MAID OF HONOR?????

nypdgirl Posted: Nov 24, 2004 04:29 PM

MAID OF HONOR?????

It's unfort. that me & my lil 17yr old sis are not close @ all......She has alot of serious issues & I just don't like the way she acts... My dilema is fam keeps talking & getting invovled asking me what i want to do & if i am having her in my wedding @ all. I already made my dec months ago for my maid of honor is my best friend & the closest thing to me besides my fiance. But i still get greif from my fam & i'm tired of it. Should i have her in my wedding party @ all????? Or even invite her????? HELP

myssd Posted: Nov 24, 2004 04:32 PM

Re: MAID OF HONOR?????

i personally would make her a bridesmaid, just t keep peace with the family. in the future you may become friends with her and you might regret not having her a part of your wedding

randella Posted: Nov 24, 2004 04:35 PM

Re: MAID OF HONOR?????

Posted by myssd

i personally would make her a bridesmaid, just t keep peace with the family. in the future you may become friends with her and you might regret not having her a part of your wedding

true- but don;t make her MOH- and without knowing the details of your relationship-- don't count on her carrinying her BM weight. She'd be more of a fixture-- who knows the sitch. might bring you two closer.

nypdgirl Posted: Nov 24, 2004 04:35 PM

Re: MAID OF HONOR?????

Posted by myssd

i personally would make her a bridesmaid, just t keep peace with the family. in the future you may become friends with her and you might regret not having her a part of your wedding

Thats what my BF said to do.....B/C when they are teenagers they just don't understand & when she is all grown up she will.....Thanks your answer means alot! Keep'em comming guys..

alibali Posted: Nov 24, 2004 04:36 PM

Re: MAID OF HONOR?????

i would definitely invite her. she is your sister so most people will probably say make her a bridesmaid. i think you should too. but if you're totally dead set against it, what about including her in the wedding in other ways?

i know there was a post recently about how to include friends even when they weren't part of the BP.

nypdgirl Posted: Nov 24, 2004 04:39 PM

Re: MAID OF HONOR?????

She basically brushed me off when i was picking out weddign gowns......She really just cares about herself & well i have to add she has severe mental issues & on meds...so i cant really count on her for much of anything....She is not supportive & they want me to join her therp class & talk things out about the being there for me @ the wedding.....

nypdgirl Posted: Nov 24, 2004 04:40 PM

Re: MAID OF HONOR?????

Posted by alibali

i would definitely invite her. she is your sister so most people will probably say make her a bridesmaid. i think you should too. but if you're totally dead set against it, what about including her in the wedding in other ways?

i know there was a post recently about how to include friends even when they weren't part of the BP.

Yeah like having do a reading @ the church or something to make her feel invovled.....HMMMM

LO13LO13 Posted: Nov 24, 2004 05:49 PM

Re: MAID OF HONOR?????

i think you should just go with your feeling about what to do. just remember you don't want to regret your decision in the future. i'm not having my sister in the bp, i have issue upon issue with her, at this point i'm still deciding if i want her there or not!! good luck with your decision, i know it's hard!

MRSJLK Posted: Nov 24, 2004 07:42 PM

Re: MAID OF HONOR?????

I think you should def make her a bm....you may not be very close now but you never know what your relationship will be when she gets older and matures - and if you do grow closer you don't want to look back and regret not having her a part of your wedding.

I think you should def make your bf your MOH you need to choose someone who is reliable and someone you are very close to.

JMO - Good Luck

nov04LIbride Posted: Nov 24, 2004 07:50 PM

Re: MAID OF HONOR?????

I would have her in the wedding party. If she is mentally ill that is a sickness and IMO no reason to hold that against her--if she wants you to go to therapy with her it must be to work on your relationship--I think leaving her out would be a slap in the face to the whole family. Good luck!

Dooodles Posted: Nov 24, 2004 08:04 PM

Re: MAID OF HONOR?????

Posted by nov04LIbride

I would have her in the wedding party. If she is mentally ill that is a sickness and IMO no reason to hold that against her--if she wants you to go to therapy with her it must be to work on your relationship--I think leaving her out would be a slap in the face to the whole family. Good luck!

I agree. She has a sickness, it's not just an attitude adjustment thing in this situation. Asking her to be a BM is a great idea. My sister's step-daughter was heavily medicated at the time of her wedding and looked it in the photos. The girl is doing so much better due to different atmosphere and different meds. It would be a shame for her to look back and know she was not included.

LuckyMe Posted: Nov 24, 2004 10:01 PM

Re: MAID OF HONOR?????

She's 17yrs. old, keep in mind that one day she's going to grow out of her 17yr. old issues and may even turn into one of your bestfriends(hopefully). Ask yourself if you want to look back on the most important day of your life and not have her be apart of it. You may regret it later. Kept your moh who it is and make her a bm. Good Luck!!

OSCARtheGROOM Posted: Nov 24, 2004 10:12 PM

Re: MAID OF HONOR?????

Posted by myssd

i personally would make her a bridesmaid, just t keep peace with the family. in the future you may become friends with her and you might regret not having her a part of your wedding

i agree!

Marisa M Posted: Nov 24, 2004 10:16 PM

Re: MAID OF HONOR?????

She's your sister. - Make her a BM for that reason only - and don't expect her to much of anything but show up that day. -
My cousin almost booted her sister from MOH when she was getting married (MAJOR issues, similar to yours) But like your sister, my cousin (MOH) was also only about 19 ....NOW that it's all water under the bridge i'm sure the bride would have regretted it - and things wouldn't be the way they are between them now.......

tinkerwdw Posted: Nov 24, 2004 11:00 PM

Re: MAID OF HONOR?????

I had a similar situation. I have four sisters though- but they are all far apart in age from me- and one of them is from my mother/stepfather, the other three from my dad/stepmom. My family, grandmother in particular, felt that I should make my closest in age sister my maid of honor, but I felt the same as you do- she is 6 years younger than me, and, although I love her to death, she doesn't know me as well as my best friend of 13 years who is my MOH. Of course, all of my sisters are BMs- but don't make your family let you feel guilty about your choice. Go with your gut and what you are feeling in your heart!

BriBri529 Posted: Nov 24, 2004 11:01 PM

Re: MAID OF HONOR?????

I would still make her a bridesmaid.

Bunnymonkey Posted: Nov 24, 2004 11:23 PM

Re: MAID OF HONOR?????

Posted by nov04LIbride

I would have her in the wedding party. If she is mentally ill that is a sickness and IMO no reason to hold that against her--if she wants you to go to therapy with her it must be to work on your relationship--I think leaving her out would be a slap in the face to the whole family. Good luck!

agreed - it sounds like she and the family are making an effort to bring you into working on the problem and you are pushing away from her. I would make her a bridesmaid. Good luck.

CubanBride Posted: Nov 25, 2004 07:55 AM

Re: MAID OF HONOR?????

Even with all of her issues, she is still your sister. I don't think you HAVE TO make he a bridesmaid. I think if you had her do a reading, that would be special enough for her to feel as if she were a part of it. Does she even want to participate? You should just ask her. She may not want to.

Princessmaris Posted: Nov 25, 2004 11:34 AM

Re: MAID OF HONOR?????

I would say make her a bridesmaid....however def. don't make her your moh..... it should be someone who is so close to you, the way you say your bf is!

If you really feel strongly about not inviting your sister at all..... Then you have to do what makes you happiest...its your day!

Ldybug8 Posted: Nov 25, 2004 11:58 AM

Re: MAID OF HONOR?????

I would make her a bridesmaid. It is true that you will get close as you get older and it would be nice that she was in your wedding. Remember your family will always be your family.