And you just can't spend it on 30+ kids. So unless that person who has the problem wants to pay for all the children in both families to attend so to make it fair, they have to respect your decision and leave you alone.
KittyGags
Posted:
Member since
Re: Kids coming to the wedding!!!!!!!!
To answer this question, I'm only having my niece and FH's niece and nephew. If I opened it up to children, I would have a full fledged three-ring circus. All of my first cousins have 3+ children and they're all under 9!
I would just stand your ground, and maybe the best solution is to have a 'sitter' there to take the kids away!
brunbarb
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Member since
Re: Kids coming to the wedding!!!!!!!!
Thanks! I'm glad to give a laugh. It's so funny- everyone in my family makes fun of this website so much, and they have no idea that LIW is the only thing standing between them and a gulag of pain. If I couldn't vent here, Long Island would be strewn with corpses. It's so funny that I have to do it under an assumed name, because I KNOW they check in here to see what I'm up to.
And I wasn't kidding about my brother's MIL's upper lip. Remember when they thought they found Sasquatch a few months ago?
That was her.
GinaZ
Posted:
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Re: Kids coming to the wedding!!!!!!!!
wow reading through all these posts I realize how lucky DH and I were. We only had 7 kids under 15 at our wedding. And they were all very well behaved and we couldn't have imagined having our wedding without them there. Actually, our 5 year old nephew was the life of the party! LOL! But I have friends who are getting married that have children in the family that just can't behave right at these sorts of events. They get bored and grumpy and start being terrors. They are children! People need to realize that a lot of people will not invite children to their weddings and need to get over it or not go.
mf2009
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Re: Kids coming to the wedding!!!!!!!!
Posted by brunbarb
Thanks! I'm glad to give a laugh. It's so funny- everyone in my family makes fun of this website so much, and they have no idea that LIW is the only thing standing between them and a gulag of pain. If I couldn't vent here, Long Island would be strewn with corpses. It's so funny that I have to do it under an assumed name, because I KNOW they check in here to see what I'm up to.
And I wasn't kidding about my brother's MIL's upper lip. Remember when they thought they found Sasquatch a few months ago?
That was her.
I hear ya!!!!
SFAR89
Posted:
Member since
Re: Kids coming to the wedding!!!!!!!!
Posted by brunbarb
And I wasn't kidding about my brother's MIL's upper lip. Remember when they thought they found Sasquatch a few months ago?
That was her.
NICE LOL
KittyGags
Posted:
Member since
Re: Kids coming to the wedding!!!!!!!!
Posted by brunbarb
Thanks! I'm glad to give a laugh. It's so funny- everyone in my family makes fun of this website so much, and they have no idea that LIW is the only thing standing between them and a gulag of pain. If I couldn't vent here, Long Island would be strewn with corpses. It's so funny that I have to do it under an assumed name, because I KNOW they check in here to see what I'm up to.
And I wasn't kidding about my brother's MIL's upper lip. Remember when they thought they found Sasquatch a few months ago?
That was her.
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!
Can I please know your true identity!? lol I can't stop laughing, people in my office think i'm nuts
brunbarb
Posted:
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Re: Kids coming to the wedding!!!!!!!!
You have FM!!!
Opera_Ghost
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Re: Kids coming to the wedding!!!!!!!!
Posted by MrsLarrea2B UNLESS his family is paying for the wedding, there is no reason why they should have any say in this matter.
That's my motto....'If you don't pay then you have no say!'
Imagine how popular it's made me.
Popcorn12
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Re: Kids coming to the wedding!!!!!!!!
I know exactly how you feel. I told my FH no kids at the wedding and he still wants to invite them. Absolutely not!!!!!!!
pa56
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Re: Kids coming to the wedding!!!!!!!!
We had to have kids at our wedding because most of my cousins have children and since I live very near my family and see them alot, it would just create unnecessary drama not to invite them. But I didn't give any child under 3 a seat. The parent had to deal with the kid on the lap. No way was I going to give up space for someone that would be asleep an hour into the reception.
jtgarsik
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Member since
Re: Kids coming to the wedding!!!!!!!!
STICK TO YOUR GUNS. first: know (and assure ur fh even if he doesn't wanna listen) that any sort of drama will be forgotten about & the people who caused it will be over it the day the weddings over..
dh & i both have huge HUGE families with a million children..but we stuck to our guns with the kids...we made an age limit and stuck to it. the ONLY children that were there were the fg & rb's... their brothers & sisters weren't even invited...
we did get rsvp's back with kids included on the card when they weren't invited, and we called them right up very nicely and said 'i'm really sorry but due to the size of the hall & the amount of people we have to accomadate there's will not be any children at the wedding' ...we even had some people call US asking if there was a mistake on the invite(even though the rsvp card stated 'adult reception to follow )....
stick to your guns..and i will say - don't make any exceptions because THATS when people are hurt/offended...because they go thinking no kids were invited & then there's kids around...plus people are nervy with their 'well so -n- so is bringing her kids so can i bring mine??' - so once u make exceptions isn't going to open a whole new can of worms...
i wish u the best of luck with ur situation! and i'll keep my fingers crossed in hope this aunt doesn't just show up with her terror children...! i've seen that done before too!
TALK TO UR FH about everything & the way you feel....but don't fight! get a decision settled and everything will work out
BAL5-9-05
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Re: Kids coming to the wedding!!!!!!!!
Posted by abrennan01
I don't understand people. It's your wedding! Are you paying for it? If so, then you have the right to invite who you want. FH needs to back you up on this one I think. People can throw their tantrums but ultimately, it's up to you and FH and unless FH really wants them there for some reason (and not that he's getting grief from his family), then they shouldn't be there. FH needs to be a man and stand up to his family for his wife's feelings.
Ditto....in a perfect world.....I hope for this too...time will tell..
