living together before the wedding

pinkstar025 Posted: Jul 05, 2005 04:12 PM

living together before the wedding

OK, so Fh and I just signed our lease on Sunday ( YAY!!! ) but we are getting a lot of raissed eyebrows from people that say we shoudlnt live together and we shouldnt sleep in our bedroom yet and i should stay home and only he goes...or i should not be there for the month before...blah blah

i mean..if im forking up the cash for this place...im living there!!!

anyone else get this from people??

Mrs. dleeny Posted: Jul 05, 2005 04:15 PM

Re: living together before the wedding

1st of all, CONGRATS!!!!!!!!!!

2nd.... they need to get over it! It's 2005 not 1905!

IMO, it should be mandatory for a couple to live together first. Sleeping over each other's place is NOT like living together.

it's the practical and smart thing to do. Again, JMO.

natbella Posted: Jul 05, 2005 04:17 PM

Re: living together before the wedding

First off congratulations on your new home!! and secondly people should really keep their comments and raised eyebrows to themselves!! I mean it's 2005...and your right, your paying for it so you should definitely get to live in it!! Me and FI live together already but we also have a child too together (we are not your traditional family) But there are lots of us out there and who's to say what it right and what it wrong!!

Magooo221 Posted: Jul 05, 2005 04:30 PM

Re: living together before the wedding

I totally agree with Dleeny!!! Things definitely change when you live with someone and it is not the same as just sleeping over! I would not give it a second thought (as to the raised eyebrows)

acre730 Posted: Jul 05, 2005 04:30 PM

Re: living together before the wedding

Posted by dleeny

IMO, it should be mandatory for a couple to live together first. Sleeping over each other's place is NOT like living together.

Could not agree more....We got raised eyebrows..not from my parents but definately others...I absolutely stand by the idea that it was the best decision we made!!

103005FallBride Posted: Jul 05, 2005 04:35 PM

Re: living together before the wedding

Believe it or not we did NOT get any raised eyebrows...we've been dating 3 years and living together for 2 1/2 years!!!

If anyone would comment...I would tell them to get with it!!!

pinkstar025 Posted: Jul 05, 2005 04:35 PM

Re: living together before the wedding

thanks girls
yeah are parents are all for it
its the co-workers and the ones we arent soo close with but apparently close enough with for them to tell us what to do

JPC1125 Posted: Jul 05, 2005 04:38 PM

Re: living together before the wedding

I was shocked when on Oprah one day an expert said divorce rates are higher for couple who lived together

I think it BS...I love the fact that I know EXACTLY how FH acts day in and day out- how long he showers, what his buttons are so i dont push them

We were very lucky- not one person questioned us living together before unless it was behind our backs

cjik Posted: Jul 05, 2005 04:52 PM

Re: living together before the wedding

Congratulations! Though I'm sorry about the responses you are getting. We haven't had any comments, but then we are 37 and 42, plus most of my cousins and siblings have already done this, so the shock value may have worn off. Are you two of the first to live together in your family?

FYI--i fyou are anything like us, you will probably be so busy packing, unpacking, and planning your wedding, that you won't have much time or energy left for anything other than sleep many nights. So tell your family not to worry!

tanielle5k Posted: Jul 05, 2005 04:54 PM

Re: living together before the wedding

CONGRATS!!!

When I went to pre-cana they tried to give us the whole divorce-rate-is-higher-when-you-live-together thing but then FH started a huge debate about why their reasoning was not sound, it was really funny actually.

You are not kids, you guys are getting married, its not like you are rushing into things blindly and you will break up in 2 months.

brooklynbridezilla Posted: Jul 05, 2005 04:56 PM

Re: living together before the wedding

Congrats and have fun moving in- it is such a special time and you really get to know eachother on a new level.

And for the people who disapprove, I say screw 'em!

becks23 Posted: Jul 05, 2005 05:00 PM

Re: living together before the wedding

I think it totally makes sense to live together before the wedding.
Not only are FH and I saving $$ in rent, but we have gotten to learn every little thing about each other (good and bad) and are still in love!

pinkstar025 Posted: Jul 05, 2005 05:08 PM

Re: living together before the wedding

thats what i say!!

and we're not sleeping on the couch for 4 months (yes girls 4 months from tomorrow!!)
to make our bedroom ' speical'

thank you for mkaing me not feel like a 'bad girl'

mia72098 Posted: Jul 05, 2005 07:36 PM

Re: living together before the wedding

My fiance and I get that also. Oh well, they can get over it!!!

kia74 Posted: Jul 05, 2005 09:23 PM

Re: living together before the wedding

Congratulations.. FI and I have been living 2gether for 9 months.. We got the same reaction.
Blah Blah Blah to them

tjs Posted: Jul 05, 2005 09:47 PM

Re: living together before the wedding

do what makes you happy!!!! live for yourselves besides its not like you are moving in with some guy you just met he is your Fiance for christ sakes tell them get over it!!!

angelbear217 Posted: Jul 05, 2005 10:05 PM

Re: living together before the wedding

We live together and FH's dad and some of my relatives weren't too happy about it. But it beat living in two different states and hardly seeing each other.

tjs Posted: Jul 05, 2005 10:08 PM

Re: living together before the wedding

Posted by angelbear217

We live together and FH's dad and some of my relatives weren't too happy about it. But it beat living in two different states and hardly seeing each other.

urrghhh we did that for a year!!! it was horrible we saw eachother once a month

JBKempf Posted: Jul 05, 2005 10:21 PM

Re: living together before the wedding

Don't listen to everyone!!! It is the best thing ever. FH and I have been living together since we first got officially together and it is the best test! Of course things are different when you are living with your parents vs. on your own. But if you can't make it together pre-marriage, you know that would be a bad next step.

CONGRATS ON THE LEASE!! ENJOY!!!

Mushpot Posted: Jul 05, 2005 11:17 PM

Re: living together before the wedding

Do what makes you happy. I lived with my DH before, we had family issues that resulted in us living together, but.. Truth is, regardless of that, I wouldn't have changed a thing.

If you want to live with him, go for it! I think it's necessary to live with your mate before you marry them!!

What does everyone else think?? What if you find out he's a slob after being married? Then what?? Then you're stuck!! hahahah