I'm having a major 'changing my name' problem. I think FH is really sad that I don't want to take his last name. I know that it is 'an honor' to take it, etc., etc. But, I have a really rich family history and I LOVE my last name. I want to keep it. I don't know how else to explain it. I'm proud of where I come from, I guess. Originally I was just thinking of keeping it for professional purposes (I'm going to be an atty), but now I'm feeling like I'd like to keep it all around. I am OK with the idea of going hyphenated or just having two last names, but FH is not thrilled. Am I being ridiculous?
ETA: Just wanted to say - when I said 'rich family history' I didn't mean that we're the Hiltons or oil moguls, lol. I don't think anyone read it that way, but just wanted to make sure. I meant we have an interesting and unique background, filled with a lot of previous struggle/triumph.
LuckyMe
Posted:
Member since
Re: Last Name Drama
DH and I eloped 2yrs ago and I never went and changed my name. I told him before we eloped that I wasnt going to change it (just to see what he'd say)and he said he was fine with it, not a problem! Well let me tell you he will through a dig in every chance he gets. First of all I was married before when I was a teenager and it was a real nightmare to get it changed back and then all my documents so I have always procrastinated for that reason. Now it's just pure laziness but DH doesnt know this.
mdawg
Posted:
Member since
Re: Last Name Drama
no, youre not being ridiculous. If it's that important to you to keep your last name, then there shouldnt be a problem on his end, especially if youre willing to hyphenate.
klanghan
Posted:
Member since
Re: Last Name Drama
i don't think you are being ridiculous at all. I really don't want to part with my last name either. Maybe you can get your FH to change his instead???
BNBride60
Posted:
Member since
Re: Last Name Drama
Posted by klanghan
i don't think you are being ridiculous at all. I really don't want to part with my last name either. Maybe you can get your FH to change his instead???
LOL, I don't think there is ANY WAY that FH will change his last name. He is very traditional, which is why I think he is sad over this. He isn't trying to change my mind, but he told me that this 'is not ideal' in his mind.
drpepper318
Posted:
Member since
Re: Last Name Drama
No you're not being ridiculous at all! I can totally relate. Having the same last name for your whole life, it's really hard to change it, especially if it's a name that you love. You shouldn't feel bad about wanting to keep your own last name. Do what feels right for you. That way you'll have no regrets. Maybe just use his name socially and keep your own name legally & professionally? Would your husband object to that too? No matter what you decide, I'm sure that before long, he'll understand and it won't bother him anymore.
Mici n KC
Posted:
Member since
Re: Last Name Drama
You are not being ridiculous. I don't want to get rid of my last name and FH is having a hissy fit about it. I mean it's really disrespectful of him if you ask me. I legally want to keep in Mrs. B-C and he just wants it Mrs. C for no good reason. Meanwhile, my sister and I die with our last names so why should I have to give it up any sooner? It's not like our kids would be B-C. UGHHHHHHH
BNBride60
Posted:
Member since
Re: Last Name Drama
Posted by MiciB115
You are not being ridiculous. I don't want to get rid of my last name and FH is having a hissy fit about it. I mean it's really disrespectful of him if you ask me. I legally want to keep in Mrs. B-C and he just wants it Mrs. C for no good reason. Meanwhile, my sister and I die with our last names so why should I have to give it up any sooner? It's not like our kids would be B-C. UGHHHHHHH
Yeah I mean FH isn't being a jerk about it - he's being mopey. It's almost worse that way to be honest!!! I feel like I'm hurting him/letting him down. I know some kids with hyphenated names and they have a hard time, so I wouldn't do that. But, I said I wanted all our kids to have my last name as their middle names. My Aunt and good friend did this. FH was like 'WHAT?! I want our kids to all have their own middle name!' I just don't understand why HE doesn't understand the concept of being attached to your own last name?!
ETA: Wow, I feel better now that I got that out!
Mich0621
Posted:
Member since
Re: Last Name Drama
No, you are not being ridiculous...this is not 1890...women are entitled to keep their maiden name, it is a personal choice, and no one should be knocked for taking FH's name or keeping their own! It is very fair that you are willing to hyphenate your name. But here is some advice...figure it out before you get admitted to the bar! Changing your name with OCA is suuuchhh a pain in the rear, and they are so unpleasant on the phone. I decided to take FH's name after the wedding, and OCA doesn't process the change for 4-6 weeks after they receive it!!! Which means basically that I will be practicing under my maiden name and then POOF, one day I will have my new name (this is a pain because I am on the record in court every day!) For me, changing my name is easier...go for what you feel best doing!
BNBride60
Posted:
Member since
Re: Last Name Drama
Posted by Mich0621
No, you are not being ridiculous...this is not 1890...women are entitled to keep their maiden name, it is a personal choice, and no one should be knocked for taking FH's name or keeping their own! It is very fair that you are willing to hyphenate your name. But here is some advice...figure it out before you get admitted to the bar! Changing your name with OCA is suuuchhh a pain in the rear, and they are so unpleasant on the phone. I decided to take FH's name after the wedding, and OCA doesn't process the change for 4-6 weeks after they receive it!!! Which means basically that I will be practicing under my maiden name and then POOF, one day I will have my new name (this is a pain because I am on the record in court every day!) For me, changing my name is easier...go for what you feel best doing!
Thanks for the advice! Do I have to practice under whatever my legal name is? For example, if I decide to hyphenate my name, do I have to practice under the full last name or can I just go by my maiden name?
Mich0621
Posted:
Member since
Re: Last Name Drama
Posted by Jess125483
Posted by Mich0621
No, you are not being ridiculous...this is not 1890...women are entitled to keep their maiden name, it is a personal choice, and no one should be knocked for taking FH's name or keeping their own! It is very fair that you are willing to hyphenate your name. But here is some advice...figure it out before you get admitted to the bar! Changing your name with OCA is suuuchhh a pain in the rear, and they are so unpleasant on the phone. I decided to take FH's name after the wedding, and OCA doesn't process the change for 4-6 weeks after they receive it!!! Which means basically that I will be practicing under my maiden name and then POOF, one day I will have my new name (this is a pain because I am on the record in court every day!) For me, changing my name is easier...go for what you feel best doing!
Thanks for the advice! Do I have to practice under whatever my legal name is? For example, if I decide to hyphenate my name, do I have to practice under the full last name or can I just go by my maiden name?
Once you sign the register at your admission to the Bar, you have to practice under the name you signed. That is the name that OCA has, and all legal docs that you draft should read First Name, Last Name, Esq. If you legally hyphenate your name, you don't necessarily have to practice under it if that is not the name that you use when you fill out your admission papers and the register. This includes going on the record. So, when I give my appearance on the record after the wedding, I still have to use the name which I am admitted under, which at that point will be my maiden name. I know attorneys who are married and use their married name in regular everyday life, but their maiden name for their practice, because that is what they were admitted as. Since I barely can remember minutia at this point, I figured I want to keep it simple! This might change though, if it really is a pain in the rear!
BNBride60
Posted:
Member since
Re: Last Name Drama
Posted by Mich0621
Posted by Jess125483
Posted by Mich0621
No, you are not being ridiculous...this is not 1890...women are entitled to keep their maiden name, it is a personal choice, and no one should be knocked for taking FH's name or keeping their own! It is very fair that you are willing to hyphenate your name. But here is some advice...figure it out before you get admitted to the bar! Changing your name with OCA is suuuchhh a pain in the rear, and they are so unpleasant on the phone. I decided to take FH's name after the wedding, and OCA doesn't process the change for 4-6 weeks after they receive it!!! Which means basically that I will be practicing under my maiden name and then POOF, one day I will have my new name (this is a pain because I am on the record in court every day!) For me, changing my name is easier...go for what you feel best doing!
Thanks for the advice! Do I have to practice under whatever my legal name is? For example, if I decide to hyphenate my name, do I have to practice under the full last name or can I just go by my maiden name?
Once you sign the register at your admission to the Bar, you have to practice under the name you signed. That is the name that OCA has, and all legal docs that you draft should read First Name, Last Name, Esq. If you legally hyphenate your name, you don't necessarily have to practice under it if that is not the name that you use when you fill out your admission papers and the register. This includes going on the record. So, when I give my appearance on the record after the wedding, I still have to use the name which I am admitted under, which at that point will be my maiden name. I know attorneys who are married and use their married name in regular everyday life, but their maiden name for their practice, because that is what they were admitted as. Since I barely can remember minutia at this point, I figured I want to keep it simple! This might change though, if it really is a pain in the rear!
Oy vey!!! NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO THE ADDED STRESS!!!!
Mich0621
Posted:
Member since
Re: Last Name Drama
Posted by Jess125483
Posted by Mich0621
Posted by Jess125483
Posted by Mich0621
No, you are not being ridiculous...this is not 1890...women are entitled to keep their maiden name, it is a personal choice, and no one should be knocked for taking FH's name or keeping their own! It is very fair that you are willing to hyphenate your name. But here is some advice...figure it out before you get admitted to the bar! Changing your name with OCA is suuuchhh a pain in the rear, and they are so unpleasant on the phone. I decided to take FH's name after the wedding, and OCA doesn't process the change for 4-6 weeks after they receive it!!! Which means basically that I will be practicing under my maiden name and then POOF, one day I will have my new name (this is a pain because I am on the record in court every day!) For me, changing my name is easier...go for what you feel best doing!
Thanks for the advice! Do I have to practice under whatever my legal name is? For example, if I decide to hyphenate my name, do I have to practice under the full last name or can I just go by my maiden name?
Once you sign the register at your admission to the Bar, you have to practice under the name you signed. That is the name that OCA has, and all legal docs that you draft should read First Name, Last Name, Esq. If you legally hyphenate your name, you don't necessarily have to practice under it if that is not the name that you use when you fill out your admission papers and the register. This includes going on the record. So, when I give my appearance on the record after the wedding, I still have to use the name which I am admitted under, which at that point will be my maiden name. I know attorneys who are married and use their married name in regular everyday life, but their maiden name for their practice, because that is what they were admitted as. Since I barely can remember minutia at this point, I figured I want to keep it simple! This might change though, if it really is a pain in the rear!
Oy vey!!! NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO THE ADDED STRESS!!!!
Yeah, I won't sugar coat it...taking the bar s*cked! Don't stress though...it is hyped up! You will be fine, and FM me if you need help (I have AWESOME materials that I lived and breathed by when I took the Bar!) Don't stress!!! I promise that you will do fine and get a great job and have a lovely wedding, and you will figure out the name dilemma!
BNBride60
Posted:
Member since
Re: Last Name Drama
Posted by Mich0621
Posted by Jess125483
Posted by Mich0621
Posted by Jess125483
Posted by Mich0621
No, you are not being ridiculous...this is not 1890...women are entitled to keep their maiden name, it is a personal choice, and no one should be knocked for taking FH's name or keeping their own! It is very fair that you are willing to hyphenate your name. But here is some advice...figure it out before you get admitted to the bar! Changing your name with OCA is suuuchhh a pain in the rear, and they are so unpleasant on the phone. I decided to take FH's name after the wedding, and OCA doesn't process the change for 4-6 weeks after they receive it!!! Which means basically that I will be practicing under my maiden name and then POOF, one day I will have my new name (this is a pain because I am on the record in court every day!) For me, changing my name is easier...go for what you feel best doing!
Thanks for the advice! Do I have to practice under whatever my legal name is? For example, if I decide to hyphenate my name, do I have to practice under the full last name or can I just go by my maiden name?
Once you sign the register at your admission to the Bar, you have to practice under the name you signed. That is the name that OCA has, and all legal docs that you draft should read First Name, Last Name, Esq. If you legally hyphenate your name, you don't necessarily have to practice under it if that is not the name that you use when you fill out your admission papers and the register. This includes going on the record. So, when I give my appearance on the record after the wedding, I still have to use the name which I am admitted under, which at that point will be my maiden name. I know attorneys who are married and use their married name in regular everyday life, but their maiden name for their practice, because that is what they were admitted as. Since I barely can remember minutia at this point, I figured I want to keep it simple! This might change though, if it really is a pain in the rear!
Oy vey!!! NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO THE ADDED STRESS!!!!
Yeah, I won't sugar coat it...taking the bar s*cked! Don't stress though...it is hyped up! You will be fine, and FM me if you need help (I have AWESOME materials that I lived and breathed by when I took the Bar!) Don't stress!!! I promise that you will do fine and get a great job and have a lovely wedding, and you will figure out the name dilemma!
LOL, thank you so much!!!! You are hereby designated my official pep talk giver - I will be harrassing you in the future for sure!
klanghan
Posted:
Member since
Re: Last Name Drama
Posted by Jess125483
Posted by klanghan
i don't think you are being ridiculous at all. I really don't want to part with my last name either. Maybe you can get your FH to change his instead???
LOL, I don't think there is ANY WAY that FH will change his last name. He is very traditional, which is why I think he is sad over this. He isn't trying to change my mind, but he told me that this 'is not ideal' in his mind.
yeah, I'm still working on mine too, don't think it's going to happen either. . .oh well. Nice to know I'm not the only one though!
Mich0621
Posted:
Member since
Re: Last Name Drama
Posted by Jess125483
Posted by Mich0621
Posted by Jess125483
Posted by Mich0621
Posted by Jess125483
Posted by Mich0621
No, you are not being ridiculous...this is not 1890...women are entitled to keep their maiden name, it is a personal choice, and no one should be knocked for taking FH's name or keeping their own! It is very fair that you are willing to hyphenate your name. But here is some advice...figure it out before you get admitted to the bar! Changing your name with OCA is suuuchhh a pain in the rear, and they are so unpleasant on the phone. I decided to take FH's name after the wedding, and OCA doesn't process the change for 4-6 weeks after they receive it!!! Which means basically that I will be practicing under my maiden name and then POOF, one day I will have my new name (this is a pain because I am on the record in court every day!) For me, changing my name is easier...go for what you feel best doing!
Thanks for the advice! Do I have to practice under whatever my legal name is? For example, if I decide to hyphenate my name, do I have to practice under the full last name or can I just go by my maiden name?
Once you sign the register at your admission to the Bar, you have to practice under the name you signed. That is the name that OCA has, and all legal docs that you draft should read First Name, Last Name, Esq. If you legally hyphenate your name, you don't necessarily have to practice under it if that is not the name that you use when you fill out your admission papers and the register. This includes going on the record. So, when I give my appearance on the record after the wedding, I still have to use the name which I am admitted under, which at that point will be my maiden name. I know attorneys who are married and use their married name in regular everyday life, but their maiden name for their practice, because that is what they were admitted as. Since I barely can remember minutia at this point, I figured I want to keep it simple! This might change though, if it really is a pain in the rear!
Oy vey!!! NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO THE ADDED STRESS!!!!
Yeah, I won't sugar coat it...taking the bar s*cked! Don't stress though...it is hyped up! You will be fine, and FM me if you need help (I have AWESOME materials that I lived and breathed by when I took the Bar!) Don't stress!!! I promise that you will do fine and get a great job and have a lovely wedding, and you will figure out the name dilemma!
LOL, thank you so much!!!! You are hereby designated my official pep talk giver - I will be harrassing you in the future for sure!
No problem! Hee Hee...the only thing I ask is that one day you pass on the wisdom to another law school student!!!! The last bit of advice that I will pass along was given to me as a 3L, and here it is:
Don't just pass the bar, go in and have a drink!' Oldie, but goodie!!!
BNBride60
Posted:
Member since
Re: Last Name Drama
Posted by Mich0621
Posted by Jess125483
Posted by Mich0621
Posted by Jess125483
Posted by Mich0621
Posted by Jess125483
Posted by Mich0621
No, you are not being ridiculous...this is not 1890...women are entitled to keep their maiden name, it is a personal choice, and no one should be knocked for taking FH's name or keeping their own! It is very fair that you are willing to hyphenate your name. But here is some advice...figure it out before you get admitted to the bar! Changing your name with OCA is suuuchhh a pain in the rear, and they are so unpleasant on the phone. I decided to take FH's name after the wedding, and OCA doesn't process the change for 4-6 weeks after they receive it!!! Which means basically that I will be practicing under my maiden name and then POOF, one day I will have my new name (this is a pain because I am on the record in court every day!) For me, changing my name is easier...go for what you feel best doing!
Thanks for the advice! Do I have to practice under whatever my legal name is? For example, if I decide to hyphenate my name, do I have to practice under the full last name or can I just go by my maiden name?
Once you sign the register at your admission to the Bar, you have to practice under the name you signed. That is the name that OCA has, and all legal docs that you draft should read First Name, Last Name, Esq. If you legally hyphenate your name, you don't necessarily have to practice under it if that is not the name that you use when you fill out your admission papers and the register. This includes going on the record. So, when I give my appearance on the record after the wedding, I still have to use the name which I am admitted under, which at that point will be my maiden name. I know attorneys who are married and use their married name in regular everyday life, but their maiden name for their practice, because that is what they were admitted as. Since I barely can remember minutia at this point, I figured I want to keep it simple! This might change though, if it really is a pain in the rear!
Oy vey!!! NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO THE ADDED STRESS!!!!
Yeah, I won't sugar coat it...taking the bar s*cked! Don't stress though...it is hyped up! You will be fine, and FM me if you need help (I have AWESOME materials that I lived and breathed by when I took the Bar!) Don't stress!!! I promise that you will do fine and get a great job and have a lovely wedding, and you will figure out the name dilemma!
LOL, thank you so much!!!! You are hereby designated my official pep talk giver - I will be harrassing you in the future for sure!
No problem! Hee Hee...the only thing I ask is that one day you pass on the wisdom to another law school student!!!! The last bit of advice that I will pass along was given to me as a 3L, and here it is:
Don't just pass the bar, go in and have a drink!' Oldie, but goodie!!!
LOL - can't wait to recycle that bad boy!
Mich0621
Posted:
Member since
Re: Last Name Drama
Posted by Jess125483
Posted by Mich0621
Posted by Jess125483
Posted by Mich0621
Posted by Jess125483
Posted by Mich0621
Posted by Jess125483
Posted by Mich0621
No, you are not being ridiculous...this is not 1890...women are entitled to keep their maiden name, it is a personal choice, and no one should be knocked for taking FH's name or keeping their own! It is very fair that you are willing to hyphenate your name. But here is some advice...figure it out before you get admitted to the bar! Changing your name with OCA is suuuchhh a pain in the rear, and they are so unpleasant on the phone. I decided to take FH's name after the wedding, and OCA doesn't process the change for 4-6 weeks after they receive it!!! Which means basically that I will be practicing under my maiden name and then POOF, one day I will have my new name (this is a pain because I am on the record in court every day!) For me, changing my name is easier...go for what you feel best doing!
Thanks for the advice! Do I have to practice under whatever my legal name is? For example, if I decide to hyphenate my name, do I have to practice under the full last name or can I just go by my maiden name?
Once you sign the register at your admission to the Bar, you have to practice under the name you signed. That is the name that OCA has, and all legal docs that you draft should read First Name, Last Name, Esq. If you legally hyphenate your name, you don't necessarily have to practice under it if that is not the name that you use when you fill out your admission papers and the register. This includes going on the record. So, when I give my appearance on the record after the wedding, I still have to use the name which I am admitted under, which at that point will be my maiden name. I know attorneys who are married and use their married name in regular everyday life, but their maiden name for their practice, because that is what they were admitted as. Since I barely can remember minutia at this point, I figured I want to keep it simple! This might change though, if it really is a pain in the rear!
Oy vey!!! NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO THE ADDED STRESS!!!!
Yeah, I won't sugar coat it...taking the bar s*cked! Don't stress though...it is hyped up! You will be fine, and FM me if you need help (I have AWESOME materials that I lived and breathed by when I took the Bar!) Don't stress!!! I promise that you will do fine and get a great job and have a lovely wedding, and you will figure out the name dilemma!
LOL, thank you so much!!!! You are hereby designated my official pep talk giver - I will be harrassing you in the future for sure!
No problem! Hee Hee...the only thing I ask is that one day you pass on the wisdom to another law school student!!!! The last bit of advice that I will pass along was given to me as a 3L, and here it is:
Don't just pass the bar, go in and have a drink!' Oldie, but goodie!!!
LOL - can't wait to recycle that bad boy!
Ms SunnShinne
Posted:
Member since
Re: Last Name Drama
I am going to Hyphen my last name I'm sorry! I am actually also giving my first child my last name as a middle name. I also feel the way u do about my last name and I do not know how to express that to my fh
iwannabmrsD
Posted:
Member since
Re: Last Name Drama
if i do change my name at all i will hyphenate it. fh didn't have a problem when it when i explained to him that was my dad's last name and it was my last name and i was keeping it..
i'm also keeping my last name cause it's my daughters last name and i dont want her to be the only one in the house with a different last name..
and msssunshine.. another commonality, i will also be giving my child my last name as a middle name.. sort of a tradition in my family...
