kids vs. no kids at the wedding, with poll!

Original post by djones44

Aug 18, 2007 10:38 PM

Here's my dilemma that I would love your suggestions on & I thought a poll would be fun. I have cousins of all ages and my dad tends to have a very traditional attitude about most things. So he thinks all kids should be invited, how can I not invite my cute little 3yr old cousin?? But I totally disagree, I think an 'adult' wedding is nicer and really who wouldn't want to get a sitter and enjoy themselves? Or use the sitter we plan on providing. Apparently not my uncle, my dad thinks he wants his kids there, he is flying from out of state, ect. I also would love advice on, if I decide that little kids are not invited then where should the cut off be? 13, 15, 18? And then you have the 18yr old with the 15 & 13 yr old sisters ahhhhh

weddingbunny Posted: Aug 20, 2007 09:54 AM

Re: kids vs. no kids at the wedding, with poll!

The youngest on my invite list is about 14.

I'd say about high school age is totally fine, especially if they're relatively close family (cousins, etc). We were lucky that amongst family there is a pretty big age gap - fh and I both have cousins in high school, and then the next kids are very young, elementary school age-ish or younger, so it was easy for us to make a cut off.

I think it's different if, say, you have an afternoon wedding or something, but especially as my wedding goes until 1am, having a little kid there just isn't appropriate at all, and anybody young enough to not know better than to shut up during the ceremony doesn't get invited. I'm a teacher, I like kids, but to be honest, I'm not a huge fan of babies, and I don't want to have to deal with an infant wailing his or her way through my ceremony

JM4EVA Posted: Aug 20, 2007 10:54 AM

Re: kids vs. no kids at the wedding, with poll!

We will be having 8 kids at the wedding, 7 of them are FH nieces/nephews and the other one in my cousin, but she is in the BP. But other than that we are not having any other kids.

I am a lil worried b/c it is going to be a long, late day for all the kids, but I hope everything will run smoothly.

sweetdreamz1181 Posted: Aug 20, 2007 10:59 AM

Re: kids vs. no kids at the wedding, with poll!

I am having no kids... only exception is fh nephew

jessica08bride Posted: Aug 20, 2007 11:17 AM

Re: kids vs. no kids at the wedding, with poll!

i think no matter how many times this poll goes up, the majority of the people vote no kids. i personally love kids and we have a large family so there will be 25+ kids at the wedding. this happens for every wedding in our family and its so much fun. if parents want a night off, they can choose not to bring them but the kids are always invited. they are a part of the family and i couldnt imagine my wedding without everyone there.

futuremrsfab Posted: Aug 20, 2007 11:32 AM

Re: kids vs. no kids at the wedding, with poll!

i dont think kids really enjoy themselves at a wedding- so we are doing all adults and just the two kids who are in our wedding party (fh's neice will be 10 and my cousin will be 11).

TrueLoveIn2008 Posted: Aug 20, 2007 12:04 PM

Re: kids vs. no kids at the wedding, with poll!

I am having a hard time with this now. I voted no but I agree wiht most people - there are exceptions.

I have a lot of first cousins as does my FH. First cousins are all invited, of course, but we are sticking to just first - no second. My cousins have almost all had kids -- FH's are just starting, and there will be 3 kids around the age of 1 when we are married. I do not want these kids at the wedding because I believe it's an adult affair. However all of these childrens' parents are coming from OOT and may not have anyone to watch the children ... so I may have a problem with this ... I will consider a babysitter, but I do not know if the parents will be comfortable leaving their kids with someone they have never met.

My FH also has 5 first cousins who are between the ages of 6 and 12. I do not want to invite these kids but FH says that since we are inviting all first cousins we can't leave them out. I agree and disagree at the same time. :(

It's a very hard decision to make!

GinaZ Posted: Aug 20, 2007 12:11 PM

Re: kids vs. no kids at the wedding, with poll!

I like having kids at weddings. They make for the cutest pictures! But if you have a ton in your family and numbers are tight I can see why they may be the first ones cut. But for my and FH it is very important for some of them to be at our wedding as we are very close with them all.

dgirl0114 Posted: Aug 20, 2007 12:11 PM

Re: kids vs. no kids at the wedding, with poll!

This is what we're doing-only inviting nieces & nephews. My two nieces (14 & 16) are both in the wedding party. On FH's side, there are nine nieces & nephews ranging in age from 3-20. Obviously, we invited the 17 and 20 year olds. As for the others, we weren't going to invite them, thinking the parents would want a nice time out. But suffice it to say that we ended up telling his brothers and sisters that it is up to them if they want to bring the kids or not. So right now, they're all trying to figure out what to do based on what the others are doing. If they end up saying they're bringing the kids, I'm going to have them at a separate table next to their parents' table and have a little goodie bag for each of them. Maybe some Mad Libs, Yes & No Books, stuff like that.

iBCraZ131 Posted: Aug 20, 2007 01:13 PM

Re: kids vs. no kids at the wedding, with poll!

I think it's all a matter of personal preference. I had kids at my wedding only because I knew my family didn't have that many of them. I only had about 7 kids at the wedding and they were very well behaved. If you have lots of children in the family, then I probably would say no, because then it's like a zoo of children and that's not what you want on your day.

MrsStefan Posted: Aug 20, 2007 01:44 PM

Re: kids vs. no kids at the wedding, with poll!

I voted NO! This was a huge source of drama with my IL's when we were planning. They wanted certain kids there and DH and I did not want to invite kids. The only children we had were our FG and RB. And, in the groom's suite at Giorgio's, there was a DVD player and couches for them to lay on in case they fell asleep. I continue to say NO, but I can see how if a person comes from out of state, then they might want their children there. DH's aunt and uncle came from NJ and we said No to their kids. They knew for 2 years that we weren't having kids. They had plenty of time to get a sitter. Maybe you can see if you can get a sitter to watch the kids in the groom's suite? This way, the adults can enjoy the reception and not have to worry about the kids being alone.