Legal guardians for your children

michele31 Posted: Jun 19, 2003 01:36 PM

Legal guardians for your children

Not a topic that we want to discuss but it is something I feel is very important. Scott and I have to write up our Will this summer and at that time we will need to decide on a legal guardian for our child. If left undone, the Court could make the decision for us, or someone might think 'I am sure they would want us to raise the baby' and meanwhile, we never thought that. I only want a stable home life for my child and not everyone in our lives has one to offer. But I know that I would want to avoid a family court battle or people hating each other over the issue.
This is really a hard decision. Do you have a Will with this information stated? Who did you ask to be the guardian?

kptoys Posted: Jun 19, 2003 02:34 PM

Re: Legal guardians for your children

Its a terrible thing to think about but one that shouldnt be avoided!!!

I asked my mom to be Emmas guardian in case anything happened to me and FH. I know he wanted his parents to raise her but my mom is retiring in a week and his parents have to work for the next 5-7 years so its best for Emma to have someone 24-7 not go to a sitter. I was going to ask my brother because he is 26 but he isn't in any kind of relationship so single life is his life... not a ONE (happy birthday again Emma) year old. Maybe when he is married I will change it to have him the guardian but not till then. Derek also has a married sister that has mental issues so she isn't even a consideration.

phyl Posted: Jun 19, 2003 02:51 PM

Re: Legal guardians for your children

we actually have to update ours..,,we did one online before we went toThailand in 11/01 (post 9/11)...
have talked a lot about it and should get it done ..I heard that it is worth the expense to have a lawyer do it as opposed to doing it online
what have you heard?

kptoys Posted: Jun 19, 2003 03:09 PM

Re: Legal guardians for your children

We had our lawyer do it. He only charged us about $150

michele31 Posted: Jun 19, 2003 04:14 PM

Re: Legal guardians for your children

I think of it as an investment for my child. i don't want any problems with the legal system if God Forbid something were to happen to us. I have paid more for a pair of boots.I want to make sure our wishes are very clear and plain for my family to understand.

LisaT Posted: Jun 19, 2003 04:55 PM

Re: Legal guardians for your children

Al and I are the 'back-up' guardians to his sister Adriann's 3 kids. They asked us soon after we got married.

So if something should happen to them AND the guardians (Adriann's SIL & her husband) - we're up.

Elizabeth Posted: Jun 19, 2003 06:16 PM

Re: Legal guardians for your children

We have my SIL & BIL who I would I know would be phenomenal guardians, God forbid. DH & I are guardians to their 3 kids as well. We went to our lawyer and did a will, guardianship, and all the other 'fun' legal stuff in one shot.

HTH

Kaycee0921 Posted: Jun 20, 2003 09:18 AM

Re: Legal guardians for your children

DH and I just broached the topic (a sitcom brought up the discussion) on a 'we really need to do this' way. I'm very nervous, as I know it is going to turn into a big argument. Godparents were hard enough but this is obviously a whole different matter.

I want my Brother and SIL (I've been the chosen guardian for their children since my mother passed away) and he'll insist on his parents. I love my IL's and think they'd be good, but there are some issues with his brother and I'm not sure I want them exposed to that.

Anyone else unable to agree?

kptoys Posted: Jun 20, 2003 09:22 AM

Re: Legal guardians for your children

Kaycee you also have to think about the age of your DH's parents are they going to want to raise a teenager when they are 70?????

Kaycee0921 Posted: Jun 20, 2003 09:32 AM

Re: Legal guardians for your children

I have considered that as well, they are in their early 50's. But yes, my MIL would! She would move in here just to be able to see them daily! If she doesn't see them for a few days she goes through withdrawal. And I thank my lucky stars every day for it! She takes the twins for the whole day at least once a week for me.

I so dread this discussion but as I am now a responsible adult parent person, I need to S*CK it up and go for it. I just dread a repeat of the whole godparent thing.

jenny11.9 Posted: Jun 20, 2003 09:39 AM

Re: Legal guardians for your children

I am the legal guardian for my sister's four children. It would be a huge responsibility but one that I would take on with great faith and willingness. We are naming my younger sister (29, newlywed) and her husband as legal guardian to our child.

Stef28 Posted: Jun 20, 2003 10:17 AM

Re: Legal guardians for your children

We haven't discussed what we'll do when we have kids but my DH is our good friend's daughter's godfather. They also asked both of us to be the legal guardians should anything happen to them.

I was suprised that they didn't choose family but they felt that our values were closer to theirs than anyone in there family.

Needless to say we were honored -- but realize the great importance of being guardians, should we ever need to raise their children.

michele31 Posted: Jun 20, 2003 10:53 AM

Re: Legal guardians for your children

I think it is one thing to be a wonderful grandparent and is a totally different thing to be a parent of a teenager at 60 or older. I also think it depends on the grandparent's life style. some grandparents love their freedom and traveling, some still work. I also feel that with age can bring illness and i don't want my child dealing with a sick grandmother/grandfather that is also their guardian at an early age. Loving a grandchild doesn't automatically equal being a legal guardian in my opinion.
Scott and I started to discuss this and honestly my only concern is that his sister lives in MA. Our children will be raised here, not there and if something were to happen to us I don't know if moving to a different state, away from the family and friends that he/she knows is a good idea. That might also add even more stress to the situation for the child and my family members. So the discuss will continue for a bit.
I think it is very hard

Jeanene Posted: Jun 20, 2003 12:38 PM

Re: Legal guardians for your children

I have done some work for an Estate attorney and I know that this is a difficult topic.

I know that in your Will you can state that while you are choosing XX to be your child's guardian, you would like the guardian to foster relationships with both sides of the family. Also I think that you can also give the guardian a relocation option, to move to your home until your child is 18 so that the child would not have to uprooted at a difficult time. Just some more food for thought....

My DH and I have started talking about this but have not made any decicions.