Li girl in Harlem???

If it's good enough/safe enough for a friend, it's good enough for you.

A lot of parts of Harlem are nothing like what people think of when they hear HArlem. A few summers ago I taught kids in Harlem and it was the heart of 'Harlem'. A poor black area. And you know what? I loved it. I loved the active street culture there, families convening outside, sharing food and stories. Sure there was the odd junky milling about, but I saw the same amount working downtown too. I was one of the only white people I ever saw there, but I really didn't feel afraid or initmidated. I took it all in, just like you can take in the sights of chinatown, or little italy, or another place where there's another culture being expressed. I honestly don't think you need to be too afraid. If you really are, ask her to take you to her favorite midtown restaurant that's close to Penn Station so it'll be easy for you to get home,

It's ok to be afraid. I'm having my Fh come with me to the slipper room tomorrow night for our big opening so I won't have to take the subway alone at midnight.

While a lot of people disagree with the way you posted your fears, if you really are afraid, then your safety is the most important thing. But I don;t think your friend would put you ina situation where you would be in danger. Why not talk to her about itA? Ask her what her area is like and tell her you're concerned and if there are streets you should avoid on your walk from the trains tation....Once I was visitng my friend at Columbia and I thought 'oh I know the city' so I was a smart azz and I took the BMT straight up instead of switching to the 1, 9. It turned out I was on the other side of mornignside park and I had to walk around the park at like 10 at night, and it was desolate and I was pretty freaked out. I should have listened and just taken the 1.9. Plus it was a really long walk and there was not a cab in sight.

Good Luck

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Posted by myasmom

Shoot we went to little neck two weeks ago and saw a heap of Cops gasp..cuffing a kid at a gas station..HMMMM

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hee hee
and little neck is one of the richest neighborhoods in Queens!

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Posted by akaMrsT

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Posted by snowflake

Please help, girls ...

A great of mine from childhood lives in the city (Harlem, actually) and I live in western Suffolk. Work and the literal distance between us keeps us apart but I'd still like to get together every once in a while and hang out.

Problem is, IT'S HARLEM! I know that's not the 'PC' thing to say (or write) but I'm kinda scared to go visit her apartment at night. DH and I went last year for a party and it was a really bad neighborhood (tons of homeless, kids fighting in the streets, bars on windows, etc).

I don't want to create a problem with our friendship but also don't want to be fearful when (or if) I visit. Btw, I've been in my house for over a year and she hasn't come to visit me yet.

Edited for spelling

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Hmmmm.....I agree that if she has not made the effort to visit then you do not need to put yourself out. Harlem is a hike from Suffolk.

Where does your friend live, in a crack house or something You are aware that Harlem is more gentrified than many parts of Long Island, right

You're scared and fearful of being there at night Why I have many friends who live in Harlem and it is completely safe. Some have lived there for at least 15 years while others are more recent (like 5 years or so in Harlem). Many of them love it so much that they are only looking to purchase in Harlem. And for those who own already, they are looking for larger space in Harlem since a few of them are having kids.

As for the homeless (or people that you may have mistaken for being homeless) and the kids fighting in the streets - try walking through Port Authority.

The bars on the windows is normal, it's NYC. There are laws about kids under 10 years old - you have to have bars on the widows. I get a notice about this from our management company every year. If a child falls out of a window the landlord will be liable.

I live in a gated community. Every house and brownstone has bars on the windows on the first floor. I was just in a $2 million home last week in my neighborhood (Brooklyn) and they have bars on the windows and a huge iron gate on the door. As do at least 5 of the homes I have shown lately - all in great areas and all at least $1.7 million each. Bars on the windows are not a sign of crime in NYC but a sign of safety (and that a child under 10 most likely live(d) in that unit).

Depending on where she lives (aside from a crack house block) Harlem is just as safe as any other place in NYC. Bill Clinton's office is in Harlem and there are $500K condos are located all up and down Madison in Harlem. Harlem gets a bad rap in the news but it is just as safe, if not safer than any other part of NYC.

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Well said

I LOVE Harlem - I used to go to college parties all the time there - and was so into those amazing apartments with high ceilings, the funky little shops, cafes, so many awesome hangouts - I wanted to live there so badly but couldnt afford it - I actually lived in Bklyn and loved it to...

You know what? I don't want to repeat your ignorant, but you really are. I live right in huntington village and someone got shot there the other day... A few months ago a kid was stabbed right in front of the movie theater. It doesnt matter where you go - I lived in Vermont for 2 years, and people were getting arrested in their crack houses right in Burlington...

Slightly off topic but I saw Harlem and all I can think of is DINOSAUR BARBECUE!!!! (this diet is killing me!) Has anyone gone? I think it's on 131st.
And by the way, if you're so freaked out about traveling so far up town, why not just meet somewhere in midtown? Perhaps your ignorant attitude toward Harlem is why your very good friend has not managed to set some time aside in the past year to visit with you... Perhaps she is offended... Perhaps she has outgrown you and your stereotypes.
Oh, and if you do venture back uptown, definitely try Dinosaur!

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Posted by kara10152006

Slightly off topic but I saw Harlem and all I can think of is DINOSAUR BARBECUE!!!! (this diet is killing me!) Has anyone gone? I think it's on 131st.
And by the way, if you're so freaked out about traveling so far up town, why not just meet somewhere in midtown? Perhaps your ignorant attitude toward Harlem is why your very good friend has not managed to set some time aside in the past year to visit with you... Perhaps she is offended... Perhaps she has outgrown you and your stereotypes.
Oh, and if you do venture back uptown, definitely try Dinosaur!

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I second the Dinosaur. I have eaten there in Syracuse and in Rochester. I havent made it to Harlem yet. Not because I am frightened, but because I didnt go to college there (as I did in Syracuse) and nobody invited us to a wedding there (like they did in Rochester). We WILL go though. DH plays football on Randalls Island in the fall and he gets hungry after!

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Posted by Goldi1021
...I second the Dinosaur. I have eaten there in Syracuse and in Rochester. I havent made it to Harlem yet. Not because I am frightened, but because I didnt go to college there (as I did in Syracuse) and nobody invited us to a wedding there (like they did in Rochester). We WILL go though. DH plays football on Randalls Island in the fall and he gets hungry after!

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FH went to Syracuse, that's how we started going to the Harlem location. Every year when all of his Orange friends come in for the big east tournament we go - I also manage to sneak a few other visits in throughout the year too! The Harlem one is not as um, rustic as the Syracuse location, but the food is definitely on par! We'll have to try the Rochester one next!

Sorry but this entire post is so dumb and completely pointless... bottom line, if you're afraid to go to where she lives, then meet up with your friend somewhere else in Manhattan or in Queens or wherever is convenient for both of you to get to. No explanation needed to her or anyone else. DUH.

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Posted by lolita4life

maybe you should opt for going to the mall instead. take your SUV ,drive it on down to walt whitman mall. get something nice. then maybe stop for fake tan, some blonde highlights and a mani/pedi.

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I had started to say that you all were being very hard on someone who asked a question............
But I went back and read the thread, and Snowflake's second post on this thread changed my mind. Someone gave her a legitimate answer and possible solution and she insutled that person. So, now I can see why the vultures came out about this!!! Sorry ladies, 'vultures' is what I always call it when a bunch of girls jump on a thread--for something positive or negative!

I think more than perpetuating a stereotype that Harlem and 'parts of Brooklyn and Queens' are bad, the OP is perpetuating a stereotype that 'LI girls' are wimpy, elitist and unadventurous.

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Posted by Goldi1021

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Posted by kara10152006

Slightly off topic but I saw Harlem and all I can think of is DINOSAUR BARBECUE!!!! (this diet is killing me!) Has anyone gone? I think it's on 131st.
And by the way, if you're so freaked out about traveling so far up town, why not just meet somewhere in midtown? Perhaps your ignorant attitude toward Harlem is why your very good friend has not managed to set some time aside in the past year to visit with you... Perhaps she is offended... Perhaps she has outgrown you and your stereotypes.
Oh, and if you do venture back uptown, definitely try Dinosaur!

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I second the Dinosaur. I have eaten there in Syracuse and in Rochester. I havent made it to Harlem yet. Not because I am frightened, but because I didnt go to college there (as I did in Syracuse) and nobody invited us to a wedding there (like they did in Rochester). We WILL go though. DH plays football on Randalls Island in the fall and he gets hungry after!

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There's a dinosaur BBQ in harlem? DH is going to FLIP OUT when I tell him this. He is from upstate and always telling me about the one in ROcheseter, I dont think he has any idea there is one so close to home!!!