So a relative asked me yesterday why I was having a church ceremony if I don't go to church!!! Now I feel guilty because I recognize that I do not go to church that often but I do attend.
Anyone run across this catholic guilt thing???
Jna2010
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Re: Ladies having a church wedding?
as long as you believe in your religion i dont see why you wouldnt get maried in a church, obviously it prob woul dbe better if you went every now and then, but i wouldnt let that be the deciding factor
Spring143
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Re: Ladies having a church wedding?
just because you dont go now doesnt mean you will never go. I dont think you should be guilty. you could always go to confession. also if the church thought it was a problem than they prob wouldnt have said they would marry you there.
Future Mrs H
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Re: Ladies having a church wedding?
Are you having the mass or just the ceremony? I am having the ceremony not the mass and the only one who wanted me to have the full mass was my cousin ,who is the priest that is marrying us. Neither FH and I go to church regularly and both our families know this so they arent trying to talk us into the whole mass. Dont let these people make you feel guilty for getting married in the church. You may not go often but it is your faith.
jmgoncal
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Re: Ladies having a church wedding?
Posted by Jna2010
as long as you believe in your religion i dont see why you wouldnt get maried in a church, obviously it prob woul dbe better if you went every now and then, but i wouldnt let that be the deciding factor
Agreed - we're getting married in a church and don't go to church every Sunday. And our priest is aware of that fact. I actually wanted to have a mass and not just a ceremony but the priest said they shy away from performing a full mass unless the couple goes to church every Sunday, which annoyed me but is understandable.
MarjorieFrank
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Re: Ladies having a church wedding?
Out of every 100 people who get married at church probably like 1 or 2 actually go to church. I wouldn't feel guilty if I were you. Believing in your religion and wanting to get married in the eyes of God is great! Just ignore your relative.
RGEC47
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Re: Ladies having a church wedding?
Posted by Future Mrs H
Are you having the mass or just the ceremony? I am having the ceremony not the mass and the only one who wanted me to have the full mass was my cousin ,who is the priest that is marrying us. Neither FH and I go to church regularly and both our families know this so they arent trying to talk us into the whole mass. Dont let these people make you feel guilty for getting married in the church. You may not go often but it is your faith.
Well my mom and FMIL wanted a full mass, but FH and I didn't feel comfortable, because we do not attend church regularly. Thanks for the input ladies!
Diana508
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Re: Ladies having a church wedding?
I don't think going to church qualifies you as a good Catholic. Tell them you have your beliefs and that you believe it's the start of building a foundation for your future family.
AngnShaun
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Re: Ladies having a church wedding?
Posted by Diana508
I don't think going to church qualifies you as a good Catholic.
i agree... and not because im a terrible catholic...
but you could just tell them that its not their concern where youre having your ceremony... how many people get guilted into having it at a church because of a relative... thats no different... not to offend anyone, but guilt is a huge part of the catholic religion... lol
Lsorrent
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Re: Ladies having a church wedding?
I'm getting married in a church and I'm a 'twice a year' Catholic. I don't feel bad. I don't believe I have to go to church just to pray. I can pray from the comfort of my own home.......if the Catholic belief is that God is with us everywhere, that means He's in my home too.
We're not having a full mass either, but that's partially because FH's and his family are not Catholic, and partially because I feel if people want to go to mass, they'll do so on their own. Not because they're coming to see me get married.
JayBee216
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Re: Ladies having a church wedding?
I'm having a full mass, and I don't go to church regularly. In the past, FH's family members have gotten married w/o full masses and his gparents have been upset, and his gpa told him he wanted him to have a full mass before he died.
My parents also go to church every Sunday, so it was sort of expected that we would have a full mass.
I don't feel guilty at all. And I don't really care if people don't want to come to the full mass - they can opt out if they want.
I know it's making both of our families happy to have one, even if we aren't regular church-goers.
halfbaked
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Personally, I don't think you have to go to church in order to be religious. You can pray and be close to God in your own home without the help of a priest. I'd tell everyone that.
In actuality, I'm getting married in a church to please both of our families, but whatever!
AdriandSteve
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Re: Ladies having a church wedding?
I haven't gone to church for a reg. service in a loooong time. But I do believe in 90% of everything so I think that's good. I don't necessarily believe you have to go to service in order to be a practicing catholic.
I'm using a church where I made my first communion so there's some connection.
christine2010
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Re: Ladies having a church wedding?
I have to agree with the others who have said that you don't have to go to Church regularly to be a good Catholic.
we are getting married in Church with a ceremony only because ever since I was a little girl I always dreamed of walking down the Church aisle on my wedding day. I also feel that receiving the sacrament of Marriage in the Church is a great way to start the rest of our life.
my FH was dead set against getting married in Church & I understand that other places are just as meaningful but its all a matter of personal preference.
Michy2009
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Re: Ladies having a church wedding?
I am gettting married in a church because I want God to bless my marriage, as corny as that may sound. I try to go to church, but I get lazy. I used to go much more regurily. I am catholic, so I have that catholic guilt that is ingrained in us to go to mass every week. However, there are alot of things with the catholic religion that I am not in agreement about, and one of them is that I dont think that if I dont make it to mass every week that my relationship with God is lacking. I agree with others posts here that you can have your own relationship with God just by praying.
emc282rjm
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Re: Ladies having a church wedding?
We're having a full mass in a church, even though we rarely attend mass outside of our wedding. We have a couple of reasons. For starters neither of us has a parish that we love. If we did, I think that would be different, but we haven't really fallen in love with any of the parishes near us. We're getting married at my grandmother's church. That's probably the second reason we're getting married there. I know it would mean a lot to her, and I know that she wants it to be a full mass.
We also believe in our religion but disagree with some tenets of the church (which keeps us away at times). The faith is there, but some of the practices are what turns us off. Eventually, I think a lot of the things we take umbrage with will be changed, but we're just not fully supportive of some of the church's policies and practices.
I feel guilty about it sometimes, but I think that, like the other girls have said, you can show faith outside of a church as well.
Sorry that was ramble-y and probably didn't really address your question!
FutureMrsLMS
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Re: Ladies having a church wedding?
We are having a church ceremony.
FH hasn't stepped foot inside a church since 7th grade. The last time I went to Church was probably 2004 for a funeral mass when my grandfather passed away. I went to Catholic school for 8 years though (K-8th grade. My dad goes to Church for Easter and Christmas - and FH's dad goes every Sunday.
FH and I are not religious at all, but we did it to please our families.
asg450
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Re: Ladies having a church wedding?
Posted by Jna2010
as long as you believe in your religion i dont see why you wouldnt get maried in a church, obviously it prob woul dbe better if you went every now and then, but i wouldnt let that be the deciding factor
I completely agree. My MOH and I don't go to church every sunday but we both decided on church ceremonies with no guilt.
grkbarbie
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Re: Ladies having a church wedding?
pUHLEASE!
all the ppl that i know that go to church every week are the biggest sinnners walking this earth!! even sunday school teachers.. o mannn the nuddiessss i have of them that were sent to me bwahahahahahahahah
as long as ur the best person u can be and have faith, youre fine!
jme78
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Re: Ladies having a church wedding?
I can't believe someone commented on this to you.
Faith/religion is such a personal thing, people need to STFU.
Of course I am getting the opposite reaction from relatives, they are insistent we SHOULD get married in a church. Again, people need to STFU. Do what feels right to you and your FH.
