Long Island Barbie - long
I hope that no one is offended by this!
Mattel recently announced the release of Limited Edition Barbie dolls for the Long Island market:
Mineola Barbie- This Modern Day Retro-Barbie comes with Two Teeth, Acid Washed Jeans, Leg Warmers, White Reeboks, Feathered Hair and a Double Ring Belt (Yes it is 2004). She also comes with Ken, herbrother/boyfriend, complete with house arrest bracelet and Dodge Neon. Parole Officer Sold Seperatly.
New Cassel- (Not Available) Who are you kidding? No one wants anything from New Cassel.
Garden City Barbie- This princess Barbie is only sold at Saks Fifth Avenue. She comes with an assortment of Coach handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired dog named Honey, and a 3500-square foot house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with 'augmented' version.
Herricks Barbie- This modern-day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full time occupation or secondary education. Traffic-jamming cell phone included, headset sold separately.
Great Neck Barbie - This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card, and country club membership. Also available for this set are
Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.
Hicksville Barbie - This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt, and Tweety Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Coors Light and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's a** when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a
confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.
Valley Stream Barbie - This collagen injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears a leopard print bikini outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends at the McMansion. Percocet prescription available.
Levittown Barbie - This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased Beer-Gut Ken out of Bristol Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter top. Also available with a mobile home.
Huntington Barbie - This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, archless feet, hairy armpits, no makeup, and
Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her 'Willow.' She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two
Huntington Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag sticker for free.
New Hyde Park Barbie - This Italian Princess Barbie comes with teased black hair, 12 gold chains, 7 gold bracelets, 8 rings and 1 ankle
bracelet. Included are a permanently attached cell phone and a black Monte Carlo with ILUVTONY license plates. The accompanying Ken doll has been replaced with a black haired Tony doll with hairy chest and gel/hairdryer kit.
Mattel recently announced the release of Limited Edition Barbie dolls for the Long Island market:
Mineola Barbie- This Modern Day Retro-Barbie comes with Two Teeth, Acid Washed Jeans, Leg Warmers, White Reeboks, Feathered Hair and a Double Ring Belt (Yes it is 2004). She also comes with Ken, herbrother/boyfriend, complete with house arrest bracelet and Dodge Neon. Parole Officer Sold Seperatly.
New Cassel- (Not Available) Who are you kidding? No one wants anything from New Cassel.
Garden City Barbie- This princess Barbie is only sold at Saks Fifth Avenue. She comes with an assortment of Coach handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired dog named Honey, and a 3500-square foot house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with 'augmented' version.
Herricks Barbie- This modern-day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full time occupation or secondary education. Traffic-jamming cell phone included, headset sold separately.
Great Neck Barbie - This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card, and country club membership. Also available for this set are
Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.
Hicksville Barbie - This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt, and Tweety Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Coors Light and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's a** when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a
confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.
Valley Stream Barbie - This collagen injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears a leopard print bikini outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends at the McMansion. Percocet prescription available.
Levittown Barbie - This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased Beer-Gut Ken out of Bristol Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter top. Also available with a mobile home.
Huntington Barbie - This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, archless feet, hairy armpits, no makeup, and
Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her 'Willow.' She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two
Huntington Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag sticker for free.
New Hyde Park Barbie - This Italian Princess Barbie comes with teased black hair, 12 gold chains, 7 gold bracelets, 8 rings and 1 ankle
bracelet. Included are a permanently attached cell phone and a black Monte Carlo with ILUVTONY license plates. The accompanying Ken doll has been replaced with a black haired Tony doll with hairy chest and gel/hairdryer kit.
