lipglossjunky73

I feel the same way Cindy I think once we all have the same last name I'll just have that more comfortable feeling. Not like I'm not comfortable now, but you know what I mean. We'll finally be a family too!

Sometimes I just get sad thinking that he's done all this before too, but then he reminds me that he's never done those things with ME. I try to focus on the fact that I'M the one who gets to spend the rest of my life with him, and the past is the past. It's good tho bc I KNOW that he's such a wonderful father, I think he's going to be great when I'm a 1st time parent freaking out about every lil thing!!

I like the GTG idea too, us step-moms need to stick together. It's completely different getting married to someone when there are kids involved.

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Posted by drtrish03

Aida,
Unfortunately not. I tried in the beginning. She blamed me for their breakup, but I didn't even know my FI when she threw him out. I guess she just needs an excuse.

She did come up to me once while we were dropping off the kids (she was drinking), but she did say thank you for all that I do for the kids and that the kids really do love me. That really meant alot to me. Unfortunately, she says so many bad things about FI, calling him a bad father, etc,etc, etc, so it's very hard for me to like her.

The only thing is, and I know this believe me, I need to be the bigger person for the kids sake. It's just so freakin hard! I don't want them growing up thinking that we can't be in the same room together or around eachother. When I think about that, it bothers the living poop out of me!

What about you?

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Oh God NO!!!! She doesn't even want to acknowledge that I'm a real part of her kids life or his for that matter because me and FH are not married. Ex: Her husband has a daughter and that's her daughter's sister BUT my son is nothing to her daughter because me and FH are not MARRIED!!!! She doesn't know when we're getting
married!!!

I know exactly how you feel. I WISH we could have a good relationship for the KIDS SAKE!!! BUT, she's too difficult and truthfully, I think she's a BAD MOTHER!!! (another long story)!!! BUT, my ex and my FH get along great!!! That's kinda weird for me too!!!

I thought I was the only one who felt that way about wishing it could have been us to do everything 1st together - but since he is 10 years older than I am, much of that would have been illegal anyway...

He has an amicable situation with his ex, so yes, we get along - she is very nice. However, her personality is different, and she does things we don't agree with when it comes to the gilrs - like spoiling them by buying whatever they want, which makes us look like the bad guys. Since she has sole custody, there is little we can do - we have them every other wknd, plus 2 nights for dinner, and fridays overnight even if its not our wknd - so they are with us a lot...

I don't feel like a om to them though... I really do feel like a stepmom... I have a stepmom as well, who is basically my mom at this point. She is a very very difficult person to deal with, so our relationship is strained. My relationship with my dad is stratined as a result becuase he's the quiet 'man behind the newspaper' type. I swore I would never get between FH and the girls and the relationships I want them to have, but sometimes I'm not sure my role in all of this. After 2 years, its hard not to care and butt in, and want things for them... and for us...

Very strange...

Because of his ex and how she raises them, I once told FH - I feel like I am dealing with 'someone ' else's jkids - and their not even yours - their hers and her boyfriends... I know it hurt him to hear that, but I feel its true...

anyway, I'm just venting now - sorry...

QUOTE]

Oh God NO!!!! She doesn't even want to acknowledge that I'm a real part of her kids life or his for that matter because me and FH are not married. Ex: Her husband has a daughter and that's her daughter's sister BUT my son is nothing to her daughter because me and FH are not MARRIED!!!! She doesn't know when we're getting
married!!!

I know exactly how you feel. I WISH we could have a good relationship for the KIDS SAKE!!! BUT, she's too difficult and truthfully, I think she's a BAD MOTHER!!! (another long story)!!! BUT, my ex and my FH get along great!!! That's kinda weird for me too!!!

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I feel its like that in my own family - my stepsister has her kids call my dad grandpa (he has a LOT of money btw, and he hired my brother-in-law, Step sis' husband) but I am not considered aunt (they have been married 20 years...)

When my other stepsister died, I introduced myself to people as her sister - and no one knew what I was talking about - I just figured my stepfamily acknowledged me in that way to other people - but they never did - meantime, people sometimes mistake my stepsister for my dad's daughter because they make sure she is seen that way... very tough situation...

I'm posting on the instafamily thread to you Liza.

Liza, I know exactly what you mean. FH is actually 16.5 years older than me so yes it would've been quite illegal for me to experience all those things with him 1st!! But I figure we're both adults NOW and that's what counts. I thought not being together bc of the age difference would've been awfully shallow of me, he's a great man and certainly deserves a 2nd chance at love & marriage. We would have problems if we both didn't want the same things, but we do so it's all good. I've dated guys my age and it didn't work out, so now I'm with Kevin and I've never been happier!!!

His ex and I do get along..to a point. I don't agree with a lot that she does, the decisions she makes or how she behaves around the kids. But as a person, she's nice and we can talk, laugh and be civil. I am just thankful that we have custody of them.

moving over to the instafamily thread....