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LONG - Am I being a baby?

Original post by agentangel

A little background info...My FI's parents despite making a lot more money than mine (in the 7 figures!) are giving us $5,000 for the wedding - minus any wedding related expenses that they spend (nice gift huh?). So basically I see it as a max $5,000 budget for the RD. Thing is, EVERYONE is coming from OOT and we have large families. My FMIL only only wants to invite the bridal party. It doesn't make sense to me to invite my FI's cousin who is in the wedding, but not his aunt (who is also flying in) or his other cousins (same family - also OOT). It's just rude.

My parents want to throw an informal party either before or after the wedding for people we don't invite to the actual wedding - we're keeping our reception small because of the budget. My mom suggested that we just combine the RD with the informal party so we can invite OOT guests to the RD too.

I'm stubborn. I know my parents will throw an awesome party but I don't want his parents to share any credit for it. I know this is childish but they've done NOTHING to help. They're not even gifting us the $5000, they're reimbusing us. We have to give receipts first.

Should I just combine the two events? Or not have a RD?
agentangel Posted:

Re: LONG - Am I being a baby?

Posted by tray831

Posted by agentangel

I just don't think they like the fact that the wedding is in NY and not closer to them...As my FMIL explains, 'NY is really not our style.'


I'm curious to know, what is FMIL style if its not NY? Where are they from? Do they have their nose too far up in the air to appreciate the fresh-smelling flowers below???


They're suburban small town folk. Cotton farms and oil. And I'm the evil big city girl!
halfpintny Posted:

Re: LONG - Am I being a baby?

Don't get me started about FH's parents! There are not contributing a dime. But it has been made VERY clear that if they do not host the RD then their side of the family will not be invited to the wedding. Lord knows I hope it doesn't come down to that. Use the money to throw the RD and then have the informal party AFTER the wedding. Combining them might make people that were not invited to the wedding uncomfortable.

arosa Posted:

Re: LONG - Am I being a baby?

Reimbursement? Why can't they just give you the money. ***, this isn't a business, it's your wedding. Girl, it is not cheesy to have the RD in a chinese buffet. Shoot, I probably won't even have a rehearsal dinner. At the rate I am going there probably won't be a wedding. That is another story. But you keep your head up and do what you can with your budget. About the OOT, I would invite them. It is your wedding and you have say as to who should go to the RD.

tray831 Posted:

Re: LONG - Am I being a baby?

Posted by agentangel

Posted by tray831

Posted by agentangel

I just don't think they like the fact that the wedding is in NY and not closer to them...As my FMIL explains, 'NY is really not our style.'


I'm curious to know, what is FMIL style if its not NY? Where are they from? Do they have their nose too far up in the air to appreciate the fresh-smelling flowers below???


They're suburban small town folk. Cotton farms and oil. And I'm the evil big city girl!


What state? Upstate NY?
agentangel Posted:

Re: LONG - Am I being a baby?



What state? Upstate NY?


Oregon
amyandbill Posted:

Re: LONG - Am I being a baby?

Posted by curliegirl

I would keep the events separate, it sounds too confusing already.

And if you aren't invitig some guests to the wedding, but to the RD, it sounds a little tacky.

Instead of giving the FILs receipts, just give them a copy of your catering hall contract.....surely that's over 5K, let them contribute to that. Just a little way you can screw with them....



I agree and the catering hall idea was exactly what I was thinking...if they don't want that have them pay for flowers, photography and dj!

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