Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

Original post by Snowflake08

Dec 11, 2007 11:06 PM

Ok one of my so called best friends got married 2 years ago
I was in her wedding and helped her with EVERYTHING
i did her envelopes, had her shower at my apartment, planned the bachelorette party
got her e-ring at wholesale cost from my uncle and wedding bands and a lot of other stuff too

FH and i helped her move upstate when she and her husband bought their house

i sent her a text because i got a xmas card from her but no RSVP
she JUST sent me an email saying that she is NOT COMING to my wedding and her excuse is SO LAME

Her husband (who WAS my friend too) goes every January to a differen steak house in the US with his closest friends
so she emailed me that she didnt realize when he booked his annual trip that he wasnt getting back until Feb 3
MEANWHILE, i invited her mother and step father too so if she WANTED to be there and not drive alone, she COULD come with them!!!

what would you do or say to her if you were me??

FH is at work, i called him crying, he feels so bad but keeps telling me not to let it bother me

Snowflake08 Posted: Dec 12, 2007 05:04 PM

Re: Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

well, she did respond
said she cant believe i would throw everything ive ever done for her in her face and i wrote back that it is a once in a lifetime day and i am upset

that if it mattered, she would do whatever she could to be there

nmagel Posted: Dec 12, 2007 05:20 PM

Re: Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

I agree. Is she even going on the steakhouse trip?? If not, then I'd be really upset.
Maybe she's pissed that you didn't have a bridal party? People are weird

SugaBeans Posted: Dec 12, 2007 05:35 PM

Re: Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

this would really piss me off too!!! thats not an excuse. she can def come alone or with her parents. she should be there, no matter what.

MeaganAndJoeC Posted: Dec 12, 2007 05:38 PM

Re: Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

wow in this case venting is necessary... im sorry that she is beinhg so rude to you ..

MrsHtobe Posted: Dec 12, 2007 05:39 PM

Re: Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

Posted by Snowflake08

well, she did respond
said she cant believe i would throw everything ive ever done for her in her face and i wrote back that it is a once in a lifetime day and i am upset

that if it mattered, she would do whatever she could to be there

my response would have been 'I can't believe that I HAVE to bring up everything I've done for you in the past'

Smiley7092 Posted: Dec 12, 2007 06:21 PM

Re: Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

WOW I just read all of the posts! I cannot believe how childish she is being! If she wasn't a close friend maybe it wouldn't be such a big deal but you said she is one of your best friends. That is such a lame excuse because her husband isn't going. How far away does she live from you and where you are having the wedding? Besides even if I was far away from my best friend I would be there regardless of if my FH could go or not! NO EXCUSE!!! I would be beyond pissed if she did that to me. That is just a slap in the face especially after everything you have done for her. And you are not throwing it in her face, just trying to remind her how you have always been there for her and on your one wedding day she can't be bothered. Wow this is getting me so mad!!! Turn all your sadness into anger!! I hope you feel better!

meli722 Posted: Dec 12, 2007 06:27 PM

Re: Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

wow thats crazy!!!
how could she miss your wedding for somehting like that....sorry you have to be going through this sounds like she isnt really a true friend

Espo22 Posted: Dec 12, 2007 06:33 PM

Re: Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

Posted by Snowflake08

well, she did respond
said she cant believe i would throw everything ive ever done for her in her face and i wrote back that it is a once in a lifetime day and i am upset

that if it mattered, she would do whatever she could to be there

well her response is basically bc she knows she is wrong, she can't justify an answer and to put it back on you she'll say that.

DiamondPipa Posted: Dec 12, 2007 06:36 PM

Re: Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

OMGGG i have not really been on much and just saw this post right now. how crazy!!! i would be fuming.....I am actually in an extremely similar situation and the way i'm handling it is, i will see what happens the day of and if the person doesn't come through, then i'm just going to phase her out of my life....i'm way too busy in my life to have one-sided friends!

beachbum05 Posted: Dec 12, 2007 06:46 PM

Re: Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

Wow Laura.

How gross. Is that all she said? Did she say she'd TRY and come now that everythings all out on the table?

MikeandJess Posted: Dec 12, 2007 06:49 PM

Re: Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

aww laura, look how many people love you here

bluegreen08 Posted: Dec 12, 2007 06:58 PM

Re: Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

Posted by MikeandJess

aww laura, look how many people love you here

i cant believe this is happening. i had a long friendship blow up over something ridiculous similar to this, but 4 years later we made up... maybe things will work themselves out in the future, but she is NOT deserving your friendship right now. i'm sure she will look back on this period soon with great regret....

jeanne08 Posted: Dec 12, 2007 07:50 PM

Re: Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

Ummmm...Why can't she come by herself?
Who cares if her DH is eating steak someplace. She can still come! And an e-mailed regret is not cool!

SoontobeMrsH Posted: Dec 12, 2007 08:00 PM

Re: Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

I can't believ that Is a steak house really more better than her BBF Wedding? How? Why? I don't get it

lela9282008 Posted: Dec 12, 2007 08:03 PM

Re: Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

wow, thats messed up, you should tell her that she is wrong for what she is doing and it is not right, let her know.

Jetfan1521 Posted: Dec 13, 2007 02:53 PM

Re: Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

Ok I'm gonna respond again cause I'm in a similiar situation...except maybe worse..this is my family we are talking about. Long story short..my dad passed away 3 years ago and my stepmother(whose been my stepmother for 26 years) and my 2 stepsisters (20 and 14) live in Georgia! Ok..so let's go back to last christmas..i called them twice that day - left messages both times - and not one of them called me to wish me a merry christmas..fast forward to a week later when we got engaged in disney...i called and 2 DAYS later my sister called..before i mentioned anything i asked her if they got the gifts i mailed about 2 weeks prior for christmas...i sent them gift cards to abercrombie and what not - and stuff for my stepmother..not ONE thank you from any of them..and not ONE card for me from them! OK..talk about being upset..my dad must have been flipping from cloud to cloud - i'm sorry but when my dad was here...i'd get a card and presents for everything..obviously i would fly down there - but i just flew there that oct - and couldn't go in december! Ok...so then crap happened with my little sis and my stepmother didn't talk to me from march until june - i s%$ & you not! Ok..sorry for the novel..but now i'm venting..no congratulations on your engagement card - NOTHING! I heard from my aunt in florida (dad's sister) that she might not come to the wedding - financial reasons (mind you i never saw a penny of what my dad left me) but whatever..she obviously needs it more - so she can shove it...but..if she does come - my sisters' aren't! WHAT THE F&^% is up with that? I am so so hurt but I swore that i would NOT let it ruin my day! My mom and sisters' sent her a bridal shower invite so i'm so curious to see if she responds (obviously i know she's not coming) but i want to see if she even has the decency to call my mom and maybe even send a gift? UUHH
I think we both need to just focus on our other friends and family who mean the world to us and enjoy our day!

Celest Posted: Dec 13, 2007 02:58 PM

Re: Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

That is horrible hon. I am speechless That ***** and is so rude. I'm sorry for that. Why do I envision them like the evil stepmom & sister from the movie Ever after.. lol. No seriously that is uncalled for & I wish people were better to other.

You are right though we need to concentrate on the people who give back as much as they receive.

Jetfan1521 Posted: Dec 13, 2007 03:16 PM

Re: Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

Ya know what's even more hurtful and this is what I can't understand...all my life growing up with them...I got along SO WELL with her and obviously my sisters. It's like all of a sudden since my dads not here anymore, things change. It's just weird and more so hurtful than anything. My FH doesn't even want them at the wedding after what they've done to me..i feel like if i invite them and they don't come - i'll be even MORE hurt - but how do i not invite them? Here's another thing I didn't say before - when my dad married her - she had another daughter from another marriage - so I have an older stepsister (absolutely no blood relation) who is 35 and we get along fantastic - she is a bridesmaid. I was wondering whether my stepmother and sisters were hurt that i didn't ask the other 2 to be in my wedding - since my other sisters (from my mom and stepfather - these are MY SISTERS - i lived with them my whole life) are in it. But..i didn't ask anyone until March...and in between jan and march...my sisters in ga never called...including my stepmother - how do u not call me to wish me a merry christmas...lata to you! Anyway - they put my dad through hell when he was sick...parties at the house when we were staying at the hospital..the list goes on. I'll NEVER forgive them for that!