After I got engaged I asked a very good friend of mine of many years to be one of my bride's maids. She graciously accpeted. A few months later, she informed me that she was getting 2 dread locks in her hair. Never thinking she would ever do her whole head, I said 'If you ever do your whole head, I cannot have you in my wedding.' Well, here we are two months later and she is doing her whole head. She called me and told me that I have to make a decision because she is definitely doing it. I don't want to seem superficial, because her friendship means so much to me. She says she will not be hurt or offended, but I still dont want to make that decision. I just have this dream of what my wedding would be like and this just doesn't fit in. Am I being selfish?
bethb
Posted:
Member since
Re: MAJOR Bride's Maid Dilema! HELP!
I think dreads are kinda cool.... reguardless, friendship definatly wins in my opinion. All eyes are going to be on the bride anyhow!
beachbum05
Posted:
Member since
Re: MAJOR Bride's Maid Dilema! HELP!
Yeah, I kinda agree with Beth.
The photos will be of you and your hubby! Don't get stressed over this. You have bigger fish to fry and other things to stress out about!!!
sfmullen
Posted:
Member since
Re: MAJOR Bride's Maid Dilema! HELP!
you would be suprised how they can do a nice up do with dreads if she is willing but I agree friendship wins. my BM has 15 very visable tattoos and I welcome them because if she was to cover them up then it wouldnt be the Renee I know and she is who I love not a fake Renee
DanNette
Posted:
Member since
Re: MAJOR Bride's Maid Dilema! HELP!
A friend is always a friend, with a mohawk or even dreads!
Keep her, maybe she can tie them back in a ponytail or a bun. The focus will be on you the whole day anyway.
OctoberPrincess2006
Posted:
Member since
Re: MAJOR Bride's Maid Dilema! HELP!
I would still have her in my wedding, no matter what hairstyle she has.
bournebride
Posted:
Member since
Re: MAJOR Bride's Maid Dilema! HELP!
Why can't she wait until after the wedding????
debbiedee77
Posted:
Member since
Re: MAJOR Bride's Maid Dilema! HELP!
Posted by OctoberPrincess2006
I would still have her in my wedding, no matter what hairstyle she has.
I agree. You said that her friendship means so much to you, if you don't have her in your wedding, you will probably look back someday and regret it.
SN2BMRSBURTE
Posted:
Member since
Re: MAJOR Bride's Maid Dilema! HELP!
My BF had the same problem with her sister. But when I saw the pictures, I couldn't even tell. They did a great updo, and put flowers in her hair, it looked pretty. Maybe have her do a hair trial. you'd be suprised how nice they can make it look
beaviss80
Posted:
Member since
Re: MAJOR Bride's Maid Dilema! HELP!
keep her...bottom line ... its only hair, frienship is much more important than that!
rojerono
Posted:
Member since
Re: MAJOR Bride's Maid Dilema! HELP!
If I were you, I would have her in the wedding. It is not about celebrating the appearance of the bridal party. What if - God Forbid - she had lost her hair to cancer, or had been scarred horribly in an accident... would you decide not to have her because your pics might be less than perfect? I hope that doesn't sound harsh! I hope I don't seem judgemental, because this is your decision, but I think you need to really determine what is most important to you - having your friend stand by you - or having 'perfect' pictures...
Good Luck!
beaviss80
Posted:
Member since
Re: MAJOR Bride's Maid Dilema! HELP!
Posted by sfmullen
you would be suprised how they can do a nice up do with dreads if she is willing but I agree friendship wins. my BM has 15 very visable tattoos and I welcome them because if she was to cover them up then it wouldnt be the Renee I know and she is who I love not a fake Renee
good for you! thats cool, i have 2 full sleeves of tats...and i'm the bride!
LaurenluvsTJ
Posted:
Member since
Re: MAJOR Bride's Maid Dilema! HELP!
I really don't see the dilemma here. She is your friend, who cares if her hair is in dreads - or her hair was purple, or she was bald? Whats more important to you? Your friends being with you on the most important day of your life, or the perfect wedding image you have in your head? I apologize if I sound harsh, but I cannot imagine kicking a good friend of mine out of my BP because of something she did to her hair.
sunflower13
Posted:
Member since
Re: MAJOR Bride's Maid Dilema! HELP!
friendship is the most important thing, no one will even notice her hair..all eyes will be on you.
Jen_n_Dale
Posted:
Member since
Re: MAJOR Bride's Maid Dilema! HELP!
I feel your pain. I had this happen to me. Except is was DH sister. She wasn't into being unique when I had asked her. When we got married she had her faced pierced, her hair was pink. We were paying a lot of money for our wedding album and just because this was possibly a phase she was going through, I didn't want it to be in my wedding album. I had expressed my conerns to my photographer. So we didn't take as many group shots as normal. I don't regret it. There were just more shots of who the weding is about. Dale and I.
AMGBride2008
Posted:
Member since
Re: MAJOR Bride's Maid Dilema! HELP!
If you really truly can't get past the fact that she will have a full head of dreads than maybe there is another way she can be part of your day, a reading maybe? I agree with most of the girl though, friendship is friendship no matter what your hair looks like.... but it is your day so do what you want. Good luck!
KellyS15
Posted:
Member since
Re: MAJOR Bride's Maid Dilema! HELP!
Thanks girls! You all made me feel so much better. I know that I was having a superficial moment, but I was on LI Weddings when she called and I was just upset. I don't think that I could ever not have her in my wedding. Thanks for the advice. In the fight of Friend vs. Dreads....
FRIEND WINS!!!
Thanks again!
ellebelle1
Posted:
Member since
Re: MAJOR Bride's Maid Dilema! HELP!
Throw her hair back and add some diamond clips, and everyone will think she did the 'messy' look.
dancinmyazoff
Posted:
Member since
Re: MAJOR Bride's Maid Dilema! HELP!
Posted by beaviss80
keep her...bottom line ... its only hair, frienship is much more important than that!
Agreed! It's only hair, that doesn't change your friendship and I'm sure you would regret not having her in the wedding.
pixiechickie
Posted:
Member since
Re: MAJOR Bride's Maid Dilema! HELP!
First...dreads are cool and they might look great up. Im having a 2 lezbians in my wedding party, one of which has never worn a dress, never wore makeup, never touched her hair. I think its gonna be a rip.
