Living together adjustment period

For those living together and past the whole adjustment period, how long did it take you to get used to each other's ways... Just curious, as balancign adjustment and wedding is a tough task.

Re: Living together adjustment period

I was comfortable living with FH from day one! I'm sure the adjustment period is not that long!

Re: Living together adjustment period

It really didnt take us long because i was spending a lot of time at his place on weekends and we were used to each others habbits. When I finally officially moved in with him we really didnt have the adjustment period because i was spending a lot of time at his place already and staying by him on weekends

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Well I think it depends on the schedules. I was very busy when FH moved in and he wasn't. So we had a bit of an adjustment. Also I don't know why he thought I would have dinner cooked

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Before moving in together we spent every single free moment together so we never expected the ABSOLUTE HELL the first few months of living together would be!

Actually, the first few months were ok...it was the 3-9 month period that was a real b1tch. Cant say exactly how long because I went crazy and prolonged the terribleness myself (not realizing how normal an adjustment period is since I have never lived with anyone before and didnt have any friends in my situation).

So i guess I would give it a solid 9 months before making any major decisions.

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We definitely went through an adjustment period! I used to live on my own for five years, and then I had to consider another person when I cooked, put my coat on the couch, etc. It took about 5 months before we were completely comfortable with each other's habits and not let our flaws kill each other. I used to be such a neat freak and I had to learn to let go and David made an effort to not throw his crap everywhere! Now the little things don't bother us.

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Alina, I have to tell you, FH and I are still adjusting and finding new things about each other! And yesterday was a year we have been engaged/living together. I think it's unserstanding each other and each others roles..like who does what, so either one does not get frustrated. Does that make sense? Also, LOTS of communication. I was so used to being independent, and now there is a 'we'...I think it just takes time. And all these little arguments we have, my FH says are just getting to know you fights, that bring us closer together...hang in there!

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We dont have hell, or anything close to that, but we do fight more often than we did when we lived apart and only saw each other on the weekends.

The fights are usually in one way or another related to small wedding details, not so much to actual living situation.

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We do not officially live together yet, but I do spend a lot of time at his place.

My advice to you is to COMMUNCIATE. That is the foundation to any relationship.

I have been with my guy a looong time, and I am still learning alot about him.

We have had many conversations about how we will live together, i.e I like to fall asleep with the Tv on, he doesn't , making sure he cleans out the sink after he shaves, pitching in interms of cooking and cleaning, waking up with or without an alarm clock(I hate them) I know it sounds like trivial things, but people take them for granted and when they finally do live together these little things drive each other crazy.

I will admit it will be an adjustment, but you have to prepare yourself beforehand.

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Boy, can I write a book on this lol

When FH and I first moved in together we figured, hey, we're together all the time, so it won't be any dif.. it'll actually be wonderful! Well, let me tell you, we played house for like the first 3 weeks and then it was total chaos.. We argued alot and often got on each other's nerves.. but after about the six to 8 months, I would say that things settled down..

The only advice I can give you is this, do not deprive yourself of alone time.. even if it's an extra 20 minutes in the bathroom or in the other room reading a magazine.. you'll need it.. That was my mistake, too much thinking about 'we' instead of 'me' .. Also, make sure that you both communicate, you and your partner come from dif upbringing and what he and his family do at their house, may be dif from what you do.. Keep an open mind.. trust me, it's those little things that'll drive you nuts.. like when my FH hangs his just used towel on the closet door, it drives me nuts! but you have to remember that that's the way he's always done it.. I am used to undressing and putting things in its place, (ie hamper, closet, drawers), fh is used to undressing in one single spot.. crap like that...

Good luck.. it'll be great!

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We've been living together for 3 1/2 years... it was really difficult for me for about 6 months since i really didn't know too many people in the area...

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I think it was almost instantley for us...I cant remember back to 99

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We were fine from day one also because we saw each other so much anyway.We are also so much alike its not funny.I'm sure you'll be used to living together fairly quickly.

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FI moved in over Thanksgiving weekend and so far it's been pretty good.

Marcellabella is so right when she says to make sure you make time for yourself. My condo is pretty small, but when I need a break I go into the bedroom and watch TV while FI is downstairs.

It is definitely the little things that will get you - FI leaves his clothes EVERYWHERE!!! It's so freakin' annoying! I have learned to live with it - the good times together definitely outweight the little stupid things!

Good Luck!!!

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I have almost always lived alone-I had no brothers or sisters growing up and in college I shared a house w/ 6 other girls but we all ad our own bedrooms. So when FH moved in to my apartment it took a big adjustment. Like MarcellaBella said-we thought nothing would change---HA! It took about 6 months until we were both used to each others schedules (we have weird work times) plus he is definately not as much as a neat freak as I am. Now we are starting to adjust and conform to each other-lol!

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We've been living together for 4 years and sometimes we still bump heads when it comes to one another's habits. For us, the first couple of months we were on our best behaviour, then reality sunk in, and it probably took a few more months to adjust. (He's a night owl and I'm an early bird, so that took some getting used to).
It took us a lot of compromise and consideration but we are like to old people now and can't stand to be apart.

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There's a real learning curve & I think it's different for everyone. My hubby & his daughter moved into my house w/ me & my son about 10 months before the wedding. It was difficult at first, I think it took Rich about six months to really feel at home. He's great though, he cooks & cleans & shops when he can & he really never complains about anything(except that I have too much stuff).
We have 1 major unbreakable rule( it sounds basic, but none of our friends do it) we never say anything disrepectful to eachother, no matter how mad we are. Not even in a wise a*s way.
We had a few little bickers about wedding stuff too, I think that's all part of the process. Hang in there, he'll get used to your rules

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We had no problem from day 1 and we moved in together after dating for 3 months!
It's now been almost 3 yrs and never a problem with adjustment!

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Alina,
I think a lot depends on both partners presious living arrangments and their upbringing. Some people are more responsible and adjust easier, some are less. Also, everyone has different expectastions about what they want their home to be life!
My Fi and I have been living together for 8 months now, and I would say everything is starting to really fall into place: we know what each person expects, what ticks your partner off, what your responsibilities are etc.! You can know someone for a long time and discuss every detail till you are blue in the face, but you don't know them till you live with them! The first 3 weeks after we moved in, everything was lovey-dovey and we got along beautifully, then reality kicked in, it was time to go food shoping, do laundry, clean, cook, write checks and balance the check book! I can honestly tell you that the 4 months following the initial bliss were the worst months of my entire live! It was awfull, but it was worth it! Now we know what it takes to be a family, to be together and I think we appreciate each other a little more! I am just glad we moved in together before the wedding, not after, so it's all behind us now! Hang in there! It gets better! Really!

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UGH, we're still getting used to it after officially 3 months, unofficially about 9 months