So lately I have really been thinking of going back to school and going to be a biology teacher. I am working in a lab now and even though I love what I do, i just cant see myself doing this for the rest of my life...So i was thinking of going to an online program for my bachelors in teaching and then getting masters through an online/in school program, like briarcliff or something (FH's mom did that...) So I tell my parents what I am thinking of and they said I should go for it and they would help me pay for it no problem. I tell my FH and it was wolrd war 3...He got so upset with me for even thinking about changing careers. I told him how unhappy i felt with my current career, how i feel that by becoming a teacher it would be better in the long run if we had a family and that my hours would be better, etc. He didnt want to hear it. He told me that I will never be happy with whatever I do and I will always be changing my mind so dont even waste my time bc the idea is stupid, we a savring for a wedding so we cant afford tuition (which my parents would pay...) and we want to get a house/start a family one day so it is stupid of me to do it. I should just suck it up and stay with what I am doing and be a miserable 70 year old working for hourly pay until the day i die.
I am just upset that he reacted so aggresively when i told him about it...and I dont know what to do. I REALLY want to go back to school and do this, I feel i could be a great teacher. Yes I understand its hard to find a job right now, but thats right now, no one knows what can happen in 4-5 years from now...I would still be working my three jobs to make money and save for everything, and i would do school work at night before bed and on my lunch break...
What do you girls think? Should i say whatever and just go to school behind his back? Should i say whatever and tell him if he doesnt like it he can leave me? Should I just not go and suck it up and keep doing what i am doing? Or should I just say to him 'screw you, if you dont like and and you cant support my decision how will you be when I am your wife looking for support?' and just say forget everything and call off our engagement (Yea thats how upset I am about this, bc if he reacts this way with me trying to better myself, have a more stable career and more MONEY...how will he be when I decide to do something else after we are married....)
I just have to add, the kicker of his whole angry reaction was, 'why are you going to change careers now when after we have kids in a few years your going to stay home with them and stop working?!' *** are you kidding me???!!!! I never ever plan on being a stay at home mom...its not who i am, so why would i change that for him. I am a child of babysitters and day camp and I turned out just fine....
ETA: Am i just being a baby about the whole thing? Should I just get over the whole thing and forget about ever being a teacher?
DWKSwed
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Re: Kindof a vent but in need of advice LONG
Posted by DnT2010
Posted by jenny8484
Oh and forgot to add.... i think there is some sort of program you can do to teach, even if your undergrad degree is not related to Biology.. my FH's cousin's (DWKSWed) FH did this, he majored in undergrad in Film & TV and did a program where he is now teaching Science and currently going for his masters... You may want to FM her for details!
this program is for people with a bachelors that decide to change their career.. its called the teaching fellows program.
Actually, that's one program, where they place you in a school almost immediately, but it's almost always better if you have majored in the subject you want to teach during undergrad. For my FH he did the career change masters program at St. John's, FM me if u want details.
I agree with the idea that this is a bigger problem for you because your FH is not supportive of what will make you happy. You need to have a serious talk about EVERYTHING. My first thought was that maybe your FH is in a career that he doesn't love, and may resent you being able to follow your dreams when he is 'putting you first' and sucking it up for you. That's the only rational basis I can think of for his reaction, and even so, it's not okay. Talk to him about all of it and ultimately you have to do what makes you happy, which appears to be going back to school to teach. But, it's going to be difficult and you're going to need him to support you in it in the future too, so if he's not on board it's going to be even harder for you, that needs to change.
Yankees2323
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Re: Kindof a vent but in need of advice LONG
i say go back to school.... DO WAT YOU WANT TO DO!!! trust me you dont want to be working in the lab forever ... me either lol i plan on going bak to school but me on the other hand hates school...
you should do what makes you happy and you need to have a serious talk with him and let him know that #1 you 100% want to do it and #2 it wont even cost anything since ur parents will pay for it... and it would be alot better in the long run since you have mon-fri hrs and can raise you children...
MrsL2010
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Re: Kindof a vent but in need of advice LONG
He should support you. If you want to go back to school, go. Even better that your parents are willing to help.
SparklingBride10
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Re: Kindof a vent but in need of advice LONG
You also have to make yourself happy and if going back to school is it then go for it. He should be happy that you want to go back to better yourself.
Reymiliz
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Re: Kindof a vent but in need of advice LONG
i feel ike if ur engaged and by being engaged you ar e starting a lifelong commitment .... bc ventually u will be married ... my point is that if u tell him ... i am going to bcome a garbage man because thats what i want to do ( and it isnt hurting him in any way shape or form ) then whats his issue ... that whole stay at hom mom thing is a lil crazy tooo ... he cant expect you to stopppp everything ur doing just bc u have a baby ... im not knocking stay at home moms but it should be ur choice ....
GO TO SCHOOL BECOME A GREAT TEACHER BC WE DONT HAVE MANY OF THOSE OUT THERE ....
Just tell him i respect u , love u and i understand your concern (even if you dont men like to here that u do ) but i feel like this is something that will better OUR future and Iv decided to this and I know you will stand by me ...
AND IF HE DOESNT WANT TO THEN BE HAPPY THAT IT CAME OUT NOW AND NOT AFTER THE MARRIAGE AND IF HE DOES ... THEN KNOW U HAVE A GOOD MAN
bluegreen08
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Re: Kindof a vent but in need of advice LONG
I really think you need to sit down and talk and make sure you are on the same page. Maybe take a day or 2 off, cool off a little, let him get used to the idea, and then sit down and discuss it again. Maybe even tell him that --- that you are serious about this and want to take a few days off and then discuss it further.
I dont think you need to call off the wedding, but you will need to be able to face differences in the future as a couple and compromise. i would also be upset by that kind of reaction, but you never know what else he was bothering him that day and maybe it was just a big shock compared to what he had been used to and expecting.
