LONG vent about my sister (MOH).......

caper24 Posted: Jun 19, 2009 11:01 PM

LONG vent about my sister (MOH).......

The short version....a common theme throughout my life with her is that nothing can be just 'about me' and she will do all she can to make something about my wedding day be 'about her'.
First straw-- Her 2nd year wedding anniversary is the same day as my wedding (my mistake to pick 'her' date from the start, although she encouraged me to do so bc she thought it would be fun to celebrate our anniversaries every year together, but long story it was our only choice if we wanted our venue).....soooo she asks me if my DJ can play HER wedding song so she can have a SOLO COUPLE SPOTLIGHT dance w/her husband for their anniversary. I said, no, but I would be happy to have my DJ play their song and announce a Happy Anniversary to them and let EVERYONE dance to it. Not good enough, she was p*issed and gave me such grief !!!
Second straw-- She wants to have my makeup artist do her hair and makeup exactly like mine, same colors for lips and eyes, same hair updo style, etc AND she wants to wear the same perfume I am wearing.
Third and FINAL straw-- She told me today her speech is 20-25 minutes long. Now, I am not trying to be ungrateful, but that is WAY TOO LONG....it's like a class lecture. I think guests will get bored and not to mention I only get 4 hours I want to spend time mingling w/guests and dancing w/my FH! She was very insulted when I told her to keep it under 10 minutes, and she said, FINE, I'm just going say, 'GOOD LUCK' and that's all.

I know I am highly emotional and stressed right now, but please ladies, tell me if I am overreacting or is this just pure craziness on her part???

FutureMrsSoltan Posted: Jun 19, 2009 11:13 PM

Re: LONG vent about my sister (MOH).......

UMMM, pure craziness on her part. This is your day not hers. Tell her to stop trying to steal your spotlight. This is your time to shine. She had hers now she needs to step off.

drivwal Posted: Jun 19, 2009 11:47 PM

Re: LONG vent about my sister (MOH).......

whoa tell her to back up and remember that it is your day...she already had hers

rae234 Posted: Jun 19, 2009 11:48 PM

Re: LONG vent about my sister (MOH).......

ITA

MrsBlueRibbon Posted: Jun 20, 2009 12:33 AM

Re: LONG vent about my sister (MOH).......

Posted by FutureMrsSoltan

UMMM, pure craziness on her part. This is your day not hers. Tell her to stop trying to steal your spotlight. This is your time to shine. She had hers now she needs to step off.

ITA! She already had her day, now it's your turn. Tell her to back the truck up!

Tracey1979 Posted: Jun 20, 2009 01:41 AM

Re: LONG vent about my sister (MOH).......

Posted by MrsBlueRibbon

Posted by FutureMrsSoltan

UMMM, pure craziness on her part. This is your day not hers. Tell her to stop trying to steal your spotlight. This is your time to shine. She had hers now she needs to step off.

ITA! She already had her day, now it's your turn. Tell her to back the truck up!

10 minutes is still too long!!! seriously. time yourself in the car for 10 minutes or something. no more than 3 minutes!

JenBill61210 Posted: Jun 20, 2009 06:37 AM

Re: LONG vent about my sister (MOH).......

yeah and seriously who wants to sit through a speech for that long? tell her to back off, its your day!

lolalovesacroat Posted: Jun 20, 2009 07:24 AM

Re: LONG vent about my sister (MOH).......

OMG just say listen it is my wedding.
The 25 min tell her please cut it short
Maybe you can have your parents or brother-in-law talk some sense into her?

QueenPeach Posted: Jun 20, 2009 07:34 AM

Re: LONG vent about my sister (MOH).......

you are NOT overreacting!! holy cow! I've never heard of such a thing. Has she always been like this? I wouldn't even know what to do with her if she were my sister. If is so sweet of you to play her song/couples dance and announce their anniversary and that's all you should do. There's absolutely no need for her to have her own spotlight dance. She there to support you on your big day and it's not like it's a milestone 30th anniversary or something.
and having your exact makeup may not even be what's be what's best for her features. Can you tell your makeup artist not to do that no matter what she says?
I think 5 minutes max. If she goes for 20 minutes, guests will tune her out it'll be so boring.

Beware she doesn't sneak on a white dress to wear to your wedding!

I hope it all works out for you!

JAAMS Posted: Jun 20, 2009 09:38 AM

Re: LONG vent about my sister (MOH).......

omg! You are not overreacting AT ALL! I think you need to sit her down and be like listen, this is my wedding, you had your turn!

I'm so sorry you're going through this

MrsSoto Posted: Jun 20, 2009 09:42 AM

Re: LONG vent about my sister (MOH).......

Posted by JAAMS

omg! You are not overreacting AT ALL! I think you need to sit her down and be like listen, this is my wedding, you had your turn!

Yup! You are not overreacting at all, I think by this point, I woulda been like, if you think this is gonna be about you, you can not attend the wedding at all much less be my MOH. Seriously, her requests are a bit insane..sorry, I know its your sister but really now!

susannjames10 Posted: Jun 20, 2009 09:54 AM

Re: LONG vent about my sister (MOH).......

i would be so hurt if my sister acted this way. She's forgetting this day is about you and is being very selfish. i would have a serious talk with her before it gets too out of control.

BellaBride27 Posted: Jun 20, 2009 10:05 AM

Re: LONG vent about my sister (MOH).......

She had her wedding and now its time for you to have yours!

sandybeaches115 Posted: Jun 20, 2009 10:44 AM

Re: LONG vent about my sister (MOH).......

Just sit her down and tell her how you feel...say that this is your special day and although it's her anniversary, she can't take the spotlight away from you on your day! Playing the song is nice enough...you do NOT have to give her a solo dance.

hope it all works out!

JillandJoe Posted: Jun 20, 2009 11:18 AM

Re: LONG vent about my sister (MOH).......

tell her she had her day, this is yours... she has to look back and think if you did this to her she'd be mad too

ashortgirl Posted: Jun 20, 2009 01:24 PM

Re: LONG vent about my sister (MOH).......

that's not cool. in my mind 'spotlight' dances are ok for like the grandparents anniversary dance, or their wedding song or whatever to honor someone older in the family. maybe the parents, but def. not the moh. same stylist is o.k, same style is not! and a speech of 20 minutes is not going to work. first of all it's a toast, not a speech and it's 3-5 minutes long. good luck nipping this in the bud!

Juhgail Posted: Jun 20, 2009 03:23 PM

Re: LONG vent about my sister (MOH).......

1. Since this is YOUR wedding no one WANTS to watch her and her husband do a 'solo spotlight dance'. She is just stupid for suggesting it. Good for you for saying you play the song and let anyone dance.

2. Makeup and hair? What F'ing B. If it comes down to it just sy no. If she is pissed too bad. When you are getting your hair done tell the people to NOT do her hair the same way. Tell them NOT to use the same color. Tell your sister SHE is being unreasonable.

3. If thats what she is going to do about the speech, fine. I say you ask a close friend and say look. Im having problems with my MOH. Would you consider thinking about doing a speech on the day if my sister is a big fat nasty C word that day?

Honestly. When it comes to this kind of crap it really pisses me off.

GOOD FOR YOU to stand up to her. She has NO regard for YOUR feelings. You can be nice once, even twice. But if she still does not get it you dont worry about how you treat her.

chicky724 Posted: Jun 20, 2009 09:25 PM

Re: LONG vent about my sister (MOH).......

Wow.... you def have a right to vent!!! I don't know what I'd do if my sister was like that!

GR2010 Posted: Jun 20, 2009 09:30 PM

Re: LONG vent about my sister (MOH).......

She's being ridiculous. A 20 minute speech? Her own dance? NO WAY.

She had her day already.

MrsCM Posted: Jun 20, 2009 10:11 PM

Re: LONG vent about my sister (MOH).......

She's way out of line. I'd tell her she gets up to ten minutes for her speech, she cannot have your hair and makeup style and she doesn't get a spotlight dance. She had her day two years ago and at least for one day in your life, this will be about you! I wouldn't have the DJ even wish her a happy anniversary, I'd give them a little toast and say congrats to them.

At the end of the day with someone like this, she WILL want it to be about her so she will not just say good luck.