Re: Living Together Before You're Married
We don't live together.
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Living Together Before You're Married
Original post by MonkeyLuv
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Re: Living Together Before You're Married
We have been living together for over 3 years now, we got engaged after 2 years (would have been sooner, but DH was unmployed for a bit) Anyway, it was my mom who suggested we move in together. We had been dating on and off for 6 years and I was moving out of my house anyway. She said that DH and I should 'sh1t or get off the pot' as she so elegantly phrased it. DH and I weren't even dating at the time. I told him either we mov in together and giv our relationship 100% effort (which we really hadn't done up to that point) or we can't continue seeing each other at all. A week later he said 'let's do it' and th rst is history. Neither of our parents had any issue with it and even bought us stuff for our new place. I know for my parents, they felt more secure with me living with DH than living by myself.
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Re: Living Together Before You're Married
We have been officially living together since Sept 03. We got engaged in June 04. I say officially b/c that is when he moved in. I was basically staying at his house 5 of 7 nights a week anyway.
I wouldn't have it any other way.
Our families were fine with it. We were together for 3.5 years before we moved in together.
I wouldn't have it any other way.
Our families were fine with it. We were together for 3.5 years before we moved in together.
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Re: Living Together Before You're Married
we've been living together for almost 3 years and have a 2 year old daughter...
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Re: Living Together Before You're Married
We live togeather and I think that it is great!! My parents were not all that happy about it but they have adjusted.
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Re: Living Together Before You're Married
We're living together for almost 2 years before we're getting married but we were engaged before we moved in together. Our parents were okay with it.
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Re: Living Together Before You're Married
My FH just moved in here this weekend but he was here every night anyway. I wouldn't have done it if we weren't getting married this summer. It was just a waste of money having two households.
My parents are so happy that I am FINALLY getting married they could care less. I am also pretty old.
My parents are so happy that I am FINALLY getting married they could care less. I am also pretty old.
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Re: Living Together Before You're Married
we lived together a year ahead of time to save money and parents didnt have an issue maybe because we are older?
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Re: Living Together Before You're Married
Yes, we live together....I moved in this past March. I know they are not crazy about it, but I'm 30, so I am kinda old for them to tell what I can and cannot do!
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Re: Living Together Before You're Married
We didn't live together before the wedding. My parents would have been VERY dissappointed (they are pretty old fashioned when it comes to that) but they probably would've gotten over it. However, DH and I agreed it was the best thing for US. We really wanted to start our new lives together as a married couple in a special way. We kinda felt that if we lived together before hand, what would be so different after we got married. DH actually HAD lived with an ex-girlfriend prior to me and he also preferred it this way.
We were very happy with our decision and we've been married almost two months now and there have been zero 'adjustment' issues. We just kinda fit together well and everything is falling into place. It's so much fun... and when we first came home from the honeymoon... it really felt like a new chapter in our lives. We weren't coming home to the same old thing. We loved that!
Anyway, this is what worked for us. We definitely considered LTBM and it would have made more sense financially, but we were very happy with waiting.
We were very happy with our decision and we've been married almost two months now and there have been zero 'adjustment' issues. We just kinda fit together well and everything is falling into place. It's so much fun... and when we first came home from the honeymoon... it really felt like a new chapter in our lives. We weren't coming home to the same old thing. We loved that!
Anyway, this is what worked for us. We definitely considered LTBM and it would have made more sense financially, but we were very happy with waiting.
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Re: Living Together Before You're Married
We lived together for 2 + years before we got married..
I am thankful we did. It was a BIG adjustment for me. So many changes that i am glad i got used to before being a Mrs.
I was really worried that this would be an issue but it wasn't. So i am very happy every thing worked out!
I am thankful we did. It was a BIG adjustment for me. So many changes that i am glad i got used to before being a Mrs.
I was really worried that this would be an issue but it wasn't. So i am very happy every thing worked out!
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Re: Living Together Before You're Married
i live with my fiance but it was mainly because of family problems.
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Re: Living Together Before You're Married
we lived together before we were engaged and our parents didnt have any issues with it thankfully!!
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Re: Living Together Before You're Married
We lived 2gether for 2 1/2 years b4 we got married. I was moving to Indiana for law school and DH followed. His dad was not too thrilled w/ the idea, but we really wanted to be together and we had been dating for over 3 1/2 years at the time.
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Re: Living Together Before You're Married
We did not live together before we got married.
We didn't do this for religious purposes as neither of us our religious.
However, we do both feel that there is an order in life to do things. We both felt strongly that living together should come with a marriage committment not without. We didn't feel we should live together to save money or to be closer as our relationship is not a convenience, but a desire to be together.
I've also read way too much research that people who live together prior to marriage have more of a chance of divorce. Whether this is for religious reasons or not, we didn't want to take the chance. The odds are awful as it is- why make them worse!
Needless to say, we've been married for 2 years now. Are we happy? Yes. Has it been easy? yes and no. Have their been adjustments? Yes. Has any of these adjustments had to do with who left the toilet seat up or who put the cap bag on the toothpaste? No.
If those adjustments are deal breakers, no amount of living together prior to marriage will make you ready. All important issues should be cleared prior to walking down that aisle (money, future goals, etc) whether living together or not.
No recipe for relationship success is perfect. However, thinking a couple has a 'leg up' from living together before marriage is foolish. Those types of day-to-day issues shouldn't affect a strong relationship. And if they do, well... then maybe marriage was a wrong choice.
We didn't do this for religious purposes as neither of us our religious.
However, we do both feel that there is an order in life to do things. We both felt strongly that living together should come with a marriage committment not without. We didn't feel we should live together to save money or to be closer as our relationship is not a convenience, but a desire to be together.
I've also read way too much research that people who live together prior to marriage have more of a chance of divorce. Whether this is for religious reasons or not, we didn't want to take the chance. The odds are awful as it is- why make them worse!
Needless to say, we've been married for 2 years now. Are we happy? Yes. Has it been easy? yes and no. Have their been adjustments? Yes. Has any of these adjustments had to do with who left the toilet seat up or who put the cap bag on the toothpaste? No.
If those adjustments are deal breakers, no amount of living together prior to marriage will make you ready. All important issues should be cleared prior to walking down that aisle (money, future goals, etc) whether living together or not.
No recipe for relationship success is perfect. However, thinking a couple has a 'leg up' from living together before marriage is foolish. Those types of day-to-day issues shouldn't affect a strong relationship. And if they do, well... then maybe marriage was a wrong choice.
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Re: Living Together Before You're Married
We live together, his parents were thrilled.
Mine had a conniption. But, they got over it and have completely accepted it. I still think they pray for my soul, but at least they keep it to themselves!!![]()
I wouldn't have it any other way - we HAD to live together, we really would have been miserable if we did not (and it makes so much more sense financially instead of sharing the rent of a 2 bedroom with a girlfriend!
Mine had a conniption. But, they got over it and have completely accepted it. I still think they pray for my soul, but at least they keep it to themselves!!
I wouldn't have it any other way - we HAD to live together, we really would have been miserable if we did not (and it makes so much more sense financially instead of sharing the rent of a 2 bedroom with a girlfriend!
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Re: Living Together Before You're Married
Sassy, I heard that statistic too! I don't know why it is. I don't think one is necesarily the result of another, but it may be acorrelation, because sometimes people who live togehter before marriage decided to live together as the next step, rather than maing the commitment of marriage right away and they were not gung ho on marriage to begin with....so I don't think people who a;ll along intended to get married but couldn't right awya b/c they wanted time to plan, graduate, save $$ whatever necessarly have lower chances. I already said I can't live with FH b/c of aprents, among other things. his parents want me to move in with him (I think they're hopwing we'll drive each other insane and call it off) but I do stay with FH on weekend and we consider it 'our' home even though it's only his. I get a hand in makig household decisions and I help him making it a home, not just an apt. I've had a lot of adjustment to make...it gets really rough, with the dirty socks live in the hamper thing,and the toothpaste, toilet seat things..I think things like that are adjustments..and I'm seeing now how difficult it is, that even on the most superficial level, marriage isn't all sunshine and roses..you really need to learn how to live with someone else. I think the experience, even of our limited time together on weekends have deepend our relationship and I think in the long run it'll make us at leasts lightly more prepared for marrige, because we already know now that we need a king size bed, that I'm going to do all of the laundry, etc...I'm glad we won;t live togehter until we're married though. i really want it to be a new adventure and I know it will be!
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Re: Living Together Before You're Married
We've been living together now for 3 years and have been together for 6. I'm soooo glad we did this!
We decided that us living together would confirm that we should be together, or save us from a mistake. We had some problems along the way with family members, though. My dad strongly opposed it and said he does not approve and would never come to our house- guess what he did- he's been here a few times even though he lives so far. My mom said she wishes she would have lived with my dad before they got married (now not together)![]()
. But some of our other family members didn't like it either.
The thing is, that getting married is an adjustment in itself. You're learning to live with another person. Then marriage on top of that is another adjustment. I think that's why they say that the first year of marriage is the hardest.
It's right for some, and not for others. Not everyone's going to approve, but you have to do what's right for you. They'll all fall in line eventually. Good luck.
We decided that us living together would confirm that we should be together, or save us from a mistake. We had some problems along the way with family members, though. My dad strongly opposed it and said he does not approve and would never come to our house- guess what he did- he's been here a few times even though he lives so far. My mom said she wishes she would have lived with my dad before they got married (now not together)
The thing is, that getting married is an adjustment in itself. You're learning to live with another person. Then marriage on top of that is another adjustment. I think that's why they say that the first year of marriage is the hardest.
It's right for some, and not for others. Not everyone's going to approve, but you have to do what's right for you. They'll all fall in line eventually. Good luck.
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Re: Living Together Before You're Married
We have been living together for a year and engaged for 6 months. I am so happy we moved in together before the wedding. I lived with an ex-boyfriend and it basically made my decision to never marry him. You learn so much more about a person when you live with them. Parents never said anything either time.
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Re: Living Together Before You're Married
My FH and I are getting married in April and plan on moving in together in February. The reason for this is I would like to have our new place all set up before the wedding so it's one less thing I have to worry about.
I would have loved to move in with him long ago, but my parents were totally against it. That would not normally have stopped me, but my FH and I had money issues in the past, so it just wasn't feasible.
I have no idea what the big deal is, but for some reason, my parents just 'don't think it's right to live with someone before you get married'.
I would have loved to move in with him long ago, but my parents were totally against it. That would not normally have stopped me, but my FH and I had money issues in the past, so it just wasn't feasible.
I have no idea what the big deal is, but for some reason, my parents just 'don't think it's right to live with someone before you get married'.
