Little Johnny Jokes.......

Little Johnny Jokes.......

Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, 'Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?'

'None,' replied Johnny, 'cause the rest would fly away.'

'Well, the answer is four,' said the teacher, 'but I like the way you're thinking.'

Little Johnny says, 'I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?'

'Well,' said the teacher nervously, 'I guess the one sucking the cone.'

'No,' said Little Johnny, 'the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking.'

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I love little johnny, he sure does crack me up!

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Little Johnny was starting his first day at a new school and his father called the teacher to tell her that little Johnny was a big gambler. She said that it was no problem and she has seen worse than that. After Little Johnny's first day at his new school his father called the teacher to see how it went. She said, 'I think I broke his gambling'. The father asked how and she said, 'He bet me $5.00 that I had a **** on my butt, so I pulled down my pants and won his money.' 'DAMN!' said the father. 'What's wrong?', the teacher asked. Little Johnny's father said, 'This morning he bet me $100.00 he would see his teacher's butt before the day was over!'

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Posted by LIWeddings NYCityWeddings

I love this one!

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!' After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, 'Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?' 'No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!

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Little Johnny, on a day when he was being particularly reckless, was playing in the backyard one morning. Soon, some honeybees started swirling around, annoying little Johnny. He began stomping on them in his temper. His father caught him trampling the honeybees, and after a brief moment of thought said, 'That's it! No honey for you for one month!' Later that afternoon, Johnny pondered upon some butterflies, and soon started catching them and crushing them under his feet. His father again caught him, and after a brief moment of thought, said, 'No butter for you for one month!' Early that evening, Johnny's mother was cooking dinner, and got jumpy when cockroaches started scurrying around the kitchen floor. She began stomping on them one by one until all the cockroaches were dead. Johnny's mother looked up to find Johnny and his father standing there watching her, to which Johnny said,
'Are you going to tell her, daddy, or do you want me to?'